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NEW WORKS 

RECENTLY PUBLISHED, 

AND FOR SALE BY 

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In Three Volumes, 12mo. 

i M C R 1 N G L E'S LOG. 

COMPLETE. ^ 

A NEW EDITION, REVISED AND CORRECTED. 

" The scenes are chiefly nautical, and we can gtfely say that no author 
of tha present day, not even excepting our own Cooper, ha9 surpassed him 
in his element." — U- S. Oazctte. 

" The sketches are not only replete with entertainment, but useful, aa 
afltinling an accurate and vivid description of scenery, and of life and 
manners in the West Indies." — Boston Traveller. 

" We think none who have read this work will deny that the author is 
the best nautical writer who has yet appeared. He is not Smollett, he ia 
not Cooper; but he is far superior to them both." — Boston Transcript. 

" The scenes arc chiefly nautical, and are described in a style of beauty 
and interest never surpassed by any writer." — Baltimore Oazctte. 

"The author has been justly compared with Cooper, and many of his 
sketches are in fact equal to any from the pen of our celebrated country- 
man." — Saturday Evening Post. 

" A pleasant but a marvellously strange and wild amalgamation of wa- 
ter and earth is ' Tom Cringle;' full of quips and cranks, and toils and 
pranks. A fellow of fun and talent is he, with a proditrious taste for 
yarns, long and short, old and new; never, or but seldom, carrying morei 
eai; than ballast, and being a most delightful companion, both by laiul and 
sea. We were fascinated with the talewts of Tom when we met him in 
our respected contemporary from the biting north. His Log was to us like 
a wild breeze of ocean, fresh and health-giving, with now and then a dash 
of the tearful, that summoned the sigh from onr heart of hearts; but now 
that the yarns are collected and fairly launched, we hail them as a source 
of much gratification at this dull season. Tom Cringle arrd a Christmas 
fire! may well join in the chorus of ' Begone, dull rare!' — The ' tiuenching 
of the Torch' is one of the most pathetic descriptions we ever read. The 
•Scenes at Jamaica' are full of vigour. As a whole, we have no hesitation 
in pronoi.ncing 'The Loc' the most entertaining book of the season. 
There has been a sort of W\Tverley mystery thrown over the aiithoiship 
of these charming papers; and though many have guessed the author, yet 
we take unto ourselves the credit of much sasacify in imagining that we 
only have solved the enigma :— there are passases in 'Tcni Cringle' that 
we br-lieve no living author except Professor Wilson himself could write, 
snatches of pure, exalted, and poetic feeling, so truly Wilsonian, that we pen. 
r.iled them as we re id on, and said. There he is again, and again, and again; 
to the very Inst chapter."— J^ejc Monthly Magazine. 



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CELEBRATED TRIALS, 



CASES OF CRIMINAL JURISPRUDENCE OF ALI 
AGES AND COUNTRIES. 

In One large volume, 8vo., containing 600 closely printed pages. 

CONTENTS. 



John Tliurtell and Joseph Hunt, for 
the murder of William Ware, at 
Hertford, January, 1821. 

Henry Fauntleroy, Esq.. for forgery, 
at the Old Bailey, October 30, 1824. 
"Anna Schonleben (Germany), for 
poisouinff, 1808. 

John Dueke Ilouvelett, for forgery, 
ISOG. 

John Holloway and Owen Haggerty, 
for the murder of John Cole Steele, 
on Hounslow-heath, February 22,^ 
1807. 

The unknown Murderer, or the 
Police at fault (Germany), 1817. 

Thomas Simmons, for murder, Oct. 
20, 1807. 

Major Alexander Campbell, for the 
murdei of Captain Alexander 
Boyd, at Armagh, in a duel. 1807. 

James Stuart, for the murder of Sir 
Alexander Boswell, in a duel, 1322. 

Martha Alden, for murder, 1807. 

Fiancis S. Riembauer, for assassina- 
tion, 1805. 

Eliza Fenning, for an attempt to poi- 
son Mr. Olibar Turner and fsunily, 
April 11, 1815. 

Willinm Jones, for murder. 

Abraham Thornton, for the murder 
of Mary Ashford, 1817. 

Castaing, the physician, for murder, 
at Paris, November, 1817. 

John DonoUan, Esq., for tiie murder 
of Sir Theodosius Edward Allesly 
Boughton ; before the Hon. Sir 
Francis BuUer, 1781. 

Sir Walter Raleigh, for high-treason, 
in the reign of James I., A.D. 1602. 

James O'Coigiey, Anhur O'Connor, 
John Binns, John Allen, and Jere- 
miah Leary. for high-treason ; at 
Maidstone, 1798. 

Miss Ann Broadric, for the murder 
of Mr. Erringlon, 1795. 

William Corder, for the murder of 
Maria Marten, 1S27. 

William Codlin, for scuttling a ship, 

1802. 
J^osepli Wall, for the murder of Ben- , 
«min Armstrong, at Goree, 1802. 
2 



Vice-admiral Byng, for neglect o.; 

duty ; at a court-martial, held on 

board his majesty's ship the St. 

George, in Portsmouth harbour, 

1757. 
Richard Savage, the poet, James 

Gregory, and William Merchant, 

for the murder of James Sinclair, 

1727. 
Admiral Keppel, for neglect of duty, 

July, 1778, at a court-martial. 
Sir Hugh Palliser, Vice-admiral of 

the Blue, for neglect of duty, 1779. 
Sarah Metyard and Sarah M. Met- 

yard, for murder, 1763. 
John Bishop, Thomas Williams, and 

Jaiues May, for the murder of 

Charles Ferriar, 1831. 
Sawney Cunningliam, executed at 

Leith, 1635, for murder. 
Sarah Malcolm, for the murder of 

Ann Price, 1733. 
Joseph Barelti, for the murder of 

Evan Morgan, 1769. 
Mungo Campbell, for murder, 1721. 
Lucretia Chapman, for the murder 

of William Chapman, late of Bucks 

county, Pennsylvania, 1332. 
Lino Amalio Espos y Mina, for the 

murder of William Chapman, at 

the same court, 1832. 
John Hatfield, for forgeiy, 1S03. 
Trial by combat, between Henry 

Plantagcnet, duke of Here ford and 

Lancaster, antl afteivvards king of 

England by the title of Henry IV., 

and Thomas Mowbray, duke of 

Norfolk, earl-marshal of England, 

1397. 
Cajitain John Gow and others, for 

piracy, 1729. 
William Burke and Helen McDougal 

for murder, 1S28. 
Charles Mack! in (the author), for th 

murder of Thomas Hallam, May 

1735. 
Mary Young, alias Jenny Diver, for 

privately stealing, 1740. 
Georae Hemderson and Margaret 

Nisbet, for forging a bill on the 

dutchess of Gordon, 1726. 



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John Chisle, of Dairy, for the murder 
of the Rijiht Hon. Sir George Lock- 
hart, of Carnwith, lord-i)resi(lent 
of the rourt of sessions, and mem- 
ber of his majesty's lu-ivy council, 
1&S9. 

William Henry, duke of Cumber- 
lantl, for adultery with Lady Gi-os- 
venor, 1770. 

Robert and Daniel Perreau, for for- 
gery, 1775. 

Margaret Caroline Rudd, for forgery, 
1775 

Henry Wliite, Jr., for a libel on the 
duke of Cumberland, 1813. 

riiilip Nicholson, for the nmrder of 
Mr. and Mrs. Bonar, at Maidstone, 
1813. 

Mr. William Cobbett, for libel, in the 
court of King's Bench, 1810. 

John Beiliiigham, Esq., for the mur- 
der of the Right Hon. S'pencer Per- 
ceval, chancellor of Ihe exchequer, 
in the lobby of the House of Com- 
mons, May 11, 1811. 

Mary Stone, for child murder, pre- 
ferred by her sister, at Surry as- 
sizes, 1817. 

Arthur Thistlewood, James Ings, and 
others, for high-treason, at the OJd 
Bailey, lS-20. 

Thoma.s, earl of Stafford, for high- 
treason, IWS. 

Trial of the Rebels in 1745 : 

Lords Kilmarnock, Cromartie, Ral- 
merino, and Lovat— Charles Rat- 
clilTe, Esq.— Townley and Dawson. 
— Flet-.her and SyddaU.— Dr. Ca- 
meron. 

Rob Roy Misrnregor, and other Mac- 
grejiors, 1700 to 174G. 



Alexis Petrowitz Czarowitz, pre- 
sumptive heir to Ihc crown of 
Russia, condemned to death by 
his father, 1715. 

Joseph Hunton, a Quaker, for for- 
gery, 1S2S.— His execution. . 

Captain William Kidd, for murder 
and piracy, 1701. 

Remarkable case of witchcraft, be- 
fore Sir Matthew I£ale, 1002. 

The Salem Witches. 

Svfferers for pretended Witclicrafl 
in Scotland. 

Alison Pearson. — Janet Grant and 
Janet Clark, 15S8.— John Cunning- 
ham, 1590.— Agnes Sampson, l.'^lJl. 
— John Fien, 1.501.— Kuphan M Cal- 
zene, 1591. — Patrick Lawrie, 1G05. 
—Margaret Wallace, IGiiO.- Isobel 
Yuung, 1629.— Alexander Hamil- 
ton, 1630.— John iSeil, 1630.— Janet 
Brown and others, I'oAO. 

The Samuelston Witches — Isobel 
Elliot, and nine other women, 1678. 

Im|)ostor of Barragan, 1096. 

Trial, by combat, between Sir John 
Annesley, Knight, and Thomas 
Katrinicton, Esq., 13S0. 

James George Lisle, alias Major 
Semple, for stealing, 1795. 

Queen Emma, trial by fire-ordeal. 

John Home Tooke, for high-treason, 
1794. 



Joseph Tnompson Hare, for mt.»l- 

robbery in Virginia, 1818. 
Richard Carlile, for a libel, 1819. 



Circianstantial Evidence. 
Jonathan Bradford.— James Crow.— 
John Jenni.ngs. — Thomas Harris. 
—William Shaw. 



MEMOIRS OF 



GREAT MILITARY COMMANDERS. 

BY G. R. P. JAMES, 

Author of "Darnlet," "Hknry Masterto?.'," &<*. 

Inchiding Henry V. of England ; John, Duke of Bedford ; Gon- 
zales de Cordova ; Ferdinand, Duke of Alva ; GUver Cromwell ; 
Marshal Turenne ; The Great Conde ; General Monk ; Duke 
of Albemarle ; Duke of Marlborough ; 'I'he Earl of Peter- 
borough ; Marquis of Graiiby ; General Wolf, &c. &c. 

"A more interesting series of memoirs could not be presented to the 
euriosiiy of readers, inasmuch as in the livts nf such men, romantic adven- 
tures of the most exciting kind co-exist with the strictest truth."— CVwner. 

3 



NEW WORKS FOR SALE. 



BY THE SAME AUTHOR. 

In One Vol. 12mo. 
A NARRATIVE 

OF THE 

LIFE OF DAVID CROCKETT, 

OF THE STATE OF TENNESSEE 

" I leave this rule for others when I'm dead : - 
Be always sure you're right— ilien go ahead !" 

The Author. ^ 

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 



In One Vol. 12mo. 
T H E L I F E 

OF 

MARTIN VAN BUREN, 

HEIR-APPARENT TO THE " GOVERNMENT^' AND THE APPOINTED 
SUCCESSOR OF GENERAL ANDREW JACKSON. 

BY COL. DAVID CROCKETT. 



In One Vol. 12 mo. 
AN ACCOUNT 

OF 

COL. CROCKET T^S TOUR 

TO THE 

NORTH AND DOWN EAST, 

IX THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 1834: 

His object boing to examine the grand Manufacturing Establish- 
ments of the Country ; and also to find out the Condition of its 
Literature and Morals, the Extent of its Commerce, and the 
practical operation of « The Experiment." 

" When thou dost read a book, do not turn the leaves only, but 
gather the fruit." 

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 

J'Vith a Portrait of the Author from an engraving on steel. 

4 



COL. CROCKETT'S 

EXPLOITS. AND ADVENTURES 

IN TEXAS: 

WHEREIN IS CONTAINED 

A FULL ACCOUNT OJF HIS JOURNEY FROM TENNESSEE TO THE RED 

RIVER AND NATCHITOCHES, AND THENCE ACROSS 

TEXAS TO SAN ANTONIO ; 

INCLUDINa 

HIS MANY HAIR-BREADTH ESCAPES ; 

TOGETHER WITH 

A TOPOGKAPUICAL, HISTORICAL, AND POLITICAL 
VIEW OF TEXAS. 



Say, what can politicians do, 

When things run riot, plague, and vex us ? 
But ahouMcrJlook, ami start anew. 

Cut stick, and oo ahead in Texas ! ! ! 

The Author. 



WRITTEN BY HIMSELF. 



THE NARRATIVE BROUGHT DOWN FROM THE DEATJI OF 

COL. CROCKETT TO THE BATTLE OF SAN JACINTO, 

Br AN ErE~WITNESS. 



PHILADELPHIA : 

T. K. AND P. G. COLLINS. 

183 6. 
ID 



>\ 



'>^ 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S36, by 
T. K. & P. G. Collins,- 
in the Clerk's OfBce of the District Court of the Eastern Dislritt of 
Pennsylvania. 



£^ (p ^ 



STEREOTTPED BV L. JOHNSO 
FHILADELP^IA. 



PREFACE, 



Colonel Crockett, at the time of leaving 
Tennessee for Texas, made a promise to his 
friends that he would keep notes of what- 
ever micrht occur to him of moment, with 
the ulterior view of laying his adventures 
before the public. He was encouraged in 
this undertaking by the favourable manner 
in which his previous publications had 
been received : and if he had been spared 
throughout the Texian struggle, it cannot 
be doubted that he would have produced a 
work replete with interest, and such as 
would have been universally read. His 
plain and unpolished style may occasion- 
ally offend the taste of those who are stick- 
lers for classic refinement; while others 

iii 



IV PREFACE- 

will value it for that frankness and sincerity 
w^hich is the best voucher for the truth of 
the facts he relates. The manuscript has 
not been altered since it came into the pos- 
session of the editor; though it is but pro- 
per to state that it had previously un- 
dergone a slight verbal revision ; and 
the occasional interlineations were recog- 
nise'd to be in the handwriting of the Bee 
hunter, so frequently mentioned in the 
progress of the narrative. These correc- 
tions were doubtless made at the author's 
own request, and received his approba- 
tion. 

This worthy and talented young man 
was well known in New Orleans. His 
parents were wealthy, he had received a 
liberal education, was the pride and soul 
of the circle in which he moved^ but his 
destiny was suddenly overshadowed by an 
act in which he had no agency, but his 
proud father in a moment of anger turned 
his face upon him, and the romantic youth, 
with a wounded spirit, commenced the^ 



PREFACE. V 

roving life which he had pursued with suc- 
cess for four or five years. His father re- 
cently found out the great injustice that 
had been done his proud spirited son, re- 
called him, and a reconciliation took place; 
but the young man had become enamoured 
of Texas, and a young woman at Nacog- 
doches, and had already selected a planta- 
tion in Austin's colony, on which he in- 
tended to have settled in the course of the 
coming year. The following letter will 
explain the manner in which the manu- 
script was preserved, and how it came into 
my possession : — 

San Jacinto, May 3, 1836. 

My dear friend, — 

I write this from the town of Lynchburg, 
on the San Jacinto, to inform you that I 
am laid up in ordinary at this place, having 
been wounded in the right knee by a mus- 
ket ball, in the glorious battle of the 20th 
ultimo. Having some friends residing here, 
I w^as anxious to o^et amono^ them, for an 
invalid has not much chance of receiving 
1* 



VI PREFACE. 

proper attention from the army surgeons in 
the present state of affairs. I send you a 
literary curiosity, which I doubt not you 
will agree with me should be laid before 
the public. It is the journal of Colonel 
Crockett, from the time of his leaving Ten- 
nessee up to the day preceding his untimely 
death at the Alamo. The manner of its 
preservation was somewhat singular. The 
Colonel was among the six who were found 
alive in the fort after the general massacre 
had ceased. General Castrillon, as you have 
already learned, was favourably impressed 
w^ith his manly and courageovis deportment, 
and interceded for his life, but in vain. 
After the fort had been ransacked, these 
papers w^ere found in the Colonel's bag- 
gage, by the servant of Castrillon, who 
immediately carried them to his master. 
After the battle of San Jacinto, they were 
found in the baggage of Castrillon, and as 
I was by at the time, and recognised the 
manuscript, I secured it, and saved it from 
being cast away as worthless, or torn up as 



PREFACE. Vll 

cartridge paper. By way of beguiling the 
tedious hours of my ilhiess, I have added a 
chapter, and brought down a history of the 
events to the present time. Most of the 
facts I have recorded, I gathered from 
Castrillon's servant, and other Mexican 
prisoners. The manuscript is at your 
service to do with as you please, but I 
should advise its publication, and should 
it be deemed necessary, you are at liberty 
to publish this letter also, by way of expla- 
nation. 

With sincere esteem, your friend, 

Charles T. Beale. ' 

To Alex. J. Dumas Esq., New Orleans. 

The deep interest that has been taken? 
for several years past, in the sayings and 
doiugs of Colonel Crockett, has induced me 
to lay this last of his literary labours before 
the public, not doubting that it will be read 
with as much avidity as his former publi- 
cationS; though in consequence of the deatli 
of the author before he had revised the 



ViU PREFACE. 

sheets for the^ press, it will necessarily be 
Tishered into the world with many imper- 
fections on its head, for which indulgence 
is craved by the public's obedient servant, 

Alex. J. Dumas. 

New Orleans, June, 1836 



ADVENTURES 



IN 



TEXAS. 



CHAPTER I. 

It is a true saying that no one knows the luck 
of a lousy calf, for though in a country where, 
according to the Declaration of Independence, the 
people are all born free and equal, \iiose who have 
a propensity to go ahead may aim at the highest 
honours, and they may ultimately reach them too, 
though they start at the lowest rowel of the ladder, 
— still it is a huckelberry above my persimmon to 
cipher out how it is with six months' schooling 
only, I, David Crockett, find myself the most popu- 
lar bookmaker of the day; and such is the demand 
for my works that I cannot write them half fast 
enough, no how I can fix it. This problem would 
bother even my friend Major Jack Downing's rule 
of three, to bring out square after all his practice 
2 13 



14 COLONEL Crockett's 

on the Post Office accounts and the public lands to 
boot. 

I have been told that there was one Shakspeare 
more than two hundred years ago, who was brought 
up a hostler, but finding it a dull business, took to 
writing plays, and made as great a stir in his time 
as I do at present; which will go to show, that one 
ounce of the genuine horse sense is worth a pound 
of your book learning any day, and if a man is 
only determined to go ahead^ the more kicks he 
receives in his breech the faster he will get on his 
journey. 

Finding it necessary to write another book, that 
the whole world may be made acquainted with my 
movements, and to save myself the trouble of an- 
swering all tl^ questions that are poked at me, as 
if my own private business was the business of the 
nation, I set about the work, and offer the people' 
another proof of my capacity to write my own 
messages and state papers, should I be pitched 
upon to run against the Little Flying Dutchman, 
a thing not unlikely from present appearances ; 
but somehow I feel rather dubious that my learning 
may not make against me, as " the greatest and the 
best'' has set the example of writing his long rig- 
maroles by proxy, which I rather reckon is the 
easiest plan. 



- ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 15 

I begin this book on the 8th day of July, 1835, 
at Home, Weakley county, Tennessee. I have 
just returned from a two weeks' electioneering 
canvass, and I have spoken every day to large 
concourses of people with my competitor. I have 
him badly plagued, for he does not know as much 
about "the Government," the deposites, and the 
Little Flying Dutchman, whose life I wrote, as I 
can tell the people; and at times he is as much 
bothered as a fly in a tar pot to get out of the mess. 
A candidate is often stumped in making stump- 
speeches. His name is Adam Huntsman ; he lost 
a leg in an Indian fight, they say, during the last 
war, and the Government run him on the score of 
his military services. I tell him in my speech 
that I have great hopes of writing one more book, 
and that shall be the second fall of Adam, for he is 
on the Eve of an almighty thrashing. He relishes 
the joke about as much as a doctor does his own 
physic. I handle the administration without gloves, 
and I do believe I will double my competitor, if I 
have a fair shake, and he does not work like a 
mole in the dark. Jacksonism is dying here faster 
than it ever sprung up, and I predict that " the 
Government" will be the most unpopular man, in 
one year more, that ever had any pretensions to the 
high place he now fills. Four weeks from to- 



16 

morrow will end the dispute in our elections, and 
if old Adam is not beaten out of his hunting shirt 
my name isn't Crockett. 

While on the subject of election matters, I will 
just relate a little anecdote, about myself, which 
will show the people to the east, how we manage 
these things on the frontiers. It was when I first 
run for Congress; I was then in favour of the Hero, 
for he had chalked out his course so sleek in his 
letter to the Tennessee legislature, that, like Sam 
Patch, says I, " there can be no mistake in him," 
and so I went ahead. No one dreamt about the 
monster and the deposites at that time, and so, as 
I afterward fownd, many, like myself, were taken 
in by these fair promises, which were worth about 
as much as a flash in the pan when you have a fair 
shot at a fat bear. 

But I am losing sight of my story. — Well, I 
started off to the Cross Roads, dressed in my hunt- 
ing shirt, and my rifle on my shoulder. Many of 
our constituents had assembled there to get a taste 
of the quality of the candidates at orating. Job 
Snelling, a gander-shanked Yankee, who had been 
caught somewhere about Plymouth Bay, and been 
shipped to the west with a cargo of cod fish and 
rum, erected a large shantee, and set up shop for 
the occasion. A large posse of the voters had 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 17 

assembled before I arrived, and my opponent had 
already made considerable headway with his 
speechifying and his treating, when they spied me 
about a rifle shot from the camp, sauntering along 
as if I was not a party in the business. " There 
comes Crockett," cried one. " Let us hear the 
colonel," cried another, and so I mounted the 
stump that had been cut down for the occasion, 
and began to bushwhack in the most approved 
style. 

I had not been up long before there was such an 
uproar in the crowd that I could not hear my own 
voice, and some of my constituents let me know, 
that they could not listen to me on such a dry sub- 
ject as the welfare of the nation, until they had 
something to drink, and that I must treat 'em. 
Accordingly I jumped down from the rostrum, 
and led the way to the shantee, followed by my 
constituents, shouting, " Huzza for Crockett," and 
" Crockett for ever !" 

When we entered the shantee. Job was busy 
dealing out his rum in a style that showed he was 
making a good day's work of it, and I called for a 
quart of the best, but the crooked oritur returned 
no other answer than by pointing at a board over 
the bar, on which he had chalked in large letters, 
^'Pay to-day and trust to-morrow.''^ Now that 



18 

idea brought me all up standing ; it was a sort of 
cornering in which there was no back out, for 
ready money in the west, in those times, was the 
shyest thing in all natur, and it was most particu- 
larly shy with me on that occasion. 

The voters, seeing my predicament, fell oj0f to 
the other side, and I was left deserted and alone, 
as the Government will be, when he no longer has 
any offices to bestow. I saw, plain as day, that 
the tide of popular opinion was against me, and 
that, unless I, got some rum speedily, I should lose 
my election as sure as there are snakes in Virginny, 
— and it must be done soon, or even burnt brandy 
wouldn't save me. ~So I Walked away from the 
shantee, but in another guess sort from the way I 
entered it, for on this occasion I had no train -after 
me, and not a voice shouted ''Huzza for Crockett.'^ 
Popularity sometimes depends on a very small 
miatter indeed ; in this particular it was worth a 
quart of New England rum, and no more. 

Well, knowing that a crisis was at hand, I struck 
into the woods with my rifle on my shoulder, my 
best friend in time of need, and as good fortune 
would have it, I had not been out more than a 
quarter of an hour before I treed a fat coon, and in 
the pulling of a trigger he la)' dead at the root of 
the tree. I soon whipped his hairy jacket off his 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 19 

back, and again bent my way towards tlie shantee, 
and walked up to the bar, but not alone, for this 
time I had half a dozen of my constituents at my 
heels. I threw down the coon skin upon the 
counter, and called for a quart, and Job, though 
busy in dealing out rum, forgot to point at his 
chalked rules and regulations, for he knew that a 
coon was as good a legal tender for a quart, in the 
west, as a New York shilling, any day in the year. 
My constituents now flocked about me, and cried 
" Huzza for Crockett," " Crockett for ever," and 
finding that the tide had taken a turn, I told them 
several yarns, to get them in a good humour, and 
having soon despatched the value of the coon, I 
went out and mounted the stump, without opposi- 
tion, and a clear majority of the voters followed me 
to hear what I had to offer for the orood of the na- 
tion. Before I was half through, one of my con- 
stituents moved that they would hear the balance 
of my speech, after they had washed down the first 
part with some more of Job Snelling's extract of 
cornstalk and molasses, and the question being put, 
it was carried unanimously. It wasn't considered 
necessary to call the yeas and nays, so we adjourned 
to the shantee, and on the way I began to reckon 
that the fate of the nation pretty much depended 
upon my shooting another coon. 



20^ COLONEL Crockett's 

While standing at the bar, feeling sort of bashful 
while Job's rules and regulations stared me in the 
face, I cast down my eyes, and discovered one end 
of the coon skin sticking between the logs that 
supported the bar. Job had slung it there in the 
hurry of business. I gave it a sort of quick jerk, 
and it followed my hand as natural as if I had been 
the rightful qwner. I slapped it on the counter, 
and Job, little dreaming that he was barking up the 
wrong tree, shoved along another bottle, which my 
constituents quickly disposed of with great good 
humour, for some of them saw the trick, and then 
we withdrew to the rostrum to discuss the affairs 
of the nation. 

I don't know how it was, but the voters soon 
became dry again, and nothing would do, but we 
must adjourn to the shantee, and as luck would 
have it, the coon skin was still sticking between 
the logs, as if Job had flung it there on purpose to 
tempt me. I was not slow in raising it to the 
counter, the rum followed of course, and I wish I 
may be shot, if I didn't, before the day was over, 
get ten quarts for the same identical skin, and from 
a fellow too, who in those parts was considered as 
sharp as a steel trap, and as bright as a pewter 
button. 

This joke secured me my election, for it soon 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 21 

circulated like smoke among my constituents, and 
they allowed, j^vith one accord, that the man who 
could get the whip hand of Job Snelling in fair 
trade, could outwit Old Nick himself, and was the 
real grit for them in Congress. Job was by no 
means popular; he boasted of always bein^ wide 
awake, and that any one who could take him in 
was free to do so, for he came from a stock that 
sleeping or waking had always one* eye'open, and 
the other not more than half closed. The whole 
family were geniuses. His father was the inventor 
of wooden nutmegs, by which Job said he might 
have made a fortune, if he had only taken out a 
patent and kept the business in his own hands; his 
mother Patience manufactured the first white oak 
pumpkin seeds of the mammoth kind, and turned 
a pretty penny the first season; and his aunt Pru- 
dence was the first to discover that corn husks, 
steeped in tobacco water, would make as handsome 
Spanish wrappers as ever came from Havanna, and 
that oak leaves would answer all the purposes of 
filling, for no one would discover the difference 
except the man who smoked them, and then it 
would be too late to make a stir about it. Job 
himself bragged of having made some useful dis- 
coveries; the most profitable. of which was the art 
of converting mahogany sawdust into cayenne 



22 

pepper, which he said was a profitable and safe 
business; for the people have been so long ac- 
customed to having dust thrown in their eyes, 
that there wasn't much danger of being found out. 

The way I got to the blind side of the Yankee 
merchant was pretty generally known before the 
election day, and the result was, that my opponent 
might as well have whistled jigs to a milestone as 
attempt to beat up for votes in that district. I 
beat him out and out, quite back into the old year, 
and there was scarce enough left of him, after the 
canvass was over, to make a small grease spot. He 
disappeared without even leaving as much as a 
mark behind ; and such will be the fate of Adam 
Huntsman, if there is a fair fight and no gouging. 

After the election was over, I sent Snelling the 
price of the rum, but took good care to keep the 
fact from the knowledge of my constituents. Job 
reused the money, and sent me word, that it did 
him good to be taken in occasionally, as it served 
to brighten his ideas; but I afterwards learnt that 
when he found out the trick that had been played 
upon him, he put all the rum I had ordered in his 
bill against my opponent, who, beii^g elated with 
the speeches he had made on the afiairs of the na- 
tion, could not descend to examine into the particu- 
lars of the bill of a vender of rum in the small way. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 23 



CHAPTER II. 

August 11,1835. I AM now at home in Weakley 
county. My canvass is over, and the result is 
known. Contrary to all expectation, I am beaten 
two hundred and thirty votes, from the best infor- 
matioruj can get ; and in this instance, I may say, 
bad is the best. My mantle has fallen upon the 
shoulders of Adam, and I hope he may wear it 
with becoming dignity, and never lose sight of the 
welfare of the nation, for the purpose of elevating 
a few designing politicians to the head of the heap. 
The rotten policy pursued by " the Government" 
cannot last long; it will either work its own down- 
fall, or the downfall of the republic, soon, unless 
the people tear the seal from their eyes, and behold 
their danger time enough to avert the ruin. 

I wish to inform the people of these United 
States what I had to contend against, trusting that 
the expose I shall make will be a caution to the 
people not to repose too much power in the hands 
of a single man, though he should be " the greatest 
and the best." — I had, as I have already said, Mr. 



24 

Adam Huntsman for my competitor, aided by the 
popularity of both Andrew Jackson and governor 
Carroll and the whole strength of the Union Bank 
at Jackson. I have been told by good men, that 
some of the managers of the bank on the days of 
the election were heard say, that they would give 
twenty-five dollars a vote for votes enough to elect 
Mr. Huntsman. This is a pretty good price for a 
vote, and in ordinary times a round dozen might 
be got for the money. 

I have always believed, since Jackson removed 
the deposites, that his whole object was to place 
the treasury where he could use it to influence 
elections; and I do believe he is determined to 
sacrifice every dollar of the treasury to make the 
Little Flying Dutchman his successor. If this is 
not my creed I wish I may be shot. For fourteen 
years since I have been a candidate I never saw 
such means used to defeat any candidate, as were 
put in practice against me on this occasion. There 
was a disciplined band of judges and officers to 
hold the elections at almost every poll. Of late 
years they begin to find out that there's an advan- 
tage in this, even in the west. Some officers held 
the election, and at the same time had nearly all 
they were worth bet on the election. Such judges 
I should take it are like the handle of a jug, all on 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 25 

one side; and I am told it doesnH require much 
schooling to make the tally list correspond to a 
notch with the ballot box, provided they who make 
up the returns have enough loose tickets in their 
breeches pockets. I have no doubt that I was 
completely rascalled out of my election, and I do 
regret that duty to myself and to my country 
compels me to expose such villany. 

Well might Governor Poindexter exclaim — 
" Ah ! my country, what degradation thou hast 
fallen into !" Andrew Jackson was, during my 
election canvass, franking the extra Globe with a 
prospectus in it to every post oiBce in this district, 
and upon one occasion he had my mileage and pay 
as a member drawn up and sent to this district, to 
one of his minions, to have it published just a few 
days before the election. This is what I call small 
potatoes and few of a hilK He stated that I had 
charged mileage for one thousand miles and that 
it was but seven hundred and fifty miles, and held 
out the idea that I had taken pay for the same 
mileage that INIr. Fitzgerald had taken, when it 
was well known that he charged thirteen hundred 
miles from here to Washington, and he and myself 
both live in the same county. It is somewhat 
remarkable how this fact should have escaped the 
keen eye of " the Government." 
3 



26 COLONEL CHOCKETT'S 

The General's pet, Mr. Grundy, charged for one 
thousand miles from Nashville to Washington, and 
it was sanctioned by the legislature, I suppose be- 
cause he would huzza! for Jackson ; and because I 
think proper to refrain from huzzaing until he goes 
out of office, when I shall give a screamer, that will 
be heard from the Mississippi to the Atlantic, or 
my name's not Crockett — for this reason he came 
out openly to electioneer against me. I now say, 
that the oldest man living never heard of the Pre- 
sident of a great nation to come down to open elec- 
tioneering for his successor. It is treating the 
nation as if it was the^roperty of a single indivi- 
dual, and he had the right to bequeath it to whom 
he pleased — the same as a patch of land for which 
he had the patent. It is plain to be seeA that the 
poor superannuated old man is surrounded by a set 
of horse leeches, who will stick to him while there 
is a drop of blood to be got, and their maws are so 
capacious that they will never get full enough to 
drop off. The Land office, the Post office, and the 
Treasury itself, may all be drained, and we shall 
still find them craving for more. They use him to 
promote their own private interest, and for all his 
sharp sight, he, remains as blind as a dead lion to 
the jackals who are tearing him to pieces. In fact, 
I do believe he is a perfect tool in their hands, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 27 

ready to be used to answer any purpose to promote 
either their interest or gratify their ambition. 

I come within two hundred and thirty votes of 
being elected, notwithstanding I had to contend 
against "the greatest and the best," with the whole 
power of the Treasury against me. The Little 
Flying Dutchman will no doubt calculate upon 
having a true game cock in Mr. Huntsman, but if 
he doesn't show them the White feather before the 
first session is over, I agree never to be set down 
for a prophet, that's all. I am gratified that I 
have spoken the truth to the people of my district 
regardless of consequences. I would not be 
compelled to bow down to the idol for a seat in 
Congress during life. I have never known what 
it was to sacrifice my own judgment to gratify 
any party, and I have no doubt of the time being 
close at hand when I will be rewarded for letting 
my tongue speak what my heart thinks. I have 
sufiered myself to be politically sacrificed to save 
my country from ruin and disgrace, and if I am" 
never again elected, I will have the gratification to 
know that I have done my duty. — Thus much I 
say in relation to the manner in which my down- 
fall was effected, and in laying it before the public, 
"I take the responsibility." I may add in the 
words of the man in the play, " Crockett's occupa- 
tion's gone." 



28 COLONEL Crockett's 

Two weeks and more have elapsed since I wrote 
the foregoing account of my defeat, and I confess 
the thorn still rankles, not so much on my own 
account as the nation's, for I had set my heart on 
following up the travelling deposites until they 
should be fairly gathered to their proper nest, 
like young chickens, for I am aware of the vermin 
that are on the constant look-out to pounce upon 
them, like a cock at a blackberry, which they would 
have done long since, if it had not been for a few 
such men as Webster, Clay, and myself. It is my 
parting advice, that this matter be attended to with- 
out delay, for before long the little chickens will 
take wing, and even the powerful wand of the 
magician of Kinderhook will be unable to point 
out the course they have flown. 

As my country no longer requires my services, 
I have made up my mind to go to Texas. My 
life has been one of danger, toil, and privation, but 
these difficulties I had to encounter at a time when 
I considered it nothing more than right good sport 
to surmount them ; but now I start anew upon my 
own hook, and God only grant that "it may be 
strong enough to support the weight that may be 
hung upon it. I have a new row to hoe, a long 
and a rough one, but come what will I'll go ahead. 

A few days ago I went to a meeting of my con- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 29 

stituents. My appetite for politics was at one time 
just about as sharp set as a saw mill, but late events 
has given me something of a surfeit, — more than 1 
could well digest ; still habit they say is second 
natur, and so I went, and gave them a jTicce of my 
mind touching "the Government" and the succes- 
sion, by way of a codicil to what I have often said 
before. 

I told them to keep a sharp look-out for the de- 
posites, for it requires an eye as insinuating as a 
dissecting knife to see what safety there is in 
placing one million of the public funds in some 
little country shaving shop with no more than one ' 
hundred thousand dollars capital. This bank, we 
will just suppose, without being too particular, is 
in the neighbourhood of some of the public lands, 
where speculators, who have every thing to gain 
and nothing to lose, swarm like crows about car- 
rion. They buy the United States' land upon a 
large scale, get discounts from the aforesaid shaving 
shop, which are made upon a large scale also, upon 
the United States' funds ; they pay the whole pur- 
chase money with these discounts, and get a clear 
title to the land, so that when the sffaving shop 
comes to make a Flemish account of her transac- 
tions, " the Government" will discover that he has 
not only lost the original depositc, but a large body 
3* 



30 

of the public lands to boot. So much for taking 
the responsibility. 

I told them that they were hurrying along a 
broad M'Adamized road to make the Little Flying 
Dutchman the successor, but they would no sooner 
accomplish that end, than they would be obliged to 
buckle to, and drag the Juggernaut through many 
narrow and winding and out-of-the-way paths, and 
hub deep in the mire. That they reminded me 
of the Hibernian, who bet a glass of grog with a 
hod carrier, that he could not carry him in his hod 
up a ladder to the third story of a new building. 
He seated himself in the hod, and the other mount- 
ed the ladder with his load upon his shoulder. 
He ascended to the second story pretty steadily, 
but as he approached the third his strength failed 
him, he began to totter, and Pat was so delighted 
at the prospect of winning his bet, that he clapped 
his hands and shouted, " By the powers the grog's 
mine," and he made such a stir in the hod, that I 
wish I may be shot if he didn't win it, but he 
broke his neck in the fall. And so I told my con- 
stituents that they might possibly gain the victory, 
but in doing^o, they would ruin their country. 

I told them moreover of my services, pretty 
straight up and down, for a man may be allowed 
to speak on such subjects when otliers are about to 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 31 

forget them ; and I also told them of the manner 
in which I had been knocked down and dragged 
out, and that I did not consider it a fair fight any 
how they could fix it. I put the ingredients in 
the cup pretty strong I tell you, and I concluded 
my speech by telling them that 1 was done with 
politics for the present, and that they might all go 
to hell, and I would go to Texas. 

When I returned home I felt a sort of cast 
down at the change that had taken place in my 
fortunes, and sorrow, it is said, will make even an 
oyster feel poetical. I never tried my hand at that 
sort of writing, but on this particular occasion such 
was my state of feeling, that I began to fancy my- 
self inspired ; so I took pen in hand, and as usual I 
w^ent ahead. When I had got fairly through, my 
poetry looked as zigzag as a worm fence ; the lines 
wouldn't tally, no how ; so I showed them to Peleg 
Longfellow, who has a first-rate reputation with us 
for that sort of writing, having some years ago 
made a carrier's address for the Nashville Banner, 
and Peleg lopped off some lines, and stretched out 
others ; but I wish I may be shot if I don't rather 
think he has made it worse than it was when I 
placed it in his hands. It being my first, and no 
doubt last piece of poetry, I will print it in this 
place, as it will serve to express my feelings on 



33 COLONEL Crockett's 

leaving my home, my neighbours, and friends and 
country, for a strange land, as fully as I could in 
plain prose. 

Farewell to the mountains whose mazes to me 
Were more beautiful far than Eden could be ; 
• No fruit was forbidden, but Nature had spread 
Her bountiful board, and her children were fed. 
The hills were our garners — our herds wildly grew, 
And Nature was shepherd and husbandman too. 
I felt like a monarch, yet thought like d man. 
As I thank'd the Great Giver, and worshipp'd his plan. 

The home I forsake where my offspring arose : 

The graves I forsake where my children repose. 

The home I redeem'd from the savage and wild ; 

The home I have loved as a father his child ; 

The corn that I planted, the fields that I clear'd, 

The flocks that I raised, and the cabin I rear'd ; ♦ 

The wife of my bosom — Farewell to ye all ! 

In the land of the stranger I rise — or I fall. 

Farewell to my country ! — I fought for thee well, 

"When the savage rush'd forth like the demons from hell. 

In peace or in war I have stood by thy side — 

My country, for thee I have lived — would have died ! 

But I am cast off — my career now is run. 

And I wander abroad like the prodigal son — 

Where the wild savage roves, and the broad prairies 

spread, 
The fallen — despised — will again go ahead ! 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 33 



CHAPTER III. 

In my last chapter I made mention of my deter- 
mination to cut and quit the States until such time 
as honest and independent men should again work 
their way to the head of the heap ; and as I should 
probably have some idle time on hand before that 
state of affairs shall be brought about, I promised 
to give the Texians a helping hand, on the high 
road to freedom. — Well, I was always fond of hav- 
ing my spoon in a mess of that kind, for if there is 
any thing in this world particularly worth living 
for, it is freedom ; any thing that would render 
death to a brave man particularly pleasant, it is 
freedom. 

I am now on my journey, and have already 
tortled along as far as Little Rock on the Arkansas, 
about one hundred and twenty-five miles from the 
mouth. I had promised to write another book, 
expecting, when I made that promise, to write about 
politics, and use up " the Government," his suc- 
cessor, the removal of the deposites, and so on, 
matters and things that come as natural to me as 



34 COLONEL Crockett's 

bear hunting ; but being rascalled out of my elec- 
tion, I am taken all aback, and I must now strike 
into a new path altogether. Still I will redeem my 
promise, and make a book, and it shall be about 
my adventures in Texas, hoping that my friends, 
Messrs. Webster and Clay and Biddle, will keep a 
sharp look-out upon " the Government'^ during 
my absence. — I am told that every author of 
distinction writes a book of travels now-a-days. 

My thermometer stood so»mewhat below the 
freezing point as I left my wife and children ; still 
there was some thawing about the eyelids, a thing 
that had not taken place since I first ran away from 
my father's house when a thoughtless vagabond 
boy. I dressed myself in a clean hunting shirt, 
put on a new fox skin cap with the tail hanging 
behind, took hold of my rifle Betsey, which all the 
w^orld knows was presented to me by the patriotic 
citizens of Philadelphia, as a compliment for my 
unflinching opposition to the tyrannic measures of 
" the Government," and thus equipped I started off, 
with a heavy heart, for Mill's Point, to take steam- 
boat down the Mississippi, and go ahead in a new 
world. 

While walking along, and thinking whether it 
was altogether the right grit to leave my poor 
country at a time she most needed my services, I 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 35 

came to a clearing, and I was slowly rising a slope, 
when I was startled by loud, profane, and boiste- 
rous voices, (as loud and profane as have been heard 
in the White House of late years,) which seemed 
to proceed from jf thick covert of undergrowth, 
about two hundred yards in advance of me, and 
about one hundred to the right of my road. 

" You kin, kin you ?" 

" Yes, I kin, and am able to do it ! Boo-oo-oo ! — 
0! wake snakes, and walk your chalks! Brim- 
stone and fire! Don't hold me, Nick Stoval! 

The fight's made up, and let's go at it. my 

soul if I don't jump down his throat and gallop 
every chitterling out of him, before you can say 
*quit!'" 

" Now, Nick, don't hold him ! Jist let the wild 
cat come, and I'll tame him. Ned '11 see me a 
fair fight — won't you, Ned ?" 

**0 ! yes, I'll see you a fair fight; blast my old 
shoes if I don't." 

" That's sufficient, as Tom Haynes said, when 
hcL saw the elephant. Now let him come." 

Thus they went on, w^ith countless oaths inter- 
spersed, which I dare not even hint at, and w^ith 
much that I could not distinctly hear. 

In mercy's name ! thought I, what a band of 
ruffians is at work here. I quickened my gait, and 



36 COLONEL Crockett's 

had come nearly opposite to the thick grove 
whence the noise proceeded, when my eye caught 
indistinctly, through the foliage of the dwarf oaks 
and hickories that intervened, glimpses of a man 
or men, who seemed to be in *& violent struggle ; 
and I could occasionally catch those deep drawn 
emphatic oaths, which men in conflict utter, when 
they deal blows. I hurried to the spot, but before 
I reached it, I saw the combatants come to the 
ground, and after a short struggle, I saw the upper- 
most one (for I could not see the other) make 
a heavy plunge with both his thumbs, and at the 
same instant I heard a cry in the accent of keenest 
torture, "Enough ! my eye is out !" 

I stood completely horror-struck for a moment. 
The accomplices in the brutal deed had all fled at* 
my approach, at least I supposed so, for they were 
not to be seen. 

"Now blast your corn-shucking soul," said the 
victor, a lad about eighteen, as he rose from the 
ground, " come cutt'n your shines 'bout me agin, 
next time I come to the Court House, will you! — 
Get your owl-eye in agin if you can." 

At this moment he saw me for the first time. 
He looked as though he couldn't help it, and was 
for making himself particularly scarce, when I 
called to him, " Come back, you brute, and assist me 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 37 

ill relieving the poor oritur you have ruined for 
ever." 

Upon this rough salutation, he sort of collected 
himself, and with a taunting curl of the nose he 
replied, " You needn't kick before you're spurr'd. 
Tliere an't nobody there, nor han't been pother. 
I was jist seein' how I could a' fout." So saying 
he bounded to his plough, which stood in the cor- 
ner of the fence about fifty yards from the battle 
ground. 

Now would any man in his senses believe that 
a rational being could make such a darned fool of 
himself? but I wish I may be shot, if his report 
was not as true as the last Post office report, every 
word, and a little more satisfactory. All that I 
had heard and seen was nothing more nor less than 
what is called a rehearsal of a knock-down and 
drag-out fight, in which the young man had 
played all the parts for his own amusement, and 
by way of keeping his hand in. I went to the 
ground from which he had risen, and there was the 
prints of his two thumbs, plunged up to the balls 
in the mellow earth, about the distance of a man's 
eyes apart, and the ground around was broken up, 
as if two stags had been engaged upon it. 

As I resumed my journey I laughed outright at 
this adventure; for it reminded me of Andrew 
4 



38 COLONEL Crockett's 

Jackson's attack upon the United States Bank. 
He had magnified it into a monster, and then be- 
gun to rip and tear and swear and gouge, until he 
thought he had the monster on its back; and when 
the fight was over, and he got up to look about for 
his enemy, he could find none for the soul of him, 
for his enemy was altogether in his heated imagi- 
nation. These fighting characters are never at 
peace, unless they have something to quarrel with, 
and rather than have no fight at all they will 
trample on their own shadows. 

The day I arrived at Little Rock, I no sooner 
quit the steamer than I streaked it straight ahead 
for the principal tavern, which is nothing to boast 
of, nohow, unless a man happens to be like the 
member of Congress from the south, who was con- 
verted to Jacksonism, and then made a speech as 
long as the longitude about his political honesty. 
Some, men it seems, take a pride in saying a great 
deal about nothing — like windmills, their tongues 
must be going whether they have any grist to grind 
or not. This is all very well in Congress, where 
every member is expected to make a speech to let 
his constituents know that some things can be done 
as well as others ; but I set it down as being rather 
an imposition upon good nature to be compelled to 
listen, without receiving the consideration of eight 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 39 

dollars per clay, besides mileage, as we do in Con- 
gress. Many members will do nothing else for 
their pay but listen, day in and day out, and I wish 
I may be shot, if they do not earn every penny of 
it, provided they don't sleep, and Benton or little 
Isaac Hill will spin their yarns but once in a week. 
No man who has not tried it can imagine what 
dreadful hard work it is to listen. Splitting gum 
logs in the dog days is child's play to it. I've 
tried both, and give the preference to the gum 
logs. 

Well, as I said, I made straight for the tavern, 
and as I drew nigh, I saw a considerable crowd 
assembled before the door. So, thought I, they 
have heard that Colonel Crockett intended to pay 
a visit to their settlement, and they have already 
got together to receive him in due form. I confess 
I felt a little elated at the idea, and commenced ran- 
sacking the lumber room of my brain, to find some 
one of my speeches that I might furbish up for the 
occasion; and then I shouldered my Betsey, straight- 
ened myself, and walked up to the door, charged 
to the muzzle, and ready to let fly. 

But strange as it may seem, no one took any 
more notice of me, than if I had been Martin Van 
Buren, or Dick Johnson, the celebrated wool grower. 
This took me somewhat aback, and I inquired what 



40 COLONEL eROCKETT's 

was the meaning of the gathering; and I learnt that 
a travelling showman had just arrived, and was 
about to exhibit for the first time the wonderful 
feats of Harlequin, and Punch and Judy, to the 
impatient natives. It was drawing towards night- 
fall, and expectation was on tiptoe ; the children 
were clinging to their mother's aprons, with their 
chubby faces dimpled with delight, and asking 
"What is it like ? when will it begin ?" and similar 
questions, while the women, as all good wives are 
in duty bound to do, appealed to their husbands 
for information; but the call for information was 
not responded to in this instance, as is sometimes 
the case in Congress ; — their husbands understood 
the matter about as well as " the Government" did 
the Post office accounts. 

The showman at length made his appearance, 
with a countenance as wo-begone as that of " the 
Government'^ when he found his batch of dirty 
nominations rejected by the Senate, and mentioned 
the impossibility that any performance should take 
place that evening, as the lame fiddler had over- 
charged his head, and having but one leg at best, it 
did not require much to destroy his equilibrium. 
And as all the world knows, a puppet show with- 
out a fiddle is like roast pork and no apple sauce. 
This piece of intelligence was received with a gene- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 41 

ralmurmurofdissatisfaction; and such was the indig- 
nation of his majesty, the sovereign people, at being 
thwarted in his rational amusements, that, accord- 
ing to the established custom in such cases made 
and provided, there were some symptoms of a dis- 
position to kick up a row, break the show, and 
finish the amusements of the day by putting Lynch's 
law in firactice upon the poor showman. There is 
nothing like upholding the dignity of the people, 
and so Lieut. Randolph thought, when with his 
cowardly and sacrilegious hand he dared to profane 
the anointed nose of " the Government," and 
bring the whole nation into contempt. If I had 
been present, may disgrace follow my career in 
Texas, if I wouldn't have become a whole hog 
Jackson man upon the spot, for the time being, for 
the nose of " the Government" should be held 
more sacred than any other member, that it may 
be kept in good order to smell out all the corrup- 
tion that is going forward — not a very pleasant 
office, and by no means a sinecure. 

The indignant people, as I have already said, 
were about to exercise their reserved rights upon 
the unlucky showman, and Punch and Judy too, 
when, as good fortune would have it, an old gen- 
tleman drove up to the tavern door in a sulky, 
with a box of books and pamphlets of his own 
4* 



42 . COLONEL Crockett's 

composition — (for he was an author like myself) — 
thus being able to vouch for the moral tendency of 
every page he disposed of. Very few booksellers 
can do the same, I take it. His linen and flannels, 
which he had washed in the brooks by the way- 
side, were hanging over the back of the crazy 
vehicle to dry, while his own snufiy countenance 
had long bid defiance to sun, wind, and water to 
bleach it. 

His jaded beast stopped instinctively upon seeing 
a crowd, while the old man remained seated for 
some moments before he could recall his thoughts 
from the world of imagination, where they were 
gleaning for the benefit of mankind. He looked, 
it must be confessed, more like a lunatic than a 
moral lecturer; but being conscious of his own rec- 
titude, he could not conceive how his outward 
Adam could make him ridiculous in the eyes 
of another ; but a fair outside is every thing to the 
world. The tulip flower is highly prized, although 
indebted for its beauty to the corruption engendered 
at the rooi : and so it is with man. 

We occasionally meet with one possessing suffi- 
cient philosophy to look upon life as a pilgrimage, 
and not as a mere round of pleasure : who, treating 
this world as a place of probation, is ready to en- 
counter sufiering, and not expecting the sunshine 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 43 

of prosperity, escapes being overclouded by dis- 
appointment. Such is the character of the old 
preacher, whose ridiculous appearance in the eyes 
of the thoughtless and ignorant is only exceeded 
by the respect, and veneration of those who are 
capable of estimating his real worth. I learnt that 
he was educated for the church, but not being able 
to obtain a living, he looked upon the whole earth 
as his altar, and all mankind as his flock. He was 
penniless, and therefore had no predilection for 
this or that section of the globe, for wherever he 
might be, his journey of probation still continued, 
and in every spot he found that human nature was 
the same. His life was literally that of apilgrim. He 
was an isolated being, though his heart overflowed 
with the milk of human kindness ; for being indis- 
criminate in his affection, very few valued it. He 
who commences the world with a general love for 
mankind, and suffers his feelings to dictate to his 
reason, runs a great hazard of reaping a plentiful 
harvest of ingratitude, and of closing a tedious ex- 
istence in misanthropy. • But it was not so with 
the aged preacher. 

Being unable to earn his bread as an itinerant 
lecturer, — for in those cases it is mostly poor preach 
and worse pay — he turned author, and wrote histo- 
ries which contained but little information, and 



44 

sermons which, like many others, had nothing to 
boast of, bej^ond being strictly orthodox. He suc- 
ceeded in obtaining a sulky, and a horse to drag itj 
by a plea of mercy, which deprived the hounds of 
their food, and with these he travelled over the 
western states, to dispose of the product of his 
brain ; and when poverty was deprived of the 
benefit of his labour, in the benevolence of his 
heart he would deliver a moral lecture, which had 
the usual weight of homilies on this subject. A 
lecture is the cheapest thing that a man can bestow 
in charity, and many of our universal philanthro- 
pists have made the discovery. 

The landlord now made his appearance, and gave 
a hearty welcome to the reverend traveller, and 
shaking him by the hand, added, that he never 
came more opportunely in all his life. 

*^ Opportunely !" exclaimed the philosopher. 

"Yes," rejoined the other ; "you have a heart 
and head that labour for the benefit of us poor 
mortals." 

" ! true, an excellent market for my pam- 
phlets," replied the other, at the same time begin- 
ning to open the trunk that lay before him. 

"You misunderstand me," added the landlord. 
"A poor showman, with a sick wife and five 
children, has arrived from New Orleans " 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 45 

"I will sell my pamphlets to relieve their wants, 
and endeavour to teach them resignation." 

" He exhibits to-night in my large room : you 
know the room, sir — I let him have it gratis." 

" You are an honest fellow. I will witness his 
show, and add my mite to his assistance." 

" But," replied the innkeeper, '^ the lame fiddler 
is fond of the bottle, and is now snoring in the 
hayloft." 

" Degrading vice !" exclaimed the old man, and 
taking " God's Revenge against Drunkenness" 
from the trunk, and standing erect in the sulky, 
commenced reading to his astonished audience. 
The innkeeper interrupted him by observing that 
the homily would not fill the empty purse of the 
poor showman, and unless a fiddler could be ob- 
tained, he must depend on charity, or go supperless 
to bed. And moreover, the people, irritated at 
their disappointment, had threatened to tear the 
show to pieces. 

" But what's to be done ?" demanded the parson. 

" Your reverence shakes an excellent bow," 
added the innkeeper, in an insinuating tone. 

"I !" exclaimed the parson ; "I fiddle for a 
puppet show !" 

" Not for the puppet show, but for the sick wife 
and five hungry children." 



46 

A tear started into the eyes of the old man, as 
he added in an undertone, " If I could be concealed 
from the audience " 

" Nothing easier,'' cried the other ; " we will 
place you behind the scenes, and no one will ever 
dream that you fiddled at a puppet show." 

The matter being thus settled, they entered the 
house, and shortly afterward the sound of a fiddle 
squeaking like a giggling girl, tickled into ecstacies, 
restored mirth and good humour to the disappoint- 
ed assemblage, who rushed in, helter-skelter, to 
enjoy the exhibition. 

All being seated, and silence restored, they 
waited in breathless expectation for the rising of 
the curtain. At length Harlequin made his ap- 
pearance, and performed astonishing feats of activity 
on the slack rope ; turning somersets backward 
and forward, first on this side, and then on that, 
with as much ease as if he had been a politician all 
his life, — the parson sawing vigorously on his 
fiddle all the time. Punch followed, and set the 
audience in a roar with his antic tricks and jests ; 
but when Judy entered with her broomstick, the 
burst of applause was as great as ever I heard be;^ 
stowed upon one of Benton's slang-whang speeches 
in Congress, and I rather think quite as well 
merited. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 47 

As the plot thickened, the music of the parson 
became more animated ; but unluckily in the warmth 
of his zeal to do justice to his station, his elbow 
touched the side scene, which fell to the floor, and 
exposed him, working away in all the ecstacies of 
little Isaac Hill, while reading one of his long ora- 
tions about things in general to empty benches. 
No ways disconcerted by the accident, the parson 
seized upon it as a fine opportunity of conveying 
a lesson to those around him, at the same time that 
he might benefit a fellow mortal. He immediately 
mounted the chair upon which he was seated, and 
addressed the audience to the following effect : — 

" Many of you have come here for amusement, 
and others no doubt to assist the poor man, who is 
thus struggling to obtain a subsistence for his sick 
wife and children. — Lo ! the moral of a puppet 
show ! — But is this all ; has he not rendered unto 
you your money's worth ? This is not charity. 
If you are charitably inclined, here is an object 
fully deserving of it." He preached upon this text 
for full half an hour, and concluded with taking 
his hat to collect assistance from his hearers for 
the friencHess showman and his family. 

The next morning, when his sulky was brought 
to the door, the showman and his wife came out 



48 

to thank their benefactor. The old man placed 
his trunk of pamphlets before him. and proceed- 
ed on his pilgrimage, the little children follow- 
ing him through the village with bursts of grati- 
tude. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 49 



CHAPTER IV. 

The public mind having been quieted by the 
exhibition of the puppet show, and allowed to re- 
turn to its usual channel, it was not long before the 
good people of Little Rock began to inquire what 
distinguished stranger had come among them ; and 
learning that it was neither more nor less than the 
identical Colonel Crockett, the champion of the 
fugitive deposites, than straight they went ahead 
at getting up another tempest in a teapot ; and I 
wish I may be shot, if I wasn't looked upon as 
almost as great a sight as Punch and Judy. 

Nothing, would answer but I must accept of an 
invitation to a public dinner. Now as public din- 
ners have become so common, that it is enough to 
take away the appetite of any man, who has a pro- 
per sense of his own importance, to sit down and 
play his part in the humbug business, I had made 
up my mind to write a letter declining the honour, 
expressing my regret, and winding up with a 
flourish of trumpets about the patriotism of the 
citizens of Little Rock, and all that sort of thing, 
5 



50 COLONEL Crockett's 

when the landlord came in, and says he, " Colonel, 
just oblige me by stepping into the back yard a 
moment.'^ 

I followed the landlord in silence, twisting and 
turning over in my brain, all the while, what I 
should say in my letter to the patriotic citizens of 
Little Rock, who were bent on eating a dinner for 
the good of their country } when he conducted me 
to a shed in the yard, where I beheld, hanging up, 
a fine fat cub bear, several haunches of venison, a 
wild turkey as big as a young ostrich, and small 
game too tedious to mention. " Well, Colonel, 
what do you think of my larder?'^ says he. "Fine'/'^ 
says I ; " let us liquor.'' We walked back to the 
bar, I took a- horn, and without loss of time I wrote 
to the committee, that I accepted of the invitation 
to a public dinner with pleasure, — that I w^ould 
always be found ready to serve my country either 
by eating or fasting ; and that the honour the pa- 
triotic citizens of Little Rock had conferred upon 
me rendered it the proudest moment of my event- 
ful life. The chairman of the committee was 
standing by while I wrote the letter, which I 
handed to him ; and so this important business 
was soon settled. 

As there was considerable time to be killed, or 
got rid of in some way, before the dinner could 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 51 

be cooked, it was proposed that we should go be- 
yond the village, and shoot at a mark, for they had 
heard that I was_a first-rate shot, and they wanted 
to see for themselves whether fame had not blown 
her trumpet a little too strong in my favour ; for 
since she had represented " the Government'' as 
being a first-rate statesman, and Colonel Benton as 
a first-rate orator, they could not receive such re- 
ports without proper allowance, as Congress thought 
of the Post office report. 

Well, I shouldered my Betsey, and she is just 
about as beautiful a piece as ever came out of Phila- 
delphia, and I went out to the shooting ground, 
followed by all the leading men in Little Rock, 
and that was a clear majority of the town, for it is 
remarkable that there are always more leading 
men in small villages than there are followers. 

I was in prime order. My eye was as keen as 
a lizard, and my nerves were as steady and un- 
shaken as the political course of Henry Clay; so at 
it we went, the distance one hundred yards. The 
principal marksmen, and such as had never been 
beat, led the way, and there was some pretty fair 
shooting, I tell you. At length it came to my turn. 
I squared myself, raised my beautiful Betsey to my 
shoulder, took deliberate aim, and smack I sent the 
bullet right into the centre of the bull's eye. 



52 

" There's no mistake in Betsey," said I, in a sort' 
of careless way, as they were all looking at the 
target, sort of amazed, and not at all over pleased. 

" That's a chance shot. Colonel," said one who 
had the reputation of being the best marksman in 
those parts. 

"Not as much chance as there was," said I, 
" when Dick Johnson took his darkie for better 
for worse. I can do it five times out of six any 
day in the week." This I said in as confident a 
tone as " the Government" did when he protested 
that he forgave Colonel Benton for shooting him, 
and he was now the best friend he had in the 
world. I knew it was not altogether as correct as 
it might be, but when a man sets about going the^ 
big figure, halfway measures won't answer no how; 
and " the greatest and the best" had set me the 
example, that swaggering will answer a good pur- 
pose at times. 

They now proposed that we should have a second 
trial ; but knowing that I had nothing to gain, and 
every thing to lose, I was for backing out and 
fighting shy; but there was no let-ofi", for the cock 
of the village, though whipped, determined not to 
stay whipped ; so to it again we went. They were 
now put upon their mettle, and they fired much 
better than the first time ; and it was what might 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 53 

be called pretty sharp shooting. When it came to 
my turn, I squared myself, and turning to the 
prime sliot, I gave him a knowing nod, by way of 
showing my confidence ; and says I, " Look-out for 
the bull's eye, stranger." I blazed away, and I 
wish I may be shot if I didn't .miss the target. 
They examined it all over, and could find neither 
hair nor hide of my bullet, and pronounced it a 
dead miss ; when says I, " Stand aside and let me 
look, and I war'nt you I get on^he right trail of 
the critter." They stood aside, and I examined 
the bull's eye pretty particular, and at length cried 
out, " Here it is ; there is no snakes if it ha'n't 
followed the very track of the other." They said 
it was utterly impossible, but I insisted on their 
searching the hole, and I agreed to be stuck up as 
a mark myself, if they did not find two bullets 
there. They searched for my satisfaction, and sure 
enough it all came out just as I had told them ; for 
I had picked up a bullet that had been fired, and 
stuck it deep into the hole, without any one per- 
ceiving it. They were all perfectly satisfied, that 
fame had not made too great a flourish of trumpets 
when speaking of me as a marksman ; and they all 
said they had enough of shooting for that day, and 
they moved, that we adjourn to the tavern and 

liquor. 

5* 



54* COLONEL CROCKETT^S 

We had scarcely taken drinks round before the 
landlord announced that dinner was ready, and I 
was escorted into the dining room by the com- 
mittee, to the tune of " See the conquering hero 
comes," played upon a drum, which had been 
beaten until it got a fit of the sullens, and refused to 
send forth any sound ; and it was accompanied by 
the weasing of a fife that was sadly troubled with 
a spell of the asthma. I was escorted into the 
dining room, I say*, somewhat after the same fashion 
that "^the Government" was escorted into the dif- 
ferent cities when he made his northern tour ; the 
only difiference was, that I had no sycophants about 
me, but true hearted hospitable friends, for it was 
pretty well known that I had, for the present, aban- 
doned all intention of running for the Presidency 
against the Little Flying Dutchman. 

The dinner was first-rate. The bear meat, the 
venison, and wild turkey would have tempted a 
man who had given over the business of eating 
altogether ; and every thing was cooked to the 
notch precisely. The enterprising landlord did 
himself immortal honour on this momentous occa- 
sion ; and the committee, thinking that he merited 
public thanks for his patriotic services, handed his 
name to posterity to look at in the lasting columns 
of the Little Rock Gazette ; and when our child- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 55 

ren's children behold it, they will think of the 
pure patriots who sat down in good fellowship to 
feast on the bear meat and venison ; and the enthu- 
siasm the occasion is calculated to awaken will ^ 
induce them to bless the patriot who, in a cause so 
glorious, spared no pains in cooking the dinner, 
and serving it in a becoming manner. — And this 
is fame ! 

The fragments of the meats being cleared off, 
we went through the customary evolution of drink- 
ing thirteen regular toasts, after every one of which 
our drum with the loose skin grumbled like an old 
horse with an empty stomach ; and our asthmatic 
fife squeaked like a stuck pig, a spirit-stirring tune, 
which we put off christening until we should come 
to prepare our proceedings for posterity. The fife 
appeared to have but one tune in it; possibly it 
mought have had more, but the poor fifer, with all 
his puffiing and blowing, his too-too-tooing, and 
shaking his head and elbow, could not, for the body 
and soul of him, get more than one out of it. If 
the fife had had an extra tune to its name, sartin it 
wouldn't have been quite so hide bound on such 
an occasion, but have let us have it, good, bad, or 
indifferent. We warn't particular by no means. 

Having gone through with the regular toasts, 
the president of the day drank, " Our distinguished 



56 

guest, Col. Crockett/' which called forth a prodi- 
gious clattering all around the table, and I soon 
saw that nothing would do, but I must get up and 
.^make them a speech. I had no sooner elongated 
my outward Adam, than they at it again, with re- 
newed vigour, which made me sort of feel that I 
was still somebody, though no longer a member 
of Congress. 

In my sjDcech I went over the whole history of 
the present administration ; took a long shot at the 
flying deposites, and gave an outline, a sort of 
charcoal sketch, of the political life of " the Govern- 
ment's" heir presumptive. I also let them know 
how I had been rascalled out of my election, be- 
cause I refused to bow down to the idol ; and as I 
saw a number of young politicians around the table, 
I told them, that I would lay down a few rules for 
their guidance, which, if properly attended to, could 
not fail to lead them on the highway to distinction 
and public honour. I told them, that I was an old 
hand at the business, and as I was about to retire 
for a time, I would give them a little instruction 
gratis, for I was up to all the tricks of the trade, 
though I had practised but few. 

"Attend all public meetings," says I, "and get 
some friend to move that you take the chair ; if 
you fail in this attempt, make a push to be appoint- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 57 

ed secretary ; the proceedings of course will be 
published, and your name is introduced to the 
public. But should you fail i%both undertakings, 
get two or three acquaintances, over a bottle of 
whisky, to pass some resolutions, no matter on 
what subject ; publish them even if you pay the 
printer — it will answer the purpose of breaking 
the ice, which is the main point in these matters. 
Intrigue until you are elected an officer of the 
militia; this is the second step toward promotion, 
and can be accomplished with ease, as I know an 
instance of an election being advertised, and no one 
attending, the innkeeper at whose house it was to 
be held, having a military turn, elected himself 
colonel of his regiment." Says I, " You may not 
accomplish your ends with as little difficulty, but 
do not be discouraged — Rome wasn't built in a 
day. 

" If your ambition or circumstances compel you 
to serve your country, and earn three dollars a day, 
by becoming a member of the legislature, you must 
first publicly avow that the constitution of the 
state is a shackle upon free and liberal legislation ; 
and is, therefore, of as little use in the present en- 
lightened age, as an old almanac of the year in 
which the instrument was framed. There is policy 
in this measure, for by making the constitution a 



58 

mere dead letter, your headlong proceedings will 
be attributed to a bold and unshackled mind ; 
whereas, it might otherwise be thought they arose 
from sheer mulish ignorance. ' The Government' 
has set the example in his attack upon the consti- 
tution of the United States, and who should fear to 
follow where ' the Government' leads ? 

"When the day of election approaches, visit your 
constituents far and wide. Treat liberally, and 
drink freely, in order to rise in their estimation, 
though you fall in your own. True, you may be 
called a drunken dog by some of the clean shirt and 
silk stocking gentry, but the real rough necks will 
style you a jovial fellow, — their votes are certain, 
and frequently count double. Do all you can to 
appear to advantage in the eyes of the women. 
That's easily done — you have but to kiss and slab- 
ber their, children, wipe their noses, and pat them 
on the head; this cannot fall to please their mothers, 
and" you may rely on your business being done in 
that quarter. 

"Promise all that is asked," said I, "and more if 
you can think of any thing. Offer to build a bridge 
or a church, to divide a country, create a batch of 
new offices, make a turnpike, or any thing they 
like. Promises cost nothing, therefore deny nobody 
w^ho has a vote or sufficient influence to obtain one.. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 59 

" Get up on all occasions, and sometimes on no 
occasion at all, and make long-winded speeches, 
though composed of nothing else than wind — talk 
of your devotion to your country, your modesty 
and disinterestedness, or on any such fanciful sub- 
ject. Rail against taxes of all kinds, office holders, 
and bad harvest weather ; and wind up with a 
flourish about the heroes who fought and bled for 
our liberties in the times that tried men's souls. 
To be sure you run the risk of being considered a 
bladder of wind, or an empty barrel ; but never 
mind that, you will find enough of the same 
fraternity to keep you in countenance. 

" If any charity be going forward, be at the top 
of it, provided it is to be advertised publicly ; if 
not, it isn't worth your while. None but a fool 
would place his candle under a bushel on such an 
occasion. 

" These few directions," said I, " if properly 
attended to, will do your business; and when once 
elected, why a fig for the dirty children, the pro- 
mises, the bridges, the churches, the taxes, the 
offices, and the subscriptions, for it is absolutely 
necessary to forget all these before you can become 
a thorough-going politician, and a patriot of the 
first water." 

My speech was received with three times three, 



60 COLONEL Crockett's 

and all that; and we continued speechifying and 
drinking until nightfall, when it was put to vote, 
that we would have the puppet show over again, 
which was carried mm, con. The showman set his 
wires to work, just as "the Government" does the 
machinery in his big puppet show ; and we spent 
a delightful and rational evening. We raised a 
subscription for the poor showman; and I went to 
bed, pleased and gratified with the hospitality and 
kindness of the citizens of Little Rock. There 
are some first-rate men there, of the real half horse 
half alligator breed, with a sprinkling of the steam- 
boat, and such as grow nowhere on the face of the 
universal earth, but just about the back bone of 
North America. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. ' 61 



CHAPTER V. 

The day after our public dinner I determined to 
leave my hospitable friends at Little Rock, and 
cross Arkansas to Fulton on the Red River, a 
distance of about one hundred and twenty miles. 
They wanted me to stay longer ; and the gentleman 
who had the reputation of being the best marksman 
in those parts was most particularly anxious that 
we should have another trial of skill ; but says I to 
myself, " Crockett, you've had just about glory 
enough for- one day, so take my advice, and leave 
well enough alone." I declined shooting, for there 
was nothing at all to be gained by it, and I might 
possibly lose some little of the reputation I had 
acquired. I have always found that it is a very im- 
portant thing for a man who is fairly going ahead, 
to know exactly how far to go, and when to stop. 
Had " the Government" stopped before he meddled 
with the constitution, the deposites, and " taking 
the responsibility," he would have retired from 
ouice with almost as much credit as he entered 
upon it, which is as much as any public man can 
6 



b2 • 

reasonably expect. But the General is a whole 
team, and when fairly started, will be going ahead; 
and one might as well attempt to twist a streak of 
lightning into a true lover's knot as to stop him. 

Finding that I was bent on going, for I became 
impatient to get into Texas, my kind friends at 
Little Rock procured me a good horse to carry me 
across to Red River. There are no bounds to the 
good feeling of the pioneers of the west ; they con- 
sider nothing a trouble that will confer a favour 
upon a stranger that they chance to take a fancy 
to : true, we are something like chestnut burs on 
the outside, rather prickly if touched roughly, but 
there's good fruit within. 

My horse was brought to the door of the tavern, 
around which many of the villagers were assembled. 
The drum and fife were playing what was intended 
for a lively tune, but the skin of the drum still 
hung as loose as the hide of a fat man far gone in a 
consumption ; and the fife had not yet recovered 
from the asthma. The music sounded something 
like a fellow singing, "Away with melancholy," on 
the way to the gallows. I took my leave of the 
landlord, shook hands with the showman, who had 
done more than an average business, kissed his 
wife, who had recovered, and bidding farewell to 
all my kind-hearted friends, I moynted my horse, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 63 

and left the village, accompanied by four or five 
gentlemen. The drum and fife now appeared to 
exert themselves, and made more noise than usual, 
while the crowd sent lortii three cheers to encou- 
rage me on my way. 

I tried to raise some recruits for Texas among 
my companions, but they said they had their Own 
affairs to attend to, which would keep them at 
home for the present, but no doubt they would 
come over and see us as soon as the disturbances 
should be settled. They looked upon Texas as 
being part of the United States, though the Mexi- 
cans did claim it ; and they had no doubt the time 
was not very distant when it would be received 
into the glorious Union. 

]\Iy companions did not intend seeing me farther 
on my way than the Washita river, near fifty" 
miles. Conversation was pretty brisk, for we 
talked about the affairs of the nation and Texas ; 
subjects that are by no means to be exhausted, if 
one may judge by the long speeches made in Con- 
gress, where they talk year in and year out ; and 
it would seem that as much still remains to be said 
as ever. As we drew nigh to the Washita, the 
silence was broken alone by our own talk and the 
clattering of our horses' hoofs ; and we imagined 
ourselves ])retty much4he only travellers, when 



64 

we were suddenly somewhat startled by the sound 
of music. We checked our horses, and listened, 
and the music continued. " What can all that 
mean ?" says I. "Blast my old shoes if I know, 
Colonel," says one of the party. We listened 
again, and we now heard, " Hail, Columbia, happy 
land !" played in first-rate style. " That's fine," 
says I. . " Fine as silk. Colonel, and leetle finer," 
says the other ; " but hark, the tune's changed." 
We took another spell of listening, and now the 
musician struck up, in a brisk and lively manner, 
" Over the water to Charley." " That's mighty 
mysterious," says one ; " Can't cipher it out no- 
how," says another ; " A notch beyant my mea- 
sure," says a third. " Then let us go ahead," says 
I, and off we dashed at a pretty rapid gait, I tell 
you — by no means slow. 

As we approached the river we saw to the right 
of the road a new clearing on a hill, where several 
men were at work, and they running down the 
hill like wild Indians, br rather like the office 
holders in pursuit of the deposites. There appear- 
ed to be no time, to be lost, so they ran, and we 
cut ahead for the crossing. The music continued 
all this time stronger and stronger, and the very 
notes appeared to speak distinctly, " Over the 
water to Charley." 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 65 

When wc reached the crossing we were struck 
all of a heap, at beholding a man seated in a sulky 
in the middle of the river, and playing for life on 
a fiddle. The horse was up to his middle in the 
water ; and it seemed as if the flimsy vehicle Avas 
ready to be swept away by the current. Still the 
fiddler fiddled on composedly, as if his life had 
been insured, and he was nothing more than -a 
passenger. We thought he was mad, and shouted 
to him. He heard us, and stopped his music. 
" You have missed the crossing," shouted one of 
the men from the clearirfg. " I know I have," 
returned the fiddler. " If you go ten feet farther 
you will be drowned." " I know I shall," re- 
tgrned the fiddler. " Turn back," said the man. 
*' I can't," said the other. " Then how the devil 
will you get out ?" " I'm sure I don't know : 
come you and help me." 

The men from the clearing, who understood the 
river, took our horses and rode up to the sulky, 
and after some difficulty, succeeded in bringing the 
traveller safe to shore, when we recognised the 
worthy parson who had fiddled for us at the puppet 
show at Little Rock. They told him that he had 
had a narrow escape, and he replied, that he had 
found that out an hour ago. He said he had been 
fiddling to the fishes for a fidl hour, and had 
6* 



66 

exhausted»all the tunes that he could play without 
notes. We then asked him what could have in- 
duced him to think of fiddling at a time of such 
peril ; and he replied, that he had remarked in his 
progress through life, that there \vas nothing in 
univarsal natur so well calculated to draw people 
together as the sound of a fiddle ; and he knew, 
that he might bawl until he was hoarse for assist- 
ance, and no one would stir a peg ; but they would 
no sooner hear the scraping of his catgut, tl^n 
they would quit all other business, and come to the 
spot in flocks. We lawghed heartily "at the know- 
ledge the parson showed of human natur. — And he 
was right. 

Having fixed up the old gentleman's sulky right' 
and tio;ht, and after rubbing down his poor jaded 
animal, the company insisted on having a dance 
before we separated. We all had our flasks of 
whisky ; we took a drink all round, and though 
the parson said he had had about enough fiddling 
for one day^ he struck up with great good humour; 
at it we went, and danced straight fours for an 
hour and better. We all enjoyed ourselves very 
much, but; came to the conclusion, that dancing 
wasn't altogether the thing without a few petticoats 
to give it variety. 

The dance being over, our new friends pointed 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 67 

out the right fording, and q^sisted the pareon across 
the river. We took another drink all round, and 
after shaking each other cordially by the hand, we 
sejxirated, wishing each other all the good fortune 
that the rugged lot that has been assigned us will 
afford. My friends retraced the road to Little 
Rock, and I pursued my journey; and as I thought 
of their disinterested kindness to an entire stranger, 
I felt that the world is not quite as heartless and 
selfish as some grumblers would have us think. 

The Arkansas is a pretty fine territory, being 
about five hundred and fifty miles in length from 
east to west, with a mean width of near two hundred, 
extending over an area of about one hundred thou- 
sand square miles. The face of the country from its 
great extent is very much diversified. It is pretty 
well watered, being intersected by the Arkansas 
river and branches of the Red, Washita, and White 
rivers. The Maserne mountains, which rise in 
Missouri, traverse Arkansas and extend into Texas. 
That part of the territory to the south-east of the 
Masernes is for the most part low, and in many 
places liable to be overfloodcd annually. To the 
north-west of the mountains the country presents 
generally an open expanse of prairie without wood, 
except near the borders of the streams. The sea- 
sons of the year partake of those extremes of heat 



68 

and cold, which might be expected in so great an 
extent, and in a country which affords so much 
difference of level. The summers are as remark- 
able as is the winters for extremes of temperature. 
The soil exhibits every variety, from the most 
productive to the most sterile. The forest tree^ 
are numerous and large; such as oak, hickory, syca- 
more, cotton-wood, locust, and pine. The culti- 
vated fruit trees are the apple, pear, peach, plum, 
nectarine, cherry, and -quince ; and the various 
liinds of grain, such as wheat, rye, oats, barley, and 
Indian corn, succeed amazing well. Cotton, In- 
dian corn, flour, peltry, salted provisions, and lum- 
ber, are the staples of this territory. Arkansas 
was among the most ancient settlements of the 
French in Louisiana. That nation had a hunting 
and trading post on the Arkansas river as early as 
the beginning of the eighteenth century. Arkan- 
sas, I rather reckon, will be admitted as a state into 
the Union during the next session of Congress ; 
and if the citizens of Little Rock are a fair sample 
of her children, she cannot fail to go ahead. 

I kept in company with the parson until we ar- 
rived at Greenville, and I do say, he was just about 
as pleasant an old gentleman to travel with, as any 
man who wasn't too darned particular could ask 
for. We talked about politics, religion, and natur, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 69 

farming and bear hunting, and the many blessings 
that an all bountiful Providence has bestowed upon 
our happy couutry. lie continued to talk upon 
this subject, travelling over the whole ground as it 
were, until his imagination glowed, and his soul 
became full to overflowing; and he checked his 
horse, and I stopped mine also, and a stream of 
eloquence burst forth from his aged lips, such as I 
have seldom listened to : it came from the over- 
flowing fountain of a pure aad grateful heart. We 
were alone in the wilderness, but as he proceeded 
it seemed to me as if the tall trees bent their tops 
to listen ; that the mountain stream laughed out 
joyfully as it bounded on like some living thing ; 
that the fading flowers of autumn smiled, and sent 
forth fresher fragrance, as if conscious that they 
would revive in spring ; and even the sterile rocks 
seemed to be endued with some mysterious influ- 
ence. We were alone in the wilderness, but all 
things told me that God was there. That thought 
renewed my strength and courage. I had left my 
country, felt somewhat like an outcast, believed 
that I had jyeen neglected and lost sight of : but I 
was now conscious that there was still one watch- 
ful Eye over me ; no matter whether I dwelt in 
the populous cities, or threaded the pathless forest 
alone ; no matter whether I stood in the high 



70 COLONEL Crockett's 

places among men, or made my solitary lair in the 
untrodden wild, that Eye was still upon me. My 
very soul leaped joyfully at the thought ; I never 
felt so grateful in all my life ; I never loved my 
God so sincerely in all my life. I felt that I still 
had a friend. 

When the old man finished I found that my 
eyes were wet with tears. I approached and press- 
ed his hand, and thanked him, and says I, ^'Now let 
us take a drink." I set him the example, and he 
followed it, and in a style too that satisfied me, 
that if he had ever belonged to the Temperance 
society, he had either renounced membership or 
obtained a dispensation. Having liquored, we pro- 
ceeded on our journey, keeping a sharp look-out 
for mill seats and plantations as we rode along. 

I left the worthy old man at Greenville, and 
sorry enough I was to part with him, for he talked 
a great deal, and he seemed to know a little about 
every thing. He knew all about the history of 
the country; was well acquainted with all the lead- 
ing men ; knew where all the good lands lay in 
most of the western -state's, as well as the cutest 
clerk in the Land office ; and had traced most of 
the rivers to their sources. He Avas very cheerful 
and happy, though to all appearances very poor. 
1 thought that he would make a first-rate agent for 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 71 

taking up lands, and mentioned it to him ; he 
smiled, and pointing above, said, "My wealth lies 
not in this world." 

I mounted my horse, and pushed forward on my 
road to Fulton. When I reached Washington, a 
village a few miles from the Red river, I rode up 
to the Black Bear tavern, when the following con- 
versation took place between me and the landlord, 
which is a pretty fair sample of the curiosity of 
some folks : — 

"Good morning, mister — I don't exactly re- 
collect your name now," said the landlord as I 
alighted. 

" It's of no consequence," said I. 

" I'm pretty sure I've seen ye somewhere." 

" Very likely you may, I've been there fre- 
quently." 

" I was sure 'twas so; but strange I should forget 
your name," says he. 

" It is indeed somewhat strange that you should 
forget what you never knew," says I. 

"It is unaccountable strange. It's what I'm not 
often in the habit of, I assure you. I have, for the 
most part, a remarkably detentive memory. In 
the power of people that pass along this way, I've 
scarce ever made, as the doctors say, a slapsus 
slinkuni of this kind afore." 



"Eh heh!'' J shouted, while, the critter con- 
tinued. 

" Travelling to the western country, I presume, 
mister ?'^ 

" Presume any thing you please, sir," says I, 
" but don't trouble me with your presumptions." 

" Lord, no, sir — I won't do that — I've no ideer 
of that — not^the least ideer in the world," says he; 
" I suppose you've been to the westward afore 
now ?" 

" Well, suppose I have ?" 

" Why, on that supposition, 1 was going to say 
you must be pretty well — that is to say, you must 
know something about the place." 

"Eh heh!" I ejaculated, looking sort of mazed 
full in his face. The tarnel critter still went ahead. 

" I take it you're a married man, mister ?" 

" Take it as you will, that is no affair of mine," 
says I. 

" Well, after all, a married life is the most hap- 
piest way of living ; don't you think so, mister ?" 

" Very possible," says I. 

" I conclude you have a family of children, sir.'"' 

" I don't know what reason you have to con- 
clude so." 

"0,no reason in the world, mister, not the least," 
says he j " but I thought I might just take the 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 73 

liberty to make the presumption, you know, that's all, 
sir. I take it, mister, you're a man about my age ?^' 

"Ehheh!" 

" ITow old do you call yourself, if I may be so 
bold ?^' 

" You're bold enough, the devil knows," says I; 
and as I spoke rather sharp, the varment seemed 
rather staggered, but he soon recovered himself, 
and came up to the chalk again. 

"No offence, I hope — I — I — I — wouldn't be 
thouglit uncivil by any means ; I always calculate 
to treat everybody with civility.'' 

"You have a very strange way of showing it." 

" True, as you say, I ginnerally take my own 
way in these ere matters. — Do you practise law, 
mister, or farming, or mechanicals ?" 

" Perhaps so," says I. 

" Ah, I judge so ; I was pretty certain it must 
be the case. Well, it's as good business as any 
there is followed now-a-days." 

"Eh heh!" I shouted, and my lower jaw fell in 
amazemept at his perseverance. 

" I take it you've money at interest, mister ?" 
continued the varment, without allowing himself 
time to take breath. 

" Would it be of any particular interest to you 
to fmd out ?" says I. 

7 



74 

" 0, not at all, not the least in the world, sir. 
I'm not at all inquisitive about other people's mat- 
ters^ I mind's my own business — that's my way." 

'^ And a very odd way you have of doing it too." 

" I've been thinking what persuasion you're of — 
whether you're a Unitarian or Baptist, or whether 
you belong to the Methodisses.'^ 

" Well, what's the conclusion ?" 

" Why, I have concluded that I'm pretty near 
right in my conjectures. Well, after all, I'm in- 
clined to think they're the nearest right of any 
persuasion — though some folks think differently." 

"Eh heh!" I shouted again. 

" As to pollyticks, I take it, you — that is to say, 
I suppose you " 

« Very likely." 

"Ah! I could have sworn it was so from the 
moment I saw^ you. I have a nack at finding out 
a man's sentiments. I dare say, mister, you're a 
justice in your own country ?" 

" And if I may return the compliment, I should 
say you're a just ass everywhere." By this time 
I began to get weary of his impertinence, and led 
my horse to the trough to water, but the darned 
critter followed me up. 

"Why, yes,"^ said he, " I'm in the commission 
of the peace, to be sure — and an officer in the 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 75 

militia — though between you and I, I wouldn't 
wish to boast of it/' 

My horse having finished drinking, I put one 
foot in the stirrup, and was preparing to mount — 
" Any more inquiries to make ?" said I. 

"Why, no, nothing to speak on," said he. 
"When do you return, mister ?" 

"About the time I come back," said I; and 
leaping into the saddle galloped off. The pesti- 
ferous varment bawled after me, at the top of his 
voice, — 

"Well, I shall look for ye then. I hope you 
won't fail to call." 

Now, who in all natur do you reckon the crittur 
was, who afforded so fine a sample of the imperti- 
nent curio«ity that some people have to pry into 
other people's afTairs ? I knew him well enough 
at first sight, though he seemed to have forgotten 
me. It was no other than Job Snelling, the manu- 
facturer of cayenne pepper out of mahogany saw- 
dust, and upon whom I played the trick with the 
coon skin. I pursued my journey to Fulton, and 
laughed heartily to think what a swither I had left 
poor Job in, at not gratifying his curiosity; for I 
knew he was one of those fellows who would peep 
down your throat just to ascertain what you had 
eaten for dinner. 



76 COLONEL Crockett's 

When I arrived at Fulton, I inquired for a gen- 
tleman to whom my friends at Little Rock had 
given me a letter of introduction. I was received 
in the most hospitable manner ; and as the steam- 
boat did not start for Natchitoches until the next 
day, I spent the afternoon in seeing all that was to 
be seen. I left my horse with the gentleman, who 
promised to have him safely returned to the owner; 
and I took the steamboat, and started on my way 
down the Red river, right well pleased with my 
reception at Fulton. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 77 



CHAPTER VI. 

There was a considerable number of passengers 
on board the boat, and our assortment was some- 
what like the Yankee merchant's cargo of notions, 
pretty particularly miscellaneous, I tell you. I 
moved through the crowd from stem to stern, to 
see if I could discover any face that was not alto- 
gether strange to me ;- but after a general survey, 
I concluded that I had never seen one of them 
before. There were merchants and emigrants and 
gamblers, but none who seemed to have embarked 
in the particular business that for the time being 
occupied my mind — I could find none who were 
going to Texas. All seemed to have their hands 
full enougli of their ow^n affairs, without meddling 
with the cause of freedom. The greater share of 
glory will be mine, thought I, so go ahead, Crockett. 

I saw a small cluster of passengers at one end of 
the boat, and hearing an occasional burst of laughter, 
thinks I, there's some sport started in that quarter, 
and having nothing better to do, I'll go in for my 
share of it. Accordingly I drew nigh to the 



78 COLONEL Crockett's 

cluster, and seated on a chest was a tall lank sea 
sarpent looking blackleg, who had crawled over 
from Natchez under the hill, and was amusing the 
passengers with his skill at thimblerig ; at the 
same time he was picking up their shillings just 
about as expeditiously as a hungry gobbler would 
a pint of corn. He was doing what might be called 
an average business in a small way, and lost no 
time in gathering up the fragments. 

I watched the whole process for some time, and 
found that he had adopted the example set by the old 
tempter himself, to get the w^athergage of us poor 
weak mortals. He made it a point to let his vic- 
tims win always the first stake, that they might be 
tempted to go ahead; and then, when they least 
suspected it, he would come down upon them like 
a hurricane in a cornfield, sweeping all before it. 

I stood looking on, seeing him pick up the 
chicken feed from the green horns, and thought if 
men are such darned fools as to be cheated out of 
their hard earnings by a fellow who had just brains 
enough to pass a pea from one thimble to another, 
with such Slight of hand, that you could not tell 
underwhich hehad deposited it;it is not astonishing 
that the magician of Kinderhook should play thim- 
blerig upon the big figure, and attempt to cheat the 
whole nation. I thought that " the Government" 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 79 

was playing the same game with the depositcs, and 
with suck address too, that before long it will be 
a hard matter to find them under any of the thim- 
bles where it is supposed they have been originally 
placed. 

The thimble conjurer saw me looking on, and 
eyeing me as if he thought I would be a good sub- 
ject, said carelessly, " Come, stranger, won't you 
take a chance ?" the whole time passing the pea 
from one thimble to the other, by way of throwing 
out a bait for the gudgeons to bite at. " I never 
gamble, stranger," says I, "principled against it ; 
think it a slippery way of getting through the 
world at best." " Them arc my sentiments to a 
notch," says he ; " but this is not gambling by no 
means. A little innocent pastime, nothing more. 
Better take a hack by way of trying your luck at 
guessing." All this time he continued working 
with his thimbles ; first putting the pea under one, 
which was plain to be seen, and then uncovering 
it, wou.d show that the pea was there ; he would 
then put it under the second thimble, and do the 
same, and then under the third ; all of which he 
did to show how easy it would be to guess where 
the pea was deposited, if one would only keep a 
sharp look-out. 

*' Come, stranger," says he to me again, "you 



80 

had better take a chance. Stake a trifle, I don't 
care how small, just for the fun of the thing." 

" I am principled against betting money," says I, 
" but I don't mind going in for drinks for the 
present company, for I'm as dry as one of little 
Isaac Hill's regular set speeches." 

"I admire your principles," says he, "and to show 
that I play with these here thimbles just for the sake 
of pastime, I will take that bet, though I'm a whole 
hog temperance man. Just say when, stranger." 

He continued all the time slipping the pea from 
one thimble to another ; my eye was as keen as a 
lizard's, and when he stopped, I cried out, "Now; 
the pea is under the middle thimble." He was 
going to raise it to show that it wasn't there, when 
I interfered, and said, " Stop, if you please," and 
raised it myself, and sure enough the pea was 
there ; but it mought have been otherwise if.he had 
had the uncovering of it. 

" Sure enough you've won the bet," says he. 
" You've a sharp eye, but I don't care if I give 
you another chance. Let us go fifty cents this 
bout ; I'm sure you'll win." 

" Then you're a darned fool to bet, stranger," 
says I ; " and since that is the case, it would be 
little better than picking your pocket to bet with 
you ; so I'll let it alone." 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. SI 

** I don't mind running the risk," said he. 

" But I do," says I ; " and since I always let well 
enough alone, and I have had just ahout glory 
enough for one day, let us all go to the bar and 
liquor." 

This called forth a loud laugh at the thimble 
conjurer's expense ; and he tried hard to induce me 
to take just one chance more, but he mought just 
as well have sung psalms to a dead horse, for my 
mind was made up ; and I told him, that I looked 
upon gambling as about the dirtiest way that a 
man could adopt to get through tliis dirty world ; 
and that I would never bet any thing beyond a 
quart of whisky upon a rifle shot, which I con- 
sidered a legal bet, and gentlemanly and rational 
amusement. "But all this cackling," says I, 
" makes me very thirsty, so let us adjourn to the 
bar and liquor." 

He gathered up his thimbles, and the whole 
company followed us to the bar, laughing heartily 
at the conjurer; for, as he had won some of their 
money, they were sort of delighted to see him 
beaten with his own cudgel. He tried to laugli 
too, but his laugh wasn't at all pleasant, and rather 
forced. The barkeeper placed a big-bellied bottle 
before us ; and after mixing our liquor, I was called 
on for a toast, by one of the compan}', a chap just 



about as rough hewn as if he had been cut out of a 
gum log with a broad axe, and sent into the market 
without even being smoothed off with a jack plane, 
— one of them chaps who, in their journey through 
life, are always ready for a fight or a frolic, and 
donH care the toss of a copper which. 

" Well, gentlemen,'^ says I, " being called upon 
for a toast, and being in a slave-holding state, in 
order to avoid giving offence, and running the risk 
of being Lynched, it may be necessary to premise 
that I am neither an abolitionist nor a coloniza- 
tionist, but simply Colonel Crockett, of Tennessee, 
now bound for Texas." When they heard my 
name they gave three cheers for Colonel Crockett ; 
and silence being restored, I continued, "Now, 
gentlemen, I will offer you a toast, hoping, after 
what I have stated, that it will give offence to no 
one present; but should I be mistaken, I must 
imitate the ^ old Roman,' and take the responsi- 
bility. I offer, gentlemen, The abolition of slavery: 
Let the work first begin in the two houses of Con- 
gress. There are no slaves in the country more 
servile than the party slaves in Congress. The 
wink or the nod of their masters is all sufficient for 
the accomplishment of the most dirty work." 

They drank the toast in a style that satisfied me, 
that the Little Magician mjght as well go to a pig- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 83 

sty for wool, as to beat round in that part for 
voters; they were all either for Judge White or 
Old Tippecanoe. The thimble conjurer having 
asked the barkeeper how much was to pay, was 
told there were sixteen smallers, which amounted 
to one dollar. He was about to lay down the blunt, 
but not in Benton's metallic currency, which I find 
has already become as shy as honesty with an office 
holder, but he planked down one of Biddle's notes, 
when I interfered, and told him that the barkeeper 
had made a mistake. 

"How so ?" demanded the barkeeper. 

" How much do you charge," says I, " when 
you retail your liquor ?'^ 

" A fip a glass." 

" Well, then," says I, " as Thimblerig here, who 
belongs to the temperance society, took it in 
wholesale, I reckon you can afford to let him have 
it at half price ?" 

Now, as they had all noticed that the conjurer 
went what is called the heavy wet, they laughed 
outright, and we heard no more about temperance 
from that quarter. When we returned to the deck 
the blackleg set to work with his thimbles again, 
and bantered me to bet; but I told him that it was 
against my principle, and as I had already reaped 
glory enough for one day, I would just let well 



84 

enough alone for the present. If the " old Roman" 
had done the same in relation to the deposites and 
" the monster/^ we should have escaped more dif- 
ficulties than all the cunning of the Little Flying 
Dutchman, and Dick Johnson to boot, will be able 
to repair. I shouldn't be astonished if the new 
Vice President's head should get wool gathering, 
before they have half unravelled the knotted and 
twisted thread of perplexities that the old General 
has spun, — in which case his charming spouse will 
no doubt be delighted, for then they will be all in 
the family way. What a handsome display they 
will make in the White House. No doubt the 
first act of Congress will be to repeal the duties 
on Cologne and Lavender waters, for they will 
be in great demand about the Palace, particularly 
in the dog days. 

One of the passengers, hearing that I was on 
board of the boat, ca!me up to me, and began to talk 
about the affairs of the nation, and said a good deal 
in favour of " the INIagician," and wished to hear 
what I had to say against him. He talked loud, 
which is the way with all politicians educated in 
the Jaclvson school ; and by his slang-whanging, 
drew a considerable crowd around us. Now, this 
was the very thing I wanted, as I knew I should 
not soon have another opportunity of making a 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 85 

political speech ; he no soorifer asked to hear what 
I had to say against his candidate, than I let liim 
have it, strong and hot as he could take, I tell 
you. 

*^ What have I to say against Martin Van Buren ? 
He is an artful, cunning, intriguing, selfish, specu- 
lating lawyer, who, by holding lucrative offices for 
more than half his life^ has contrived to amass a 
princely fortune, and is now seeking the presidency, 
principally for sordid gain, and to gratify the most 
selfish ambition. His fame is unknown to the his- 
tory of our country, except as a most adroit political 
manager and successful office hunter. He never 
took up arms in defence of his country, in her days 
of darkness and peril. He never contributed a 
dollar of his surplus wealth to assist her in her 
hours of greatest want and weakness. Office and 
MONEY have been the gods of his idolatry ; and at 
their shrines has the ardent worship of his heart 
been devoted, from the earliest days of his manhood 
to the present moment. He can lay no claim to 
pre-eminent services as a statesman ; nor has he 
ever given any evidences of superior talent, except 
as a political electioneerer and intriguer. As a 
politician he is 'all things to all men.' He is for 
internal improvement, and against it ; for the tariff, 
and against it; for the bank monopoly, and against 
8 



86 

it ; for abolition of slavery, and against it ; and for 
any thing else, and against any thing else ; just as 
he can best promote his popularity and subserve 
his own private interest. He is so totally destitute 
of moral courage, that he never dares to give an 
opinion upon any important question until he first 
finds out whether it will be popular, or not. He is 
celebrated as the ' Little Non Committal Magician,' 
because he enlists on no side of any question until 
he discovers which is the strongest party ; and then 
always moves in so cautious, sly, and secret a man- 
ner, that he can change sides at any time, as easily 
as a juggler or a magiciafi can play oflf his arts of 
legerdemain. 

" Who is Martin Van Buren ? He is the can- 
didate of the office holders and office expectants, 
who nominated him for the presidency, at a con- 
vention assembled in the city of Baltimore, in May 
last. The first account we have of his political life 
is while he was a member of the Senate of New 
York, at the time when Mr. Clinton was nominated 
as the federal candidate for the presidency, in op- 
position to Mr. Madison. The support he then 
gave Mr. Clinton affiDrded abundant evidence of 
that spirit of opposition to the institutions of his 
country, which was prominently developed in the 
conduct of those with whom he was united. Shortly 



, ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 87 

after the success of Mr. Madison, and during the 
prosecution of the war, Rufus King, of New York, 
(for whom Mr. Van Buren voted,) was elected to 
the Senate' of the United States, avowedly opposed 
to the administration. Upon his entrance into that 
body, instead of devoting his energies to maintain 
the war, he commenced a tirade of abuse against 
the administration for having attempted relief to 
the oppressed seamen of our gallant navy, who had 
been compelled by British violence to arm them- 
selves against their country, their firesides, and 
their friends. Thus IMartin Van Buren counte- 
nanced, by his vote in the Senate of New York, an 
opposition to that war, which, a second time, con- 
vinced Great Britain that Americans could not be 
awed into bondage and subjection. 

" Subsequent to this time Mr. Van Buren became 
himself a member of the United States Senate, and, 
while there, opjjosed every proposition to improve 
the west or to add to her numerical strength. 

" He voted agamst the continuance of the na- 
tional road through Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and 
against appropriations for its preservation. 

^' He voted against the graduation of the price 
of the public lands. 

" He voted against ceding the refuse lands to 
the states in which they lie. 



88 COLONEL Crockett's 

" He voted against making donations of the 
lands to actual settlers. 

"He again voted against ceding the refuse lands, 
not worth twenty-five cents per acre, to the new 
states for purposes of education and internal im- 
provement. 

" He voted against the bill providing ' settle- 
ment and pre-emption rights' to those who had 
assisted in opening and improving the western 
country, and thus deprived many an honest poor 
man of a home. 

" He voted against donations of land to Ohio, 
to prosecute the Miami Canal ; and, although a 
member of the Senate, he was not present when 
the vote was taken upon the engrossment of the 
bill giving land to Indiana for her Wabash and 
Erie Canal, and was known to have opposed it in 
all its stages. 

" He voted in favour of erecting toll gates on 
the national road ; thus demanding a tribute from 
the west for the right to pass upon her own high- 
ways, constructed out of her own money — a thing 
never heard of before. 

" After his terjn of service had expired in the 
Senate, he was elected Governor of New York, by 
a plurality of votes. He was afterward sent to 
England as minister plenipotentiary, and upon his 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 89 

return was elected Vice President of the United 
States, which ofiice he now holds, and from which 
the office holders are seeking to transfer him to the 
presidency." 

My speech was received with great applause, 
and the politician, finding that I was better ac- 
quainted with his candidate than he was himself, 
for I wrote his life, shut his fly trap, and turned 
on his heel without saying a word. He found that 
he had barked up the wrong tree. I afterward 
learnt that he was a mail contractor in those parts, 
and that he also had large dealings in the Land 
office, and therefore thought it necessary to chime 
in with his penn}^ whistle, in the universal chorus. 
There's a large band of the same description, but 
I'm thinking Uncle Sam will some day find out 
that he has paid too much for the piper. 



90 



CHAPTER VII. 

After my speech, and setting my face against 
gambling, poor Thimblerig was obliged to break 
off conjuring for want of customers, and call it half 
a day. He came and entered into conversation 
with me, and I found him a good-natured intelli- 
gent fellow, with a keen eye for the main chance. 
He belonged to that numerous class, that it is per- 
fectly safe to trust as far as a tailor can sling a bull 
by the tail — but no farther. He told me that he 
had been brought up a gentleman ; that is to say, 
he was not instructed in any useful pursuit by 
which he could obtain a livelihood, so that when 

he found he had to depend upon himself for the 

« 
necessaries of life, he began to suspect, that dame 

nature would have conferred a particular favour 

if she had consigned him to the care of any one 

else. She had made a very injudicious choice 

when she selected him to sustain the dignity of a 

gentleman. 

The first bright idea that occurred to him as a 

speedy means of bettering his fortune, would be to 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 91 

marry an heiress. Accordingly he looked about 
himself pretty sharp, and after glancing from one 
fair object to another, finally his hawk's eye rested 
upon the young and pretty daughter of a wealthy 
planter. Thimblerig run his brazen face with his 
tailor for a new suit, for he abounded more in that 
metallic currency than he did in either Benton's 
mint drops or in Biddle's notes ; and having the 
gentility of his outward Adam thus endorsed by 
his tailor — an important endorsement, by-the-way, 
as times go — he managed to obtain an introduction 
to the planter's daughter. 

Our worthy had the principle of going ahead 
strongly developed. He was possessed of consider- 
able address, and had brass enough in his face to 
make a wash-kettle; and having once got access to 
the planter's house, it was no easy matter to dis- 
lodge him. In this he resembled those politicians 
who commence life as office holders; they will 
hang on tooth and nail, and even when death 
shakes them off, you'll find a commission of some 
kind crumpled up in their clenched fingers. Little 
Van appears to belong to this class — there's no 
beating his snout from the public crib. He'll feed 
there while there's a grain of corn left, and even 
then, from long habit, he'll set to work and gnaw 
at the manger. 



92 

Thimblerig got the blind side of the planter, 
and every thing to outward appearances went on 
swimmingly. Our worthy boasted to his cronies 
that the business was settled, and that in a few weeks 
he should occupy the elevated station in society 
that nature had designed him to adorn. He swelled 
like the frog in the fable, or rather like Johnson's 
wife, of Kentucky, when the idea occurred to her 
of figuring away at Washington. But there's many 
a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip, says the proverb, 
and suddenly Thimblerig discontinued his visits at 
<he planter's house. His friends inquired of him the 
meaning of this abrupt termination of his devotions. 

" I have been treated with disrespect," replied 
the worthy, indignantly. 

" Disrespect ! in what way ?" 

" My visits, it seems, are not altogether agree- 
able." 

"But how have you ascertained that ?" 

" I received a hint to that effect ; and I can take 
a hint as soon as another." 

" A hint! — and have you allowed a hint to drive 
you from the pursuit? For shame. Go back again." 

"No, no, never! a hint is sufficient for a man 
of my gentlemanly feelings. I asked the old man 
for his daughter." 

" Well, what followed ? what did he say ?" 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 93 

"Didn't say a word.'' 

" Silence gives consent all the world over." 

" So I thought. I then told him to fix the day." 

" Well, what then ?" 

" Why, then he kicked me down stairs, and 
ordered his slaves to pump upon me. That's hint 
enough for me, that my visits are not properly 
appreciated ; and blast m}^ old shoes if I condescend 
to renew the acquaintance, or notice them in any 
way until they send for me." 

As Thimblerig's new coat became rather too 
seedy to play the part of a gentleman much longer 
in real life, he determined to sustain that character 
upon the stage, and accordingly joined a company 
of players. He began, according to custom, at the 
top of the ladder, and was regularly hissed and 
pelted through every gradation until he found 
himself at the lowest rowel. " This," said he, " was 
a dreadful check to proud ambition;" but he con- 
soled himself with the idea of peace and quiet in 
his present obscure walk ; and though he had no 
prospect of being elated by the applause of admiring 
multitudes, he no longer trod the scene of mimic 
glory in constant dread of becoming a target for 
rotten eggs and oranges. — "And there was much 
in that," said Thimblerig. But this calm could 
not continue for ever. 



94 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

The manager, who, like all managers who pay sala- 
ries regularly, was as absolute behind the scenes as 
the "old Roman" is in the White House, had fixed 
upon getting up an eastern spectacle, called the 
Cataract of the Ganges. He intended to introduce 
a fine procession, in which an elephant was to be 
the principal feature. Here a difficulty occurred. 
What was to be done for an elephant ? Alligators 
were plenty in those parts, but an elephant w^as 
not to be had for love or money. But an alligator 
would not answer the purpose, so he determined 
to make a pasteboard elephant as large as life, and 
twice as natural. The next difficulty was to find 
members of the company of suitable dimensions to 
perform the several members of the pasteboard 
star. The manager cast his eye upon the long 
gaunt figure of the unfortunate Thimblerig, and 
cast -him for the hinder legs, the rump, and part of 
the back of the elephant. The poor player ex- 
postulated, and the manager replied, that he would 
appear as a star on the occasion, and would no 
doubt receive more applause than he had during 
his whole career. "But I shall not be seen," said 
the player. " All the better," replied the manager, 
" as in that case you will have nothing to apprehend 
from eggs and oranges." 

Thimblerig, finding that mild expostulation avail- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 95 

ed nothing, swore that he would not study the part, 
and accordingly threw it up in dignified disgust. 
He said that it was an outrage upon the feelings of 
the proud representative of Shakspeare's heroes, to 
be compelled to play pantomime in the hinder parts 
of the noblest animal that ever trod the stage. If it 
had been the fore quarters of the elephant, it might 
possibly have been made a speaking part ; at any 
rate he might have snorted through the trunk, if 
nothing more ; but from the position he was to 
occupy, damned the word could he utter, or even 
roar with propriety. He therefore positively re-. 
fused to act, as he considered it an insult to his 
reputation to tread the stage in such a character ; 
and he looked upon the whole affair as a profana- 
tion of the legitimate drama. The result was, our 
worthy was discharged from the company, and 
compelled to commence hoeing another row. 

He drifted to New Orleans, and hired himself 
as marker to a gambling tabled Here he remained 
but a few months, for his ideas of arithmetic differ- 
ed widely from those of his employ'er, and accord- 
ingly they l;ad some difficulty in balancing the 
cash account; for when his employer, in adding up 
the receipts,jnade it nought and carry two, Thim- 
blerig insisted that it should be nought and carry 
one ; and in order to prove that he was correct, 



96 

he carried himself oflf, and left nothing behind 
him. 

He now commenced professional blackleg on his 
own hook, and took up his quarters in Natchez 
under the hill. Here he remained, doing business 
in a small way, until Judge Lynch commenced his 
practice in that quarter, and made the place too hot 
for his comfort. He shifted his habitation, but not 
having sufficient capital to go the big figure, he 
practised the game of thimblerig until he acquired 
considerable skill, and then commenced passing up 
and down the river in the steamboats; and managed, 
by close attention to business, to pick up a decent 
livelihood in the small way, from such as had more 
pence in their pockets than sense in their noddles. 

I found Thimblerig to be a pleasant talkative 
fellow. He communicated the foregoing facts with 
as much indifference as if there had been nothing 
disgraceful in his career ; and at times he would 
chuckle with an air of triumph at the adroitness he 
had displayed in some of the knavish tricks he had 
practised. He looked upon this world as one vast 
stage, crowded with empirics and jugglers ; and 
that he who could practise his deceptions with the 
greatest skill was entitled to the greatest applause. 

I asked him to give me an account of Natchez 
and his adventures there, and I would put it in the 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 97 

book I intended to write, wj^en he gave me the 
following, which betrays that his feelings were 
still somewhat irritated at being obliged to give 
them leg bail when Judge Lynch made his appear- 
ance. I give it in his own words. 

" Natchez is a land of fevers, alligators, niggers, 
and cotton bales : wdiere the sun shines with force 
sufficient to melt the diamond, and the word ice 
is expunged from the dictionary, for its definition 
cannot be comprehended by the natives : where 
to refuse grog before breakfast would degrade you 
below the brute creation ; and where a good dinner 
is looked upon as an angel's visit, and voted a 
miracle : where the evergreen and majestic mag- 
nolia tree, with its superb flower, unknown to the 
northern climes, and its fragrance unsurpassed, calls 
forth the admiration of every beholder ; and the 
dark moss hangs in festoons from the forest trees 
like the drapery of a funeral pall : where bears, 
the size of young jackasses, are fondled in lieu «f 
pet dogs; and knives, the length of a barber's pole, 
usurp the place of toothpicks : where the filth 
of the town is carried ofi* by buzzards, and the in- 
habitants are carried off by fevers : wdiere nigger 
women are knocked down by the auctioneer, and 
knocked up by tlie purcliaser : where the poorest 
slave has plenty of yellow boys^ but not of Benton's 
9 



mintage ; and inde^ the shades of colour are so 
varied and mixed, that a nigger is frequently seen 
black and blue at the same time. And such is 
Natchez. 

"The town is divided into two parts, as distinct 
in character as they are in appearance. Natchez 
on the hill, situated upon a high bluff overlooking 
the Mississippi, is a pretty little town with streets 
regularly laid out, and ornamented with divers 
handsome public buildings. Natchez under the 
hill, — where, 0! where, shall I find words suitable 
to describe the peculiarities of that unholy spot ? 
'Tis, in fact, the jumping off place. Satan looks on 
it with glee, and chuckles as he beholds the orgies 
of his votaries. The buildings are for the most 
part brothels, taverns, or gambling houses, and fre- 
quently the whole three may be found under the 
same roof. Obscene songs are sung at the top of 
the voice in all quarters. I have repeatedly seen 
the strumpets tear a man's clothes from his back, 
and leave his body beautified with all the colours 
of the rainbow. 

" One of the most popular tricks is called the 
* Spanish burial.' When a greenhorn makes his 
appearance among them, one who is in the plot 
announces the death of a resident, and that all 
strangers must subscribe to the custom of the place 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 99 

upon such an occasion. They forthwith arrange a 
procession; each person, as he passes the departed, 
kneels down and pretends to kiss the treacherous 
corpse. , When the unsophisticated attempts this 
ceremony the dead man clinches him, and the 
mourners beat the fellow so entrapped until he 
consents to treat all hands ; but should he be pen- 
niless, his life will be endangered by the severity 
of the castigation. And such is Natchez under 
the hill. 

" An odd affair occurred while I was last there,'' 
continued Thimblerig. " A steamboat stopped at 
the landing, and one of the hands went ashore under 
the hill to purchase provisions, and the adroit citi- 
zens of that delectable retreat contrived to rob him 
of all his money. The captain of the boat, a deter- 
mined fellow, went ashore in the hope of persuad- 
ing them to refund, — but that cock wouldn't fight. 
Without farther ceremony, assisted by his crew 
and passengers, some three or four hundred in 
number, he made fast an immense cable to the frame 
tenement where the theft had been perpetrated, and 
allowed fifteen minutes for the money to be forth- 
coming ; vowing, if it was not produced within 
that time, to put steam to his boat, and drag the 
house into the river. The money was instantly 
produced. 



100 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

"I witnessed a sight during my stay there," 
conthiued the thimble conjurer, '' that almost froze 
my blood with horror, and will serve as a speci- 
men of the customs of the far south. A planter, of 
the name of Foster, connected with the best fami- 
lies of the state, unprovoked, in cold blood, mur- 
dered his young and beautiful wife, a few months 
after marriage. He beat her deliberately to death 
in a walk adjoining his dwelling, carried the body 
to the hut of one of his slaves, washed the dirt from 
her person, and, assisted by his negroes, buried her 
upon his plantation. Suspicion was awakened, the 
body disinterred, and the villain's guilt established. 
He fled, w-as overtaken, and secured in prison. His 
trial was, by some device of the law, delayed until 
the third term of the court. At length it came on, 
and so clear and indisputable was the eVklence, that 
not a doubt w^as entertained of the result ; when, 
by an oversight on the part of the sheriff, who 
neglected swearing into office his deputy who sum- 
moned the jurors, the trial was abruptly discon- 
tinued, and all proceedings against Foster were 
suspended, or rather ended. 

" There exists, throughout the extreme south, 
bodies of men who style themselves Lynchers. 
When an individual escapes punishment by some 
technicality of the law, or perpetrates an offence 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 101 

not recoi^nised in courts of justice, they seize him, 
and inflict such chastisement as they conceive ade- 
quate to the offence. They usually act at night, 
and disguise their persons. This society at Nat- 
chez embraces all the lawyers, physicians, and 
principal merchants of the place. Foster, whom 
all good men loathed as a monster unfit to live, 
was called into court, and formally dismissed. 
But the Lynchers were at hand. The moment 
he stept from the court-house he was knocked 
down, his arms bound behind him, his eyes ban- 
daged, and in this condition was marched to the 
rear of the towm, where a deep ravine afforded a 
fit place for his punishment. His clothes were 
torn from his back, his head partially scalped, they 
next bound him to a tree ; each Lyncher was sup- 
plied with a cowskin, and they took tui^ns at the 
flogging until the flesh hung in ribands from his 
body. A quantity of heated tar was then poured 
over his head, and made to cover every part of his 
person ; they finally showered a sack of feathers 
on him, and in this horrid guise, w^th no other 
apparel than a miserable pair of breeches, with a 
drummer at his heels, he was paraded through the 
principal streets at midday. No disguise was 
assumed by the Lynchers ; the very lawyers em- 
ployed upon his trial took part in his punishment. 
9* 



102 

" Owing to long confinement iiis gait had be- 
come cramped, and his movements were very fal- 
tering. By the time the procession reached the 
most public part of the town, Foster fell down 
from exhaustion, and was allowed to lie there for 
a time, without exciting the sympathies of any 
one, — an object of universal detestation. The 
blood oozing from his stripes had become mixed 
with the feathers and tar, and rendered his aspect 
still more horrible and loathsome. Finding him 
unable to proceed further, a common dray was 
brought, and with his back to the horse's tail, the 
drummer standing over him playing the rogue's 
march, he was reconducted to prison, the only 
place at whicli he would be received. 

" A guard \vas placed outside of the jail to give 
notice to the body of Lynchers when Foster might 
attempt to escape, for they had determined on 
branding him on the forehead and cutting his ears 
off. At two o'clock in the morning of the second 
subsequent day, two horsemen with a led horse 
stopped at the prison, and Foster was with diifi- 
culty placed astride. The Lynchers wished to 
secure him ; he put spurs to his beast, and passed 
them. As he rode by they fired at him ; a ball 
struck his hat, wdiich was thrown to the ground, 
and he escaped ; but if ever found within the limits 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 103 

of the stale, will be shot down as if a price was set 
on his head. 

"Sights of tliis kind," continued Thimblerig, 
'• are by no means unfrequent. I once saw a 
gambler, a sort of friend of mine, by-tlie-wa}', 
detected cheating at faro, at a time when the bets 
were running pretty high. They flogged him al- 
most to death, added the tar and feathers, and pLiced 
him aboard a dug-out, a sort of canoCj^at twelve at 
night ; and with no other instruments of navigation 
than a bottle of whisky and a paddle, set him adrift 
in the Mississippi. He has never been heard of 
since, and the presumption is, that he either died 
of his wounds or was run down in the night by a 
steamer. And this is w^hat we call Lynching in 
Natchez." 

Thimblerig had also been at Vicksburg in his 
time, and entertained as little liking for that place 
as he did for Natchez. He had luckily made his 
escape a short time before the recent clearing-out 
of the slight-of-hand gentry; and he reckoned some 
time would elapse before he would pay them an- 
other visit. He said they must become more 
civilized first. All the time he was talking to me 
he was sealed on a chest, and playing mechanically 
with his pea and thimbles, as if he was afraid that 
he would lose the slight unless he kept his hand 



104 



in constant practice. Nothing of any consequence 
occurred in our passage down the river, and I 
arrived at Natchitoches in perfect health, and in 
good spirits. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 105 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Natchitoches is a post town and seat of justice 
for the parish of Natchitoches, Louisiana, and is 
situated on the riglit bank of tlie Red river. The 
houses are cliiefly contained in one street, running 
parallel to the river ; and the population I should 
reckon at abou.t e'ght hundred. The soil in this 
parish is generally sterile, and covered with pine 
timber, except near the margin of Red rivxr, where 
the greatest part of the inhabitants are settled on 
the alluvial banks. Some other, though compara- 
tively small, tracts of productive soil skirt the 
streams. An extensive body of low ground, sub- 
ject to annual submersion, extends along the Red 
river, which, it is said, will produce forty bushels 
of frogs to the acre, and alligators enough to fence it. 

I stayed two days at Natchitoches, during which 
time I procured a horse to carry me across Texas 
to the seat of war. Thimblerig remained with me, 
and I found his conversation very amusing ; for he 
is possessed of humour and observation, and has 
seen sometliing of tiie world. Between whiles he 



106 

would amuse himself with his thimbles, to which 
he appeared greatly attached, and occasionally he 
would pick up a few shillings from the tavern 
loungers. He no longer asked me to play with 
him, for he felt somewhat ashamed to do so, and 
he knew it would be no go. 

I took him to task in a friendly manner, and 
tried to shame him out of his evil practices. I told 
him that it w^as a burlesque on human natur, that 
an "able bodied man, possessed of his full share of 
good sense, should voluntarily debase himself, and 
be indebted for subsistence to such pitiful artifice. 

" But what's to be done. Colonel ?" says he. 
"I'm in the slough of -despond, up to the very 
chin. A miry and slippery path to travel." 

" Then hold your head up," says I, " before the 
slough reaches your lips." 

^•' But what's the use?" says he ; " it's utterly 
impossible for me to wade through ; and even if I 
could, I should be in such a dirty plight, that it 
would defy all the waters in the Mississippi to wash 
me clean again. No," he added, in a desponding 
tone, " I should be like a live eel in a frying pan, 
Colonel, sort of out of my element, if I attempted 
to live like an honest man at this time o' day." 

" That I deny. It is never too late to become 
honest," said I. "But even admit what you say 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 107 

to be true — that you cannot live like an honest 
man, you have at least the next best thing in your 
power, and no one can say nay to it." 

" And what is that ?" 

" Die like a brave one. And I know not whether, 
in the eyes of the world, a brilliant death is not 
preferred to an obscure life of rectitude. Most 
men are remembered as they died, and not as they 
lived. We gaze with admiration upon the glories 
of the setting sun, yet scarcely bestow a passing 
glance upon its noonday splendour." 

" You are right ; but how is this to be done ?" 

" Accompany me to Texas. Cut aloof from 
your degrading habits and associates here, and in 
fighting for their freedom, regain your own." 

He started from the table, and hastily gathering 
up the thimbles with which he had been playing 
all the time I was talking to him, he thrust them 
into his pocket, and after Striding two or three 
times across the room, suddenly stopped, his leaden 
eye kindled, and grasping me by the hand violently, 

he exclaimed with an oath, "By Til be a man 

again. Live honestly, or die bravely. I go with 
you to Texas." 

I said what I could to confirm him in his resolu- 
tion, and finding that the idea had taken fast hold 
of his mind, I asked him to liquor, which he did 



108 coLo>'EL Crockett's 

not decline, notwithstanding the temperance habits 
that he boasted of ; we then took a walk on the 
banks of the river. 

The evening preceding my departure from Nat- 
chitoches, a gentleman, with a good horse and a 
light wagon, drove up to the tavern where I lodged. 
He was -accompanied by a lady who carried an 
infant in her arms. As they alighted I recognised 
the gentleman to be the politician at whom I had 
discharged my last political speech, on board the 
boat coming down the Red'i'iver. We had let him 
out in our passage down, as he said he had some 
business to transact some distance above Natchi- 
toches. He entered the tavern, and seemed to be 
rather shy of me, so I let him go, as 1 had no idea 
of firing two shots at* such small game. 

The gentleman had a private room, and called 
for supper ; but the lady, who used every precau- 
tion to keep the child concealed from the view of 
any one, refused to eat supper, saying she was un- 
well. ' However, the gentleman made a hearty 
meal, and excused the woman, saying " My wife 
is subject to a pain in the stomach, which has de- 
prived her of her food." Soon after supper the 
gentleman desired a bed to be prepared, which 
being done, they immediately retired to rest. 

About an hour before daybreak, next morning, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 109 

the repose of the whole inn was disturbed by the 
screams of the child. This continued for some 
time, and at length the landlady got up to see what 
it was ailed the noisy bantling. She entered the 
chamber without a light, and discovered the gentle- 
roan seated in the bed alone, rocking the infant in 
his arms, and endeavouring to quiet it by saying, 
"Hush, my dear — mamma will soon return again." 
However the child still squalled on, and the long 
absence of the mother rendered it necessary that 
something should be done to quiet it. 

The landlady proposed taking up the child, to 
see what was the reason of its incessant cries. She 
approached the bed, and requested the man to give 
her the infant, and tell her whether it was a son or 
a daughter ; but this question redoubled his con- 
sternation, for he was entirely ignorant which sex 
the child belonged to ; however, with some diffi- 
culty, he made the discovery, and informed the 
landlady it was a son. 

She immediately called for a light, which was 
no sooner brought than the landlady began to un- 
fold the wrapper from the child, and exclaim, " 0, 
what a fine big son you have got!" But on a morC' 
minute examination they found, to their great 
astonishment, and to the mortification and vexation 
of the supposed father, that the child was a mulatto, 
10 



110 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

The wretched man, having no excuse to offer, 
immediately di-vulged the whole matter without 
reserve. He stated, that he had fell in with her on 
the road to Natchitoches the day before, and had 
offered her a seat in his vehicle. Soon perceiving 
that she possessed an uncommon degree of assu- 
rance, induced him to propose that they should 
pass as man and wife, to which she readily assented. 
No doubt she had left her own home in order to 
rid herself of the stigma which she had brought on 
herself by her lewd conduct; and at midnight she 
had eloped from the bed, leaving the infant to the 
paternal care of her pretended husband. 

Immediate search was made for the mother of 
the child, but in vain. And, as the song says, 
"Single misfortunes ne'er come alone," to his great 
consternation and grief, she had taken his horse, 
and left the poor politician destitute of every thing 
except a fine yellow hoy, but of a widely different 
description from those which Benton put in cir- 
culation. 

By this time all the lodgers in the tavern had 
got up and dressed themselves, from curiosity to 
know the occasion of the disturbance. I descended 
to the street in front of the inn. The stars were 
faintly glimmering in the heavens, and the first 
beams of the morning sun were struggling through 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. Ill 

the dim clouds that skirted the eastern horizon. I 
thought myself alone in the street, when the hush 
of morning was suddenly broken by a clear, joyful, 
and musical voice, which sang, as near as I could 
catch it, the following scrap of a song : 

" O, what is the time of the merry round year 

That is fittest and sweetest for love 1 ^ 
Ere sucks the bee, ere buds the tree; 
And primroses by two, by three, 
Faintly shine in the path of the lonely deer, 
Like the few stars of twilight above." 

I turned towards the spot whence the sounds 
proceeded, and discovered a tall figure leaning 
against the sign post. His eyes were fixed on the 
streaks of light in the east ; his mind was absorbed, 
and he was clearly unconscious of any one being 
near him. He continued his song in so full and 
clear a tone, that the street re-echoed — 

** When the blackbird and thrush, at early dawn, 

Prelude from leafy spray — 

Amid dewy scents and blandishments, 

Like a choir attuning their instruments, 

Ere the curtain of nature aside be drawn 

For the concert the livelong day." 

I now drew nigh enough to see him distinctly. 
He was a young man, not more than twenty-two. 
His figure was light and graceful, at the same time 
that it indicated strength and activity. He was 
dressed in a hunting shirt, which was made with 



112 COLONEL Crockett's 

uncommon neatness, and ornamented tastily with 
fringe. He held a highly finished rifle in his right 
hand, and a hunting pouch, covered with Indian 
ornaments, was slung across his shoulders. His 
clean shirt collar was open, secured only by a black 
riband around his neck. His boots w^ere polished, 
without a soil upon them ; and on his head was 
a neat fur cap, tossed on in a manner which said, 

"I don't care a d n," just as plainly as any cap 

could speak it. I thought it must be some popin- 
jay of a lark, until I took a look at his countenance. 
It was handsome, bright, and manly. There was 
no mistake in that face. From the eyes down to 
his breast he was sunburnt as dark as mahogany, 
while the upper part of his high forehead was as 
white and polished as marble. Thick clusters of 
black hair curled from under his cap. I passed 
on, unperceived, and he continued his song : — 

*' In the green spring-tide, all tender and bright, 
When the sun sheds a kindlier gleam 
O'er velvet bank, that sweet flowers prank, 
That have fresh dews and sunbeams drank — 
Softest, and most chaste, as enchanted light 
In the visions of maiden's dream." 

The poor politician, whose misfortunes had roused 
up the inmates of the tavern at such an unusual 
hour, now returned from the stable, where he had 
been in search of his horse and his woman ; but 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 113 

they were both among the missing. He held a 
whip in his hand, and about a dozen men followed 
him, some from curiosity to see the result of the 
adventure, and others from better feelings. As he 
drew nigh to the front of the tavern, chafing with 
mortification at both his shame and his loss, his 
rage increasing to a flame as his windy exclama- 
tions became louder and louder, he chanced to espy 
the fantastic personage I have just described, still 
leaning against the sign post, carelessly humming 
his song, but in a lower tone, as he perceived he 
was not alone. 

The irritated politician no sooner saw the stran- 
ger against the sign post, whose self satisfied air 
was in striking contrast with the excited feelings 
of the other, than he paused for a moment, appeared 
to recognise him ; then coming up in a blustering 
manner, and assuming a threatening attitude, he 
exclaimed fiercely — 

" You're an infernal scoundrel — do you hear? an 
infernal scoundrel, sir!'' 

" I do, but it's news to me," replied the other, 
quietly. 

" News, you scoundrel ! do you call it news ?" 

« Entirely so." 

" You needn't think to carry it oflf so quietly. I 
say, you're an infernal scoundrel, and I'll prove it." 
10* 



114 COLONEL Crockett's 

" I beg you will not ; I shouldn't like to be 
proved a scoundrel," i-eplied the other, smiling 
with most provoking indifference. 

" No, I dare say you v^^ouldn't. But answer me 
directly — did you, or did you not say, in pre- 
sence of certain ladies of my acquaintance, that I 
was a mere " 

" Calf ? — 0, no, sir ; the truth is not to be spoken 
at all times." 

" The truth ! Do you presume to call me a 
calf, sir ?" 

" 0,^ no, sir ; I call you nothing," replied 

the stranger, just as cool and as pleasant as a morn- 
ing in spring. 

" It's well you do ; for if you had presumed to 
call me " 

" A man, I should have been grossly mistaken." 

'' Do you mean to say, I am not a man, sir ?" 

" That depends on circumstances." 

"What circumstances?" demanded the other, 
fiercely. 

" If I should be called as an evidence in a court 
of justice, I should be bound to speak the truth." 

" And you would say, I was not a man, hey ? — 
Do you see this cowskin ?" 

" Yes ; and I have seen it with surprise ever 
since you came up," replied the stranger, calmly, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 115 

at the same time handing me his rifle, to take 
care of. 

"With surprise!" exclaimed the politician who 
saw that his antagonist had voluntarily disarmed 
himself; — "Why, did you suppose I was such a 
coward, that I dare not use the article when I 
thought it was demanded ?" 

" Shall I tell you what I thought ?" 

"Do — if you dare." 

" I thought to myself, what use has a calf for a 
cowskin ?" He turned to me, and said, " I had 
forgot, Colonel — shall I trouble you to take care 
of this also.'"' Saying which he drew a long 
hunting knife from his belt, and placed it in my 
hand. He then resumed his careless attitude against 
the sign post. 

" You distinctly (fall me a calf, then ?" 

" If you insist upon it, you may." 

" You hear, gentlemen," said he, speaking to the 
bystanders — "Do you hear the insult? — What 
shall I do with the scoundrel ?" 

"Dress him, dress him!" exclaimed twenty 
voices, with shouts and laughter. 

"That I'll do at once !" Then turning to the 
stranger, he cried out fiercely, " Come one step 
this way, you rascal, and I'll flog you within an 
inch of your life." 



116 COLONEL Crockett's 

"I've no occasion." 

" You're a coward." 

" Not on your word." 

" I'll prove it by flogging you out of your 
skin." 

« I doubt it." 

*' I am a liar then — am I ?" 

" Just as you please." 

" Do you hear that, gentlemen ?" 

" Ay, we hear," was the unanimous response. 
" You can't avoid dressing him now." 

" 0, heavens ! grant me patience ! I shall fly 
out of my skin." 

" It will be so much the better for your pocket ; 
calf skins are in good demand." 

" I shall burst." 

" Not here in the street, I beg of you. It would 
be disgusting." 

" Gentlemen, .can I any longer avoid flogging 
him ?" 

" Not if you are able," was the reply. " Go 
at him." 

Thus provoked, thus stirred up, and enraged, the 
fierce politician went like lightning at his provok- 
ing antagonist. But before he could strike a blow 
he found himself disarmed of his cowskin, and 
lying on his back under the apout of a neighbour- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 117 

ing pump, whither the young man had carried him 
to cool his rage; and before he could recover from 
his astonishment at such unexpected handling, he 
was as wet as a thrice drowned rat, from the cata- 
racts of water which his laughing antagonist had 
liberally pumped upon him. His courage, by this 
time, had fairly oozed out; and he declared, as he 
arose and went dripping away from the pump, that 
he would never again trust to quiet appearances; 
and that the devil himself might, the next time, 
undertake to cowskin such a cucumber blooded 
scoundrel for him. The bystanders laughed hear- 
tily. The politician now went in pursuit of his 
horse and his woman, taking his yellow boy with 
him ; and the landlady declared that he richly de- 
served what he had got, even if he had been guilty 
of no other offence than the dirty imposition he 
had practised on her. 

The stranger now came to me, and calling me 
by name, asked for his rifle and knife, which I re- 
turned to him. I expressed some astonishment at 
being known to him, and he said that he had hfeard 
of my being in the village, and had sought me out 
for the purpose of accompanying me to Texas. He 
'^told me that he was a bee hunter ; that he had 
travelled pretty much over that country in the 
way of his business, and that I would find him of 



118 ' 

considerable use in navigating through the ocean 
of prairies. 

He told me that honey trees are abundant in 
Texas, and that honey of an excellent quality, and 
in any quantity, may be obtained from them. 
There are persons who have a peculiar tact in 
coursing the bee, and thus discovering their de- 
posites of the luscious food. This employment is 
not a mere pastime, but is profitable. The wax 
alone, thus obtained, is a valuabla article of com- 
merce in Mexico, and commands a high price. It 
is much used in churches, where some of the can- 
dles made use of are as long as a man's arm. It 
often happens that the hunters throw away the 
honey, and save only the wax. 

" It is a curious fact," said the bee hunter, " in 
the natural history of the bee, that it is never found 
in a wild country, but always precedes civilization, 
forming a kind of advance guard between the white 
man and the savage. The Indians, at least, are 
perfectly convinced of this faet, for it is a common 
remark among them, when they observe these 
insects — * there come the white men.' " 

Thimblerig came up, and the bee hunter spoke 
to him, calling him by name, for he had met with 
him in New Orleans. I told him that the conjurer 
had determined to accompany me also, at which 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 119 

he seemed well pleased, and encouraged the poor 
fellow to adhere to that resolution ; for he would 
be a man among men in Texas, and no one would 
be very particular in inquiring fibout his fortunes 
in the states. If once there, he might boldly stand 
up and feed out of the same rack with the best. 

I asked him what was his cause of quarrel with 
the politician, and he told me that he had met him 
a few weeks before down at Baton Rouge, where 
the fellow was going the big figure; and that he 
had exposed him to some ladies, which completely 
cut his comb, and he took wing; that this was the 
first time they had met since, and being determined 
id have his revenge, he had attacked him without 
first calculating consequences. 

With the assistance of our new friend, who was 
a generous, pleasant fellow, we procured a horse 
and rifle for Thimblerig ; and we started for Nacog- 
doches, which is about one hundred and twenty 
miles west of Natchitoches, under the guidance of 
the bee hunter. 



120 



CHAPTER IX. 

Our route, which lay along what is called the 
old Spanish road, I found to be much better defined 
on the naap, than upon the face of the country. 
We had, in many instances, no other guide to the 
path than the blazes on the trees. The bee hunter 
was a cheerful communicative companion, and by 
his pleasant conversation rendered our journey any 
thing but fatiguing. He knew all about the coun- 
try ; had undergone a variety of adventure, and 
described what he had witnessed with such fresh- 
ness, and so graphically, that if I could only re- 
member one-half he told me about the droves of 
wild horses, buffalo, various birds, beautiful scenery 
of the wide spreading and fertile prairies, and his 
adventures with the roving tribes of Indians, I 
should fill my book, I am sure, much more agree- 
ably than I shall be able to do on my own hook. 
When heM get tired of talking, he'd commence 
singing, and his list of songs seemed to be as long 
as a rainy Sunday. He had a fine clear voice, and 
though I have heard the Woods sing at the Park 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. I2l 

Theatre, in New York, I must give the Bee hunter 
the preference over all I have ever heard, except 
my friend Jim Crow, who, it must be allowed, is a 
real steamboat at the business, and goes a leetle 
ahead of any thing that will come after him. 

He gave me, among other matters, the following 
account of a rencounter between one of the early 
settlers and the Indians : — 

" Andrew Tumlinson," said he, " belonged to a 
family which the colonists of De Witt will long 
remember as one of their chief stays in the dangers 
of settling those wilds, trod only by the children 
of the forest. This indefatigable champion of re- 
venge for his father's death, who had fallen some 
years before by Indian treachery, had vowed never 
to rest until he had received satisfaction. In order 
the better to accomplish his end, he was one of the 
foremost, if possible, in every skirmish with the 
Indians; and that he might be enabled to do so with- 
out restraint, he placed his wife under the care of 
his brother-in-law, shouldered his rifle, and headed 
a ranging party, who were resolved to secure peace 
to those who followed them, though purchased by 
their own death. 

" He had been frequently victorious, in the most 
desperate fights, where the odds w^ere greatly 
against him, and at laSt fell a victim to his own 
11 



122 

imprudence. A Caddo had been seized as a spy^ 
and threatened with death, in order to compel him 
to deliver up his knife. The fellow never moved 
a muscle, or even winked, as he beheld the rifles 
pointed at him. He had been found lurking in the 
yard attached to the house of a solitar}^ and unpro- 
tected family, and he knew that the whites were 
exasperated at his tribe for injuries that they had 
committed. When discovered he was accompanied 
by his little son. 

' "Tumlinson spoke to him in Spanish, to learn 
what had brought him there at such a time, but 
instead of giving any satisfaction, he sprung to his 
feet, from the log where he was seated, at the same 
time seizing his rifle which was lying beside him. 
The owner of the house, with whom the Indian 
had been on a friendly footing, expostulated with 
him, and got him to surrender the gun, telling him 
that the whites only wished to be satisfied of his 
friendly intentions, and had no desire to injure 
one who might be useful in conciliating his red 
brethren. 

" He appeared to acquiesce, and wrapping his 
blanket more closely around his body, moved on 
in silence ahead of the whites. Tumlinson ap- 
proached him, and though the rest of the party 
privately cautioned him not to go too nigh, as they 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 123 

believed the Indian had a knife under his blanket, 
he disregarded the warning, trusting for safety to 
his rifle and dexterity. 

^' He continued to interrogate the captive until 
he awakened his suspicions that his life was not 
safe. The Indian returned no answer but a short 
caustic laugh at the end of every question. Tum- 
linson at length beheld his countenance become 
more savage, which was followed by a sudden 
movement of the right hand beneath his blanket. 
He fired, and the next instant the Caddo's knife 
was in his heart, for the savage sprung" with the 
quickness of the wild cat upon his prey. The 
rifle ball had passed through the Indian's body, yet 
his victim appeared to be no more in his grasp 
than a sparrow in the talons of an eagle, for he was 
a man of gigantic frame, and he knew that not only 
his own life, but that of his little son, would be 
taken on the spot. He called to the boy to fly, 
while he continued to plunge his knife into the 
bosom of his prostrate victim. The rest of the 
party levelled their rifles, and the victor shouted, 
with an air of triumph, — ' Do your worst. I have 
sacrificed another pale face to the spirits of my 
fathers.' They fired, and he fell dead across the body 
of the unfortunate Tumlinson. The poor boy fell 
also. He had sprung forward some distance, when 



124 

his father was shot, and was running in a zig-zag 
manner, taught them in their youth, to avoid the 
balls of their enemies, by rendering it difficult for 
the best marksman to draw a sight upon them." 

In order to afford me some idea of the state of 
society in the more thickly settled parts of Texas, 
the Bee hunter told me that he had set down to 
the breakfast table, one morning at an inn, at San 
Felipe, and among the small party around the 
board were eleven who had fled from the states 
cha;:ged with having committed murder. So ac- 
*customed^re the inhabitants to the appearance of 
fugitives from justice that they are particularly 
careful to make inquiries of the characters of new- 
comers, and generally obtain early and circumstan- 
tial information concerning strangers. "Indeed," 
said he, " it is very common to hear the inquiry 
made, ^What did he do that made him leave home ?' 
or, * What have you come to Texas for?' intimating 
almost an assurance of one's being a criminal. Not- 
withstanding this state of things, however, the good 
of the public, and of each individual, is so evidently 
dependent on the public morals, that all appear 
ready to discountenance and punish crime. Even 
men who have been expatriated by fear of justice, 
are here among the last who would be disposed to 
shield a culprit guilty of a crime against life or 



ADVENTUllES IN TEXAS. 125 

property." Thimblerig was delighted at this fa- 
vourable account of the state of society, and said 
that it would be the very place for him to flourish 
in ; he liked their liberal way of thinking, for it 
did not at all tally with his ideas of natural law, 
that a man who happened to give offence to the 
straight laced rules of action established by a set 
of people contracted in their' notions, should be 
hunted out of all society, even though willing to 
conform to their regulations. lie was lawyer 
enough, he said, to know that every offence should 
be tried on the spot where it was committed ; and 
if he had stolen the pennies from his grandmother's 
eyes in Louisiana, the people in Texas would have 
nothing to do with that affair, nohow they could 
fix it. The dejected conjurej' pricked up his ears, 
and from that moment was as gay and cheerful as 
a blue bird in spring. 

As we approached Nacogdoches, the first object 
that struck our view was a flag flying at the top of 
a high liberty pole. Drums were beating, and fifes 
playing, giving an indication, not to be misunder- 
stood, of the spirit that had been awakened in a 
comparative desert. The people of the town no 
sooner saw us than many came out to meet us. 
The Bee hunter, who was known to them, intro- 
duced me ; and it seems that they had already re- 
11* 



126 

ceived the news of my intended visit, and its object, 
and I met with a cordial and friendly reception. 

Nacogdoches is the capitol of the department of 
that name, and is situated about sixty miles west 
of the river Sabine, in a romantic dell, surrounded 
by woody bluffs of considerable eminence, within 
whose inner borders, in a semicircle embracing the 
town, flow the two forks of the Nana, a branch of 
the Naches. It is a flourishing town, containing 
about one thousand actual citizens, although it 
generally presents twice that number on account 
of its extensive inland trade, one-half of which is 
supported by the friendly Indians. The healthiness 
of this town yields to none in the province, except 
Bexar, and to none whatsoever south of the same 
latitude, between the Sabine and the Mississippi, 
There was a fort established here, by the French, 
as far back as the year 1717, in order to overawe 
the wandering tribes of red men, between their 
borders and the colonists of Great Britain. The 
soil around it is of an easy nature and well adapted 
to cultivation. 

I passed the day at Nacogdoches in getting in- 
formation from the principal patriots as to the 
grievances imposed upon them by the Mexican 
government ; and I passed the time very pleasantly, 
but I rather reckon not quite as much so as my 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 127 

friend the Bee hunter. In the evening, as I had 
missed him for several hours while I was attending 
to the affairs of the patriots, I inquired for my 
companion, and was directed, by the landlord, to 
an apartment appropriated to his family, and ac- 
cordingly I pushed ahead. Before I reached the 
door, I heard the joyous and musical voice of the 
young rover singing as usual. 

" I'd like to have a little farm, 

And leave such scenes as these. 
Where I could live, without a care, 

Completely at my ease. 
I'd like to have a pleasant house 

Upon my little farm, 
A-iry and cool in summer time 

In winter close and warm." 

"And is there nothing else you'd like to have 
to make you happy, Edward ?" demanded a gentle 
voice, which sounded even more musical in my 
ear than that of the Bee hunter. 

" Yes, in good faith there is, my gentle Kate ; 
and I'll tell you what it is," he exclaimed, and 
resumed his song : — 

" I'd like to have a little wife — 

I reckon I know who ; 
I'd like to have a little son — 

A little daughter too ; 
And when they'd climb upon my knee, 

I'd like a little toy 
To give my pretty little girl. 

Another for my boy." 



128 COLONEL Crockett's 

*' 0, fie, for shame of you to talk so, Edward!" 
exclaimed the same gentle voice. 

" Well, my pretty Kate, if you'll only listen, 
now, I'll tell you what I wouldn't like." 

" Let me hear that, by all means." 

" 1 should not like my wife to shake 

A broomstick at my head — 
For then I might begin to think 

She did not love her Ned ; 
But I should always like to see 

Her gentle as a dove ; 
I should not like to have her scold — 

But be all joy and love." 

" And there is not much danger, Edward, of her 
ever being otherwise." ^ 

*' Bless your sweet lips, that I am certain of," 
exclaimed the Bee hunter, and I heard something 
that sounded marvellously like a kiss. But he 
resumed his song : — 

" If I had these I would not ask 

For any thing beside ; 
I'd be content thus smoothly through 

The tedious world to glide. 
My little wife and I would then 

No earthly troubles see — 
Surrounded by our little ones, 

How happy we would be." 

I have always endeavoured to act up to the 
golden rule of doing as I would be done hy, and as 
I never liked to be interrupted on such occasions, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 129 

I returned to the bar-room, where I found Thim- 
blerig seated on a table practising with his thimbles, 
his large white Vicksburg hat stuck in a most in- 
dependent and impudent manner on the side of his 
head. About half a dozen men were looking on 
with amazement at his skill, but he got no bets. 
When he caught my eye his countenance became 
sort of confused, and he hastily thrust the thimbles 
into his pocket, saying, as he jumped from the table, 
"Just amusing myself a little, Cofonel, to kill time, 
and show the natives that some things can be done 
as well as others. — Let us take an ideer." So we 
walked up to the bar, took a nip, and let the matter 
drop. 

My horse had become lame, and I found I would 
not be able to proceed with him, so I concluded to 
sell him and get another. A gentleman offered to 
give me a mustang in exchange, and I gladly 
accepted of his kindness. The mustangs are the 
wild horses, that are to be seen in droves of 
thousands pasturing on the prairies. They are 
taken by means of a lazo, a long rope with a noose, 
which is thrown around their neck, and they are 
dragged to the ground with violence, and then 
secured. These horses, which are considerably 
smaller than those in the states, are very cheap, 
and are in such numbers, that in times of scarcity 



130 COLONEL Crockett's 

of game the settlers and the Indians have made use 
of them as food. Thousands have been destroyed 
for this purpose. 

I saw nothing of the Bee hunter until bed-time, 
and then I said nothing to him about what I had 
overheard. The next morning, as we were pre- 
paring for an early start. I went into the private 
apartment where my companion was, but he did 
not appear quite as cheerful as usual. Shortly 
afterward a young woman, about eighteen, entered 
the room. She was as healthy and blooming as 
the wild flowers of the prairie. My companion 
introduced me, she courtesied modestly, and turning 
to the Bee hunter, said, "Edward, I have made 
3'ou a new deer skin sack since you were last here. 
Will you take it with you ? Your old one is so 
soiled." 

" No, no, dear Kate, I shall not have leisure to 
gather wax this time." 

" I have not yet shown you the fine large gourd 
that I have slung for you. It will hold near a 
gallon of water." She went to a closet, and pro- 
ducing it, suspended it around his shoulders. 

"My own kind Kate!" he exclaimed, and 
looked as if he would devour her with his 
eyes. 

"Ilave I forgotten any thing ? — Ah ! yes, your 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 131 

books." She ran to the closet, and brought out 
two small volumes. 

*•' One is sufficient this time, Kate — my Bible. 
I will leave the poet with you." She placed it in 
his hunting bag, saying, 

" You will find here some biscuit and deer 
sinews, in case you should get bewildered in the 
prairies. You know you lost your way the last 
time, and were nearly famished." 

"Kind and considerate Kate." 

I began to find out that I was a sort of fifth 
wheel to a wagon, so I went to the front of the 
tavern to see about starting. There was a con- 
siderable crowed there, and I made them a short 
address on the occasion. I told them, among other 
things, that " I will die with my Betsey in my 
arms. No, I will not die — I'll grin down the 
walls of the Alamo, and the Americans will lick 
up the Mexicans like fine salt." 

I mounted my little mustang, and my legs nearly 
reached the ground. The thimble conjurer was 
also ready ; at length the Bee hunter made his ap- 
pearance, followed by his sweetheart, whose eyes 
looked as though she had been weeping. He took a 
cordial leave of all his friends, for he appeared to 
be a general favourite ; he then approached Kate, 



132 

kissed her, and leaped upon his horse. He tried 
to conceal his emotion by singing, carelessly, 

" Saddled and bridled, and booted rode he, 
A plume in his helmet, a sword at his knee." 

The tremulous and plaintive voice of Kate took 
up the next two lines of the song, which sounded 
like a prophecy : 

" But toom cam' the saddle, all bluidy to see. 
And hame cam' the steed, but hame never cam' he." 

We started off rapidly, and left Nacogdoches 
amid the cheering of true patriots and kind friends. 






ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 133 



CHAPTER X. 

An hour or two elapsed before the Bee hunter 
recovered his usual spirits, after parting from his 
kind little Kate of Nacogdoches. The conjurer 
rallied him good humouredly, and had become 
quite a different man from what he was on the 
west side of the Sabine. He sat erect in his saddle, 
stuck his large white Vicksburger conceitedly on 
his bushy head, carried his rifle with as much ease 
and grace as if he had been used to the weapon, 
and altogether he assumed an air of impudence and 
independence which showed that he had now a soul 
above thimbles. The Bee hunter at length recover- 
ed his spirits, and commenced talking very plea- 
santly, for the matters he related were for the most 
part new to me. 

My companions, by way of beguiling the tedious- 
ness of our journey, repeatedly played tricks upon 
each other, which were taken in good part. One 
of them I will relate. We had observed that the 
Bee hunter always disappeared on stopping at a 
house, running in to talk with the inhabitants and 
12 



1.14 

ingratiate himself with the women, leaving us to 
take care of the horses. On reaching our stopping 
place at night he left us as usual, and while we 
were rubbing down our mustangs, and hobbling 
them, a negro boy came out of the house with or- 
ders from our companion within to see to his horse. 
Thimblerig, who possessed a good share of roguish 
ingenuity, after some^^inquiries about the gentleman 
in the house, how he looked and what he was doing, 
told the boy, in rather a low voice, that he had 
better not come nearer to him than was necessary, 
for it was possible he might hurt him, though still 
he didn't ' think he would. The boy asked why 
he need be afraid of him. He replied, he did not 
certainly know that there was any reason — he 
hoped there was none — but the man had been 
bitten by a mad dog, and it was rather uncertain 
whether he was not growing mad himself. Still, 
he would not alarm the boy, but cautioned him not 
to be afraid, for there might be no danger, though 
there was something rather strange in the conduct 
of his poor friend. This was enough for the boy ; 
he was almost afraid to touch the horse of such a 
man ; and when, a moment afterward, our com- 
panion came out of the house, he slunk away 
behind the horse, and though he was in a great 
hurry to get him unsaddled, kept his eyes fixed 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 135 

steadily on the owner, closely watching his mo- 
tions. 

" Take off that bridle," exclaimed the impatient 
Bee hunter, in a stern voice : and the black boy 
sprung off, and darted away as fast as his feet could 
carry him, much to the vexation and surprise of 
our companion, wdio ran after him a little distance, 
but could in no way account for his singular and 
provoking conduct. When we entered tlie house 
things appeared a great deal more strange ; for the 
negro had rushed hastily into the midst of the 
family, and in his terrified state communicated the 
alarming tale, that the gentleman had been bitten 
by a mad dog. He, unconscious all the time of the 
trick that was playing off, endeavoured, as usual, to 
render himself as agreeable as possible, especially 
to the females with whom he had already formed 
a partial acquaintance. We could see that they 
looked on him with apprehension, and retreated 
whenever he approached them. One of them took 
an opportunity to inquire of Thimblerig the truth 
of the charge ; and his answer confirmed their 
fears, and redoubled their caution ; though, after 
confessing with apparent candour, that his friend 
had been bitten, he stated that there was no certainty 
of evil consequences, and it was a thing which 
of course could not be mentioned to the sufferer. 



136 COLONEL Crockett's 

As bed time approached the mistress of the 
house expressed her fears, lest trouble should arise 
in the night ^ for the house, according to custom, 
contained but two rooms, and was not built for 
security. She therefore urged us to sleep between 
him and the door, and by no means to let him pass 
us. It so happened, however, that he chose to 
sleep next the door, and it was with great difficulty 
that we could keep their fears within bounds. The 
ill-disguised alarm of the whole family was not less 
a source of merriment to him who had ^Deen the 
cause, than of surprise and wonder to the subject 
of it. Whatever member of tlie household he ap- 
proached promptly withdrew, and as for the negro, 
whenever he was spoken to by him, he would 
jump and roll his eyes. In the morning, when 
we were about to depart, we commissioned our 
belied companion to pay our bill ; but as he ap- 
proached the hostess she fled from him, and shut 
the door in his face. " I want to pay our bill," 
said he. " 1 if you will only leave the house," 
cried she, in terror, "you are welcome to your 
lodging." 

The jest, however, did not end here. The Bee 
hunter found out the trick that had been played 
upon him, and determined to retaliate. As we were 
about mounting, the conjurer's big white Vicks- 






ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 137 

burger was unaccountably missing, and nowhere 
to be found. He was not altogether pleased with 
the liberty that had been taken with him, and after 
searching some time in vain, he tied a handkerchief 
around his head, sprung upon his horse, and rode 
off with more gravity than usual. We had rode 
about two miles, the Bee hunter bantering the 
other with a story of his hat lying in pawn at the 
house we had left, and urged upon him to return 
and redeem it ; but finding Thimblerig out of hu- 
mour, and rCwSolved not to return, he began to 
repent of his jest, and offered to go back and bring 
it, on condition that the past should be forgotten, 
and there should be no more retaliation. The 
other consented to the terms, so lighting a cigar 
with his sun glass, he set off at a rapid rate on his 
return. He had not been gone long before I pre- 
sented Thimblerig with his hat, for I had seen the 
Bee hunter conceal it, and had secretly brought it 
along with me. It was some time before our ab- 
sent friend overtook us, having frightened all the 
family away by his sudden return, and searched the 
whole house without success. When he perceived 
the object of his ride upon the head of the conjurer, 
and recollected the promise by which he had bound 
himself not to have any more jesting, he could 
only exclaim, " Well, it's hard, but it's fair." We 



138 . COLONEL Crockett's 

all laughed heartily, and good humour was once 
again restored. 

Cane brakes are common in some parts of Texas, 
Our way led us through one of considerable extent. 
The frequent passage of men and horses had kept 
open a narrow path not wide enough for two mus- 
tangs to pass with convenience. The reeds, the 
same as are used in the northern states as fishing 
rods, had grown to, the height of about twenty feet, 
and were so slender, that having no support directly 
over the path, they drooped a little inward, and in- 
termingled their tops, forming a complete covering 
overhead. We rode about a quarter of a mile along 
this singular arched avenue with the view of the 
sky completely shut out. The Bee hunter told 
me that the largest brake is that which lines the 
banks of Caney Creek, and is seventy miles in 
length, with scarcely a tree to be seen the whole 
distance. The reeds are eaten by cattle and horses 
in the winter when the prairies yield little or no 
other food. 

When we came out of the brake we saw three 
black wolves jogging like dogs ahead of us, but at 
too great a distance to reach them with a rifle. 
Wild turkeys and deer repeatedly crossed our path, 
and we saw several droves of wild horses pasturing 
in the prairies. These sights awakened the ruling 



ADVENTURES* IN TEXAS. I3& 

passion strong within me, and I longed to have a 
hunt upon a large scale ; for though I had killed 
many bears and deers in my time, I had never 
brought down a buffalo jn all my life, and so I told 
my friends ; but they tried to dissuade me from it, 
by telling me that I would certainly lose my way, 
and perhaps perish ; for though it appeared as a 
cultivated garden to the eye, it was still a wilder- 
ness. I said little more on the subject until we 
crossed the Trinidad river, but every mile we 
travelled I found the temptation grow stronger and 
stronger. 

The night after we crossed the river we fortu- 
nately found shelter in the house of a poor woman, 
who had little but the barest necessaries to offer us. 
While we were securing our horses for the night 
we beheld two men approaching the house on foot. 
They were both armed with rifles and hunting 
knives, and though I have been accustomed to the 
sight of men who have not stepped far over the 
line of civilization, I must say these were just about 
the roughest samples I had seen anywhere. One 
was a man of about fifty years old, tall and raw- 
boned. He was dressed in a sailor's round jacket, 
with a tarpaulin on his head. His whiskers nearly 
covered his face ; his hair was coal black and long, 
aiid there was a deep scar across his forehead, and 



140 

another on the back of his right-hand. His com- 
panion, who was considerably younger, was bare- 
headed, and clad in a deer skin dress made after 
our fashion. Though he was not much darker 
than the old man, I perceived that he was an Indian. 
They spoke friendly to the Bee hunter, for they 
both knew him, and said they were on their way 
to join the Texian forces, at that time near the San 
Antonio river. Though they had started without 
horses, they reckoned they would come across a 
couple before they went much farther. The right 
of ownership to horse flesh is not much regarded 
in Texas, for those that have been taken from the 
w^ild droves are soon after turned out to graze on 
the prairies, the owner having first branded them 
with his mark, and hobbled them by tying their 
Tore feet together, which will enable another to 
capture them just as readily as himself. 

The old woman set about preparing our supper, 
and apologized for the homely fare, which consisted 
of bacon and fried onions, when the Indian went 
to a bag and produced a number of eggs of wild 
fowls, and a brace of fat rabbits, which were 
speedily dressed, and we made as good a meal as a 
hungry man need wish to set down to. The old 
man spoke very little ; but the Indian, who had 
lived much among the whites, was talkative, and 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 141 

manifested much impatience to arrive at the army. 
The first opportunity that occurred I inquired of 
the Bee hunter who our new friends were, and he 
told me that the old man had been for many years 
a pirate with the famous Lafitte, and that the 
Indian was a hunter belonging to a settler near 
Galveston Bay. I had seen enough of land rats 
at Washington, but this was the first time that I 
was ever in company with a water rat to my 
knowledge ; however, baiting that black spot on 
his escutcheon, he was a well behaved and inoffen- 
sive man. Vice does not appear so shocking when 
we are familiar with the perpetrator of it. 

Thimblerig was for taking airs upon himself 
after learning who our companions were, and pro- 
tested to me, that he would not sit down at the 
same table with a man who had outraged the laws 
in such a manner ; for it was due to society that 
honest men should discountenance such unprinci- 
pled characters, and much more to the same effect; 
when the old man speedily dissipated the gambler's 
indignant feelings by calmly saying, " Stranger, 
you had better take a seat at the table, I think," 
at the same time drawing a long hunting knife 
from his belt, and laying it on the table. " I think 
you had better take some supper with us," he 
added, in a mild tone, but fixing his eye sternly 



142 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

upon Thimblerig. The conjurer first eyed the knife, 
and then the fierce whiskers of the pirate, and, 
unlike some politicians, he wasn't long in making 
up his mind wh^t course to pursue, but he deter- 
mined to vote as the pirate voted, and said, "I 
second that motion, stranger," at the same time 
seating himself on the bench beside me. The old 
man then commenced cutting up the meat, for 
which purpose he had drawn his hunting knife, 
though the gambler had thought it was for a differ- 
ent purpose ; and being relieved from his fears, 
every thing passed off quite sociable. 

Early the following morning we compensated 
the old woman for the trouble she had been at, 
and we mounted our horses and pursued our jour- 
ney, our new friends following on foot, but pro- 
mising to arrive at the Alamo as soon as we should. 
About noon we stopped to refresh our horses be- 
neath a cluster of trees that stood in the open prai- 
rie, and I again spoke of my longing for a bufialo 
hunt. We were all seated on the grass, and they 
strived hard to dissuade me from the folly of allow- 
ing a ruling passion to lead me into such imminent 
danger and difficulty as I must necessarily encoun- 
ter. All this time, while they were running down 
my weakness, as they called it, Thimblerig was 
amusing himself with his eternal thimbles and pea 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 143 

upon the crown of his big white hat. I could not 
refrain from laughing outright to see with what 
gravity and apparent interest he slipped the pea 
from one thimble to another while in the midst of 
a desert. JVIan is a queer animal, and Colonel Dick 
Johnson is disposed to make him even queerer 
than Dame Nature originally intended. 

The Bee hunter told me, that if I was determined 
to leave them, he had in his bag a paper of ground 
coffee, and biscuit, which little Kate of Nacog- 
doches had desired him to carry for my use, which 
he handed to me, and proposed drinking her health, 
saying that she was one of the kindest and purest 
of God's creatures. We drank her health, and 
wished him all happiness wiien she should be his 
own, which time he looked forward to with impa- 
tience. He still continued to dissuade me from 
leaving them, and all the time he was talking his 
eyes were wandering above, when suddenly he 
stopped, sprang to his feet, looked around for a 
moment, then leaped on his mustang, and without 
saying a word, started off like mad, and scoured 
along the prairie. We watched him, gradually 
diminishing in size, until he seemed no larger than 
a rat, and finally disappeared in the distance. I 
was amazed, and thought to be sure the man was 
crazy ; and Thimblerig, who continued his game, 



144 COLOXEL CROCKETT'S 

responded that he was unquestionably out of his 
head. 

Shortly after the Bee hunter had disappeared we 
heard a noise something like the rumbling of dis- 
tant thunder. The sky was clear, there were no 
signs of a storm, and we concluded it could not 
proceed from that cause. On turning to the west 
we saw an immense cloud of dust in the distance, 
but could perceive no object distinctly, and still 
the roaring continued. ^' What can all this mean ?'' 
said I. " Burn my old shoes if I know," said the 
conjurer, gathering up his thimbles, and at the 
same time cocking his large Vicksburger fiercely 
on his head. We continued looking in the direc- 
tion whence the sound proceeded, the cloud of dust 
became thicker and thicker, and the roaring more 
distinct — much louder than was ever heard in the 
White House at Washington. 

We 'at first imagined that it was a tornado, but 
whatever it was, it was coming directly toward 
the spot where we stood. Our mustangs had ceased 
to graze, and cocked up their ears in evident alarm. 
We ran and caught them, took off the hobbles, and 
rode into the grove of trees ; still the noise grew 
louder and louder. We had scarcely got under 
the shelter of the grove before the object ap- 
proached near enough for us to ascertain what it 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 145 

was. It was a herd of bulTalo, at least four or five 
hundred in number, dashhig along as swift as the 
wind, and roaring as if so many devils had broke 
loose. They passed near the grove, and, if we had 
not taken shelter there, we should have been in 
great danger of being trampled to death. My pqor 
little mustang shook worse than a politician about 
to be turned out of office, as the drove came sweep- 
ing by. At their head, apart from the rest, was a 
black bull, who appeared to be their leader ; he 
came roaring along, his tail straight an end, and 
at times tossing up the earth with his horns. 
I never felt such a desire to have a crack at any 
thing in all my life. He drew nigh the place 
where I was standing; I raised my beautiful Betsey 
to my shoulder, took deliberate aim, blazed away, 
and he roared, and suddenly stopped. Those that 
were near him did so likewise, and the concussion 
occasioned by the impetus of those in the rear was 
such, that it was a miracle that some of them did 
not break their legs or necks. The black bull 
stood for a few moments pawing the ground after 
he was shot, then darted off around the cluster of 
trees, and made for the uplands of the prairies. 
The whole herd followed, sweeping by like* a tor- 
nado, and I do say, I never witnessed a more beau- 
tiful sight to the eye of a hunter in all my life. 
13 



146 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

Bear hunting is no more to be compared to it than 
Colonel Benton is to Henry Clay. I watched them 
for a few moments, then clapped spurs to my mus- 
tang and followed in their wake, leaving Thimble- 
rig behind me. 

I followed on the trail of the herd for at least 
two hours, by which time the moving mass ap- 
peared like a small cloud in the distant horizon.' 
Still, I followed, my whole mind absorbed by the 
excitement of the chase, until the object was en- 
tirely lost in the distance. I now paused to allow 
my mustang to breathe, who did nbt altogether 
fancy the rapidity of my movements, and to con- 
sider which course I would have to take to regain 
the path I had abandoned. I might have retraced 
my steps by following the trail of the buffalos, but 
it has always been my principle to go ahead, and 
so I turned to the west and pushed forward. 

I had not rode more than an hour before I found 
that I was as completely bewildered as " the Go- 
vernment" was when he entered upon an examina- 
tion of the Post office accounts. I looked around, 
and there was, as far as the eye could reach, spread 
before me a country apparently in the highest state 
of cultivation. Extended fields, beautiful and pro- 
ductive, groves of trees cleared from the under- 
wood, and whose margins were as regular as if the 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 147 

art and taste of man had been employed upon them. 
But there was no other evidence that the sound of 
the axe, or the voice of man, had ever here dis- 
turbed the solitude of nature. My eyes would 
have cheated my senses into the belief that I was 
in an earthly paradise, but my fears told me that I 
was in a wilderness. 

I pushed along, following the sun, for I had no 
compass to guide me, and there was no other path 
than that which my mustang made. Indeed, if I 
had found a beaten track, I should have been alm.ost 
afraid to have followed it; for my friend the Bee 
hunter had told me, that once, when he had been 
lost in the prairies, he had accidentally struck into 
his own path, and had travelled around and around 
for a whole day before he discovered his error. 
This I thought was a poor way of going ahead; so 
I determined to make for the first large stream, and 
follow its course. 

I had travelled several hours without seeing the 
trace of a human being, and even game was almost 
as scarce as Benton's mint drops, except just about 
election time, and I began to wish that I had fol- 
lowed the advice of my companions. I v/as a good 
deal bothered to account for the abrupt manner in 
which the Bee hunter had absconded; and I felt 
concerned for the poor thimble conjurer, who was 



148 

left alone, and altogether unaccustomed to the diffi- 
culties that he would have to encounter. While 
my mind was occupied with these unpleasant re- 
flections,! was suddenly startled by another novelty 
quite as great as that I have just described. 

I had just emerged from a beautiful grove of 
trees, and was entering upon an extended prairie, 
which looked like the luxuriant meadows of a 
thrifty farmer ; and as if nothing should be wanting 
to complete the delusion, but a short distance be- 
fore me, there was a drove of about one hundred 
beautiful horses quietly pasturing. It required some 
effort to convince my mind that man had no agency 
in this. But when I looked around, and fully rea- 
lized it all, I thought of him who had preached to 
me in the wilds of the Arkansas, and involuntarily 
exclaimed, "God, what hast thou not done for man, 
and yet how little he does for thee ! Not even 
repays thee with gratitude !" 

I entered upon the prairie. The mustangs no 
sooner espied me than they raised their heads, 
whinnied, and began coursing around me in an 
extended circle, which gradually became smaller 
and smaller, until they closely surrounded me. 
My little rascally mustang enjoyed the sport, and 
felt disposed to renew his acquaintance with his 
wild companions; first turning his head to one, 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 149 

then to another, playfully hiting the neck of tliis 
one, rul)l)ing noses with that one, and kicking up 
his heels at a third. I began to feel rather uncom- 
fortable, and plied the spur pretty briskly to get 
out of the mess, but he was as obstinate as the 
"old Roman" himself, who will be neither led nor 
driven. I kicked, and he kicked, but fortunately 
he became tired first, and he made one start, intend- 
ing to escape from the annoyance if possible. As 
I had an annoyance to escape from likewise, I beat 
the devil's tattoo on his ribs, that he might have 
some music to dance to, and we went ahead right 
merrily, the whole drove following in our wake, 
head up, and tail and mane streaming. My little 
critter, who was both blood and bottom, seemed 
delighted at being at the head of the heap; and 
having once got fairly started, I wish I may be 
shot if I did not find it impossible to stop him. 
He kept along, tossing his head proudly, and occa- 
sionally neighing, as much as to say, " Come on, 
my hearties, you see I ha'n't forgot our old amuse- 
ment yet." And they did come on with a venge- 
ance, clatter, clatter, clatter, as if so many fiends 
had broke loose. The prairie lay extended before 
me as far as the eye could reach, and I began to 
think that there would be no end to the race. 
My little animal was full of tire and mettle, and 
13* 



150 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

as it was the first bit of genuine sport that he had 
had for some time, he appeared determined to make 
the most of it. He kept the lead for full half an 
hour, frequently neighing as if in triumph and 
derision. I thought of John Gilpin's celebrated 
ride, but that was child's play to this. The proverb 
says, "The race is not always to the swift, nor the 
battle to the strong," and so it proved in the pre- 
sent instance. My mustang was obliged to carry 
weight, while his competitors were as free as nature 
had made them. A beautiful bay, who had trod 
close upon my heels the whole way, now came 
side by side with my mustang, and we had it hip 
and thigh for about ten minutes, in such style as 
would have delighted the heart of a true lover of the 
turf. I now felt an interest in the race myself, and 
for the credit of my bit of blood, determined to win 
if it was at all in the nature of things. I plied the 
lash and spur, -^nd the little critter took it quite 
kindly, and tossed his head, and neighed, as much 
as to say, " Colonel, I know what you're after — 
Go ahead !" — and he cut dirt in beautiful style, I 
tell you. 

This could not Inst for ever. At length my 
competitor darted ahead, somewhat the same way 
that Adam. Huntsman served me last election, 
except that there was no gouging; and my little 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 151 

fellow was compelled to clatter after his tail, like a 
needy politician after an office holder when he wants 
his influence, and which my mustang found it quite 
as difficult to reach. He hung on like grim death 
for some time longer, hut at last his ambition began 
to flag; and having lost ground, others seemed to 
think that he was not the mighty critter he was 
cracked up to he, no how, and they tried to out- 
strip him also. A second shot ahead, and kicked 
up his heels in derision as he passed us; then a 
third, a fourth, and so on, and even the scrubbiest 
little rascal in the whole drove was disposed to 
have a fling at their broken down leader. A true 
picture of politicians and their truckling followers, 
thought I. We now followed among the last of 
the drove until we came to the banks of the Nava- 
sola river. The foremost leaped from the margin 
into the rushing stream, the others, politician like, 
followed him, though he would lead them to de- 
struction ; but my wearied animal fell on the 
banks, completely exhausted with fatigue. It was 
a beautiful sight to see them stemming the torrent, 
ascend the opposite bank, and scour over the plain, 
having been refreshed by the wateV. I relieved 
my wearied animal from the saddle, and employed 
what means were in my power to restore him. 



152 



CHAPTER XI. 

After toiling for more than an hour to get my 
mustang upon his feet again, I gave it up as a 
bad job, as little Van did when he attempted to 
raise himself to the moon by the waistband of his 
breeches. Night was fast closing in, and as T 
began to think that I had had just about sport 
enough for one day, I might as well look around 
for a place of shelter for the night, and take a fresh 
start in the morning, by which time I was in 
hopes my horse would be recruited. Near the 
margin of the river a large tree had been blown 
down, and I thought of making my lair in its top, 
and approached it for that purpose. While beating 
among the branches I heard a low growl, as much 
as to say, " Stranger, the apartments are already 
taken." Looking about to see what sort of a bed- 
fellow I was likely to have, I discovered, not more 
than five or six paces from me, an enormous Mexi- 
can cougar eyeing me as an epicure surveys the 
table before he selects his dish, for I have no doubt 
the cougar looked upon me as the subject of a 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 153 

future supper. Rays of light darted from his large 
eyes, he showed his teeth like a negro in hysterics, 
and he was crouching on his haunches, ready for a 
spring; all of which convinced me that unless I 
was pretty quick upon the trigger, posterity would 
know little of the termination of my eventful 
career, and it would be far less glorious and useful 
than I intend to make it. 

One glance satisfied me that there was no time 
to be lost, as Pat thought when falling from a 
church steeple, and exclaimed, " This would be 
mighty pleasant, how, if it would only last," — but 
there w^s no retreat, either for me or the cougar, 
so I levelled my Betsey, and blazed away. The 
report was followed by a furious growl, (which is 
sometimes the case in Congress,) and the next 
moment, when I expected to find the tarnal critter 
struggling with death, I beheld him shaking his 
head as if nothing more than a bee had stung him. 
The ball had struck him on the forehead, and 
glanced ofi', doing no other injury than stunning 
him for an instant, and tearing off the skin, which 
tended to infuriate him the more. The cougar 
wasn't long in making up his mind what to do, 
nor was I neither; but he would have it all his 
own way, and vetoed my motion to back out. I 
had not retreated three stej)S before he sprang at 



154 

me like a steamboat; I stepped aside, and as he lit 
upon the ground I struck him violently with the 
barrel of my rifle, but he didn't mind that, but 
wheeled round and made at me again. The gun 
was now of no use, so I threw it away, and drew 
my hunting knife, for I knew we should come to 
close quarters before the fight would be over. 
This time he succeeded in fastening on my left 
arm, and was just beginning to amuse himself by 
tearing the flesh off with his fangs, when I ripped 
my knife into his side, and he let go his hold much 
to my satisfaction. 

He wheeled about and came at me with increased 
fury, occasioned by the smarting of his wounds. I 
now tried to blind him, knowing that if I succeeded 
he would become an easy prey; so as he approached 
me I watched my opportunity, and aimed a blow 
at his eyes with my knife, but unfortunately it 
struck him on the nose, and he paid no other atten- 
tion to it than by a shake of the head and a low 
growl. He pressed me close, and as I was stepping 
backward my foot tripped in a vine, and I fell to 
the ground. He was down upon me like a night- 
hawk upon a June bug. He seized hold of the 
outer part of my right thigh, which afforded him 
considerable amusement ; the hinder part of his 
body was toward my face ; I grasped his tail with 



ADVENTURES IN TEXA3. 155 

my left hand, and tickled his ribs with my hunting 
knife, which I held in my right. Still, the critter 
wouldn't let go his hold; and as I found that he 
would lacerate my leg dreadfully unless he was 
speedily shaken off, I tried to hurl him down the 
bank into the river, for our scuffle had already 
brought us to the edge of the bank. I stuck my 
knife into his side, and summoned all my strength 
to throw him over. He resisted, was desperate 
heavy ; but at last I got him so far down the 
declivity that he lost his balance, and he rolled 
over and over until he landed on the margin of 
the river; but in his fall he dragged me along with 
him. Fortunately I fell uppermost, and his neck 
presented a fair mark for my hunting knife. With- 
out allowing myself time even to draw breath, I 
aimed one desperate blow at his neck, and the 
knife entered his gullet up to the handle, and 
reached his heart. He struggled for a few mo- 
ments, and died. I have had many fights with 
bears, but that was mere child's play ; this was 
the first fight ever I had with a cougar, and I hope 
it may be the last. 

I now returned to the tree top to see if any one 
else would dispute my lodging; but now I could 
take peaceable and quiet possession. I parted 
some of the branches, and cut away others to 



156 

make a bed in the opening; I then gathered a 
quantity of moss, which hung in festoons from 
the trees, which I spread on the litter, and over 
this I spread my horse blanket ; and I had as 
comfortable a bed as a weary man need ask for. 
I now took another look at my mustang, and from 
all appearances he would not live until morning, 
I ate some of the cakes that little Kate of Nacog- 
doches had made for me, and then carried my 
saddle into my tree top, and threw myself down 
ilpon my bed, with no very pleasant reflections at 
the prospect before me. 

I was weary, and soon fell asleep, and did not 
awake until daybreak the next day. I felt some- 
what stiflf and sore from the wounds I had received 
in the conflict with the cougar; but I considered 
myself as having made a lucky escape. I looked 
over the bank, and as I saw the carcass of the 
cougar lying there, I thought that it was an even 
chance that we had not exchanged conditions ; and 
I felt grateful that the fight had ended as it did. 
I now went to lock after my mustang, fully expect- 
ing to find him as dead as the cougar ; but what 
was my astonishment to find that he had disap- 
peared without leaving trace of hair or hide of 
him. I first supposed that some beasts of prey 
had consumed the poor critter ; but then they 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 157 

wouldn't have eaten his bones ; and he had vanish- 
ed as effectually as the depositcs, without leaving 
any mark of the pourse they had taken. This 
bothered me amazing ; I couldn't figure it out by 
any rule that I had ever heard of, so I concluded 
to think no more about it. 

I felt a craving for something to eat, and looking 
around for some game, I saw a flock of geese on 
the shore of the river. I shot a fine fat gander, 
and soon stripped him of his feathers; and gather- 
ing some light wood, I kindled a fire, run a long 
stick through my goose, for a spit, and put it down 
to roast, supported by two sticks with prongs. I 
had a desire for some coffee ; and having a tin cup 
with me, I poured the paper of ground coffee that 
I had received from the Bee hunter into it, and 
made a strong cup, whLch was very refreshing. 
Off of my goose and biscuit I made a hearty meal, 
and was preparing to depart, without clearing up 
the breakfast things, or knowing which direction 
to pursue, when I was somewhat taken aback by 
another of the wild scenes of the west. I heard a 
sound like the trampling of many horses, and I 
thought to be sure the mustangs or buffilos were 
coming upon me again ; but on raising my head I 
beheld in the distance about fifty mounted Cuman- 
ches, with their spears glittering in the morning 
14 



158 COLONEL CROCKETT^S 

sun, dashing toward the spot where I stood at full 
speed. Asihe column advanced it divided, accord- 
ing to their usual practice, into two semicircles, 
and in an instant I was surrounded. Quicker than 
thought I sprang to my rifle, but as my hand grasped 
it, I felt that resistance against so many would be 
of as little use as pumping for thunder in dry 
weather. 

The chief was for making love to my beautiful 
Betsey, but I clung fast to her, and assuming an 
air of composure, I demanded whether their nation 
was at war with the Americans. " No," was the 
reply. " Do you like the Americans ?" " Yes, 
they are our friends." " Where do j-ou get your 
spear heads, your rifles, your blankets, and your 
knives from ?" " Get them from our friends, the 
Americans." "Well, do you think if you were 
passing through their nation, as I am passing 
through yours, they would attempt to rob you of- 
your property ?" " No, they would feed me, and 
protect me; and the. Cumanche will do the same 
by his white brother." 

I now asked him what it was had directed him 
to the spot where I was, and he told me, that 
they had seen the smoke from a great distance, 
and had come to see the cause of it. He inquired 
what had brought me there alone ; and I told him 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 159 

that I had come to hunt, and that iny mustang 
had become exhausted, ^nd though I thought he 
was about to die, that he had escaped from me ; at 
which the chief gave a low chuckling laugii, and 
said it was all a trick of the mustang, which is the 
most wily and cunning of all animals. But he 
said that as I was a brave hunter he would furnish 
me with another; he gave orders, and a fine young 
horse was immediately brought forward. 

When the party approached there were three 
old squaws at their head, who made a noise with 
their nwuths, and served as trumpeters. I now 
told the chief that, as I now had a horse, I would 
go for my saddle, which was in the place where 
I had slept. As I approached the spot I discovered 
one of the squaws devouring the remains of my 
roasted gooSe, but my saddle and bridle were no- 
where to be found. Almost in despair of seeing 
them again, I observed, in a thicket at a little dis- 
tance, one of the trumpeters kicking and belabour- 
ing her horse to make him move off, while the 
sagacious beast would not move a step from the 
troop. .1 followed her, and, thanks to her restive 
mustang, secured my property, which the chief 
made her restore to me. Some of the warriors 
had by this time discovered the body of the cougar, 
and had already commenced skinning it; and see- 



160 

ing how many stabs were about it, I related to the 
chief the desperate struggle I had had ; he said, 
** Brave hunter, brave man," and wished me to be 
adopted into his tribe, but I respectfully declined 
the honour. He then offered to see me on my 
way ; and I asked him to accompany me to the 
Colorado river, if he was going in that direction, 
which he agreed to do. I put my saddle on my 
fresh horse, mounted, and we darted off, at a rate 
not much slower than I had rode the day previous 
with the wild herd, the old squaws at the head of 
the troop braying like young jackasses the whole 
way. 

About three hours after starting we saw a drove 
of mustangs quietly pasturing in the prairie at a 
distance. One of the Indians immediately got his 
lasso ready, which was a long rope made of hide 
plaited like whip cord, with an iron ring at 
one end, through which the rope was passed so as 
to form a noose ; and thus prepared, he darted 
ahead of the troop to make a capture. They 
allowed him to approach pretty nigh, he all the 
time flourishing his lasso ; but before he got within 
reaching distance, they started off at a brisk canter, 
made two or three wide circuits around him, as 
if they would spy-out what he was after, then 
abruptly changed their course, and disappeared. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 161 

One mustang out of all the drove remained stand- 
ing quietly ; tlie Indian made up to him, threw 
the lasso, hut the mustang dodged his head hctwecn 
his fore legs, and escaped the noose, but" did not 
attempt to escape. The Indian then rode up to 
him, and the horse very patiently submitted while 
he j)ut a brklle on him, and secured him. Wl^n 
I approached, I immediately recognised in the 
captive the pestilent little animal that had shammed 
sickness and escaped from me the day before ; and . 
when he caught my eye he cast down his head 
and looked rather sheepish, as if he were sensible 
and ashamed of the dirty trick he had played me. 
I expressed my astonishment to the Indian chief 
at the mustang's allowing himself to be captured 
without an effort to escape ; and he told me, that 
they are generally hurled to the ground with such 
violence when first taken with the lasso, that they 
remember it ever after, and that the sight of it will 
subdue them to submission, though they may have 
run wild for years. Just so with an office holder, 
who, being kicked out, turns patriot — shake- a 
commission at him, and the fire of his patriotism 
usually escapes in smoke. 

We travelled all day, and toward evening we 
came across a small drove of buffalos ; and it was a 
beautiful sight to behold with what skill the Indians 
14* 



162 

hunted down this noble game. There are no 
horsemen who ride more gracefully than the 
Cumanches ; and they sit so closely, and hold 
such absolute control over the horse, that he 
seems to be part of their ow^n person. I had the 
good fortune' to bring down a young heifer, and as 
it was the only beef that we killed, the chief again 
complimented me as being a brave hunter ; and 
while they were preparing the heifer for ou-r supper 
I related to him many of my hunting exploits, at 
which he manifested pleasure and much astonish- 
ment for an Indian. He again urged upon me to 
become one of the tribe. 

We made a hearty supper, hobbled our mus- 
tangs, which we turned into the prairie to graze, 
and then encamped for the night. I awoke about 
two hours before daybreak, and looking over the 
tract of country through which we had travelled, 
the sky w^as as bright and clear as if the sun had 
already risen. I watched it for some time without 
being able to account for it, and asked my friend, 
the chief, to explain, who told me that the prairie 
was on fire, and that it must have caught when we 
cooked our dinner. I have seen hundreds of acres 
of mountain timber on fire in my time, but this is 
the first time that I ever saw^ a prairie burning. 

Nothing of interest occurred until we reached 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 163 

the Colorado, and were following the river to the 
place where it crosses the road to Bexar, which 
place the Indians promised to conduct me to. We 
saw a light column of smoke ascending in the clear 
sky, and hastened toward it* It proceeded from a 
small cluster of trees near the river. When we 
came within five hundred yards of it, the warriors 
extended their line around the object, and the chief 
and myself cautiously approached it. When we 
came within eyeshot, what was my astonishment 
to discover a solitary man seated on the ground 
near the fire, so intent upon some pursuit that he 
did not perceive our approach. We drew nigh to 
him, and still he was unconscious of our approach. 
It was poor Thimbl'erig practising His game of 
thimbles upon the crown of his white Vicksburger. 
This is what I call the ruling passion most amazing 
strong. The chief shouted the war whoop, and 
suddenly the warriors came rushing in from all 
quarters, preceded by the old squaw trumpeters 
squalling like mad. The conjurer sprang to his 
feet, and was ready to sink into the earth when he 
beheld the ferocious looking fellows that surround- 
ed him. I stepped up, took him by the hand, and 
quieted his fears. I told the chief that he was a 
friend of mine, and I was very glad to have found 
him, for I was afraid that he had perished. I now 



164 

thanked him for his kindness in guiding me over 
the prairies, and gave him a large Bowie knife, 
which he said he would keep for the sake of the 
brave hunter. The whole squadron then wheeled 
off, and I saw them aio more. I have met with 
many polite men in my {ime, but no one who pos- 
sessed in a greater degree what may be called true 
spontaneous politeness than this Cumanche chief, 
always excepting Philip Hone, Esq., of New York, 
whom I look upon as the politest man I ever did 
see; for when he asked me to take a drink at his 
own side-board he turned his back upon me, that 
I mightn't be ashamed to fill as mxuch as I wanted. 
That was what I call doing the fair thing. 

Thimblerig was delighted at meeting me again, 
but it was some time before he recovered suffi- 
ciently from the cold sweat into which the sudden 
appearance of the Indians had thrown him to 
recount his' adventures to me. He said that he felt 
rather down-hearted when he found himself aban- 
doned both by the Bee hunter and myself, and he 
knew not which course to pursue; but after think- 
ing about the matter for two hours, he had made 
up his mind to retrace the road we had travelled 
over, and had mounted his mustang for that pur- 
pose, when he spied the Bee hunter laden with 
honey. The mystery of his abrupt departure was 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 165 

now fully accounted for; he had spied a solitary 
bee shaping its course to its hive, and at the mo- 
ment he couldn't control the ruling passion, but 
followed the bee without reflecting for a moment 
upon the difficulties and dangers that his thought- 
lessness might occasion his friends. 

I now asked him what had become of the Bee 
hunter, and he said that he had gone out in pursuit 
of game for their supper, and he expected that he 
would return shortly, as he had been absent at 
least an hour. While we were still speaking our 
friend appeared, bending under the weight of a 
wild turkey. He manifested great joy at meeting 
with me so unexpectedly ; and desiring the con- 
jurer to pluck the feathers off the bird, which he 
cheerfully undertook, for he said he had been 
accustomed to plucking pigeons, we set about 
preparing our supper. 

The position we occupied was directly on the 
route leading to Bexar, and at the crossings of the . 
Colorado. We were about to commence our sup- 
per, for the turkey was done in beautiful style, 
when the sound of a horse neighing startled us. 
We looked over the prairie, and beheld two men 
approaching on horseback, and both armed with 
rifles and knives. The Bee hunter said that it 
was time for us to be on our guard, for we should 



166 

meet, perhaps, more enemies than friends as soon 
as we crossed the river, and the new-comers were 
making directly for the spot we occupied ; but, as 
they were only two, it occasioned no uneasiness. 

As they drew nigh we recognised the strangers ; 
they turned out to be the old pirate and the Indian 
hunter who had lodged with us a few nights before. 
We hailed them, and on seeing us they alighted 
and asked permission to join our party, which we 
gladly agreed to, as our journey was becoming 
rather more perilous ever}'^ mile we advanced. 
They partook of our turkey, and as they had some 
small cakes of bread, which they threw into the 
general stock, w^e made a hearty supper ; and, after 
a battle song from the Bee hunter, we prepared to 
rest for the night. 

Early next morning we crossed the river, and 
pushed forward, for the fortress of Alamo. The 
old pirate was still as taciturn as ever, but his 
companion was talkative and in good spirits. I 
asked him where he had procured their mustangs, 
and he said that he had found them hobbled in 
Burnet's Grant just at a time that he felt very tired ; 
and as he believed that no one would lay claim to 
them at Bexar, he couldn't resist mounting one, 
and persuading his friend to mount the other. 

Nothing of interest- occurred untiF we came 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 167 

within about twenty miles of San Antonio. We 
were in the open prairie, and beheld a band pf 
about fifteen or twenty armed men approaching us 
at full speed. "Look out for squalls," said the 
old pirate, who had not spoken for an hour; "they 
are a scouting party of Mexicans." " And are 
three or four times our number," said Thimblerig. 
" No matter," replied the old man ; " they are 
convicts, jail birds, and cowardly ruffians, no doubt, 
who would tremble at a loud word as much as a 
mustang at the sight of the lasso. — Let us spread 
ourselves, dismount, and trust to our arms." 

We followed his orders, and stood beside our 
horses, which served to protect our persons, and 
we awaited the approach of the enemy. When 
they perceived this movement of ours, they check- 
ed their speed, appeared to consult together for a 
few minutes, then spread their line, and came 
within rifle shot of us. The leader called out to 
us in Spanish, but as I did not understand him, I 
asked the old man what it was, who said he called 
-upon us to surrender. 

"There will be a brush with those blackguards," 
continued the pirate. " Now each of you single 
out your man for the first fire, and they arc greater 
fools than I take them for if they give us a chance 
at a second. — Colonel, as you are a good shot, just 



1G8 COLONEL Crockett's, 

settle the business for that talking fellow with the 
red feather ; he's worth any three of the party." 

" Surrender, or we fire," shouted the fellow 
with the red feather in Spanish. 

" Fire, and be d d," returned the pirate, at 

the top of his voice, in plain English. 

And sure enough they took his advice, for the 
next minute we were saluted with a discharge of 
musketry, the report of which was sp loud that wc 
were convinced they all had fired. Before the 
smoke had cleared away we had each selected our 
man, fired, and I never did see such a scattering 
among their ranks as followed. We beheld several 
mustangs running wild w^ithout their riders over 
the prairie, and the balance of the company wer© 
already retreating at a more rapid gait than they 
approached. We hastily mounted, and commenced 
pursuit, which we kept up until we beheld the in- 
dependent flag flying from the battlements of the 
fortress of Alamo, our place of destination. The 
fugitives succeeded in evading our pursuit, and we 
rode up to the gates of the fortress, announced to 
the sentinel who we were, and the gates were 
thrown open ; and we entered amid shouts of 
welcome bestowed upon us by the patriots. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 169 



CHAPTER XII. 

The fortress of Alamo is at the town of Bexar, 
on the San Antonio river, which flows through the 
town. Bexar is about one hundred and forty miles 
from the coast, and contains upward of twelve 
hundred citizens, all native Mexicans, with the 
exception of a few American families who have 
settled there. Besides these there is a garrison 
of soldiers, and trading pedlars of every descrip- 
tion, who resort to it from the borders of the Rio 
Grande, as their nearest depot of American goods. 
A military outpost was established at this spot by 
the Spanish government in 171S. In 1731 the 
town was settled by emigrants sent out from the 
Canary Islands by the King of Spain. It became 
a flourishing settlement, and so continued until the 
revolution in IS 12, since which period the Cuman- 
che and other Indians have greatly harassed the 
inhabitants, producing much individual suffering, 
and totally destroying, for a season at least, the 
prospects of the town. Its site is one of the most 
beautiful in the western world. The air is salu- 
15 



170 

brious, the water delightful, especially when mixed 
with a little of the ardent, and the health of the 
citizens is proverbial. The soil around it is highly 
fertile, and well calculated for cotton and grain. 

The gallant young Colonel Travis, Avho com- 
mands the Texian forces in the fortress of Alamo, 
received m.e like a man ; and though he can barely 
muster one hundred and fifty efficient men, should 
Santa Anna make an attack upon ns, with the whole 
host of ruffians that the jNIexican prisons can dis- 
gorge, he will have snakes to eat before he gets 
over the wall, I tell you. But one spirit appears 
to animate the little band of patriots — and that is 
liberty, or death. To worship God according to 
the dictates of their own conscience, and govern 
themselves as freemen should be governed. 

All the world knows, by this time, that the town 
of Bexar, or, as some call it, San Antonio, was 
captured from the Mexicans by General Burlison, 
on the 10th day of December, 1835, after a severe 
struggle of five days and five nights, during which 
he sustained a loss of four men only, but the brave 
old Colonel Milam was among them. There were 
seventeen hundred men in the town, and the 
Texian force consisted of but two hundred and 
sixteen. The Mexicans had walled up the streets 
leading from the public square, intending to make 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 171 

a desperate resistance : the Texians however made 
an entrance, and valiantly drove them from house 
to house, until General Cos retreated to the castle 
of Alamo, without the city, and there hoisted the 
white flag, and seat out the terms of capitulation, 
which were as follows : 

General Cos is to retire within six daj'Sj'with 
his officers, arms, and private property, on parole 
of honour. He is not to oppose the re-estahlish- 
ment of the constitution of 1824. 

The infantry, and the cavalry, the remnant of 
Morale's battalion, and the convicts, to return, 
taking with them ten rounds of cartridge for safety 
against the Indians. 

All public property, money, arms, and ammu- 
nition, to be delivered to General Burlison, of the 
Texian army, — with some other stipulations in 
relation to the sick and wounded, private property, 
and prisoners of war. The Texians would not 
have acceded to them, preferring to storm him in 
his stronghold, but at this critical juncture they 
hadn't a single round of ammunition left, having 
fought from the 5th to the 9th of the month. 
General Ugartechea had arrived but the day before 
with three hundred troops, and the four hundred 
convicts mentioned above, making a reinforcement 
of seven hundred men ; but such rubbish was no 



172 

great obstacle to the march of freedom. The 
Mexicans lost about three hundred men during 
the siege, and the Texians had only four killed, 
and twenty wounded. The articles of capitulation 
being signed, we marched into the to\Yn, took 
possession of the fortress, hoisted the independent 
flag, and told the late proprietors to pack up their 
moveables and clear out in the snapping of a 
trigger, as we did not think our pockets quite safe 
w^ith so many jail birds around us. And this is 
the way the Alamo came into our possession ; but 
the way we shall maintain our possession of it will 
be a subject for the future historian to record, or 
my name's not Crockett. — I wish I may be shot 
if I don't go ahead to the last. 

I found Colonel Bowie, of Louisiana, in the 
fortress, a man celebrated for having been in more 
desperate personal conflicts than any other in the 
country, and whose name has been given to a 
knife of a peculiar construction, which is now in 
general use in the south-west. I was introduced 
to him by Colonel Travis, and he gave me a 
friendly welcome, and appeared to be mightily 
pleased that I had arrived safe. While we were 
conversing he had occasion to draw his famous 
knife to cut a strap, and I wish I may be shot if 
the bare sight of it wasn't enough to give a man 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 173 

of a squeamish stomach the cholic, specially before 
breakfast. lie saw I was admiring it, and said he, 
" Colonel, you might tickle a fellow's ribs a long 
time with this little instrument before you'd make 
him laugh; and many a time have I seen a man 
puke at the idea of the point touching the pit of 
his stomach.'* 

My companions, the Bee hunter and the conju- 
rer, joined us, and the colonel appeared to know 
them both very, w^ell. He had a high opinion of 
the Bee hunter, for turning to me, he said, " Colo- 
nel, you could not have had a braver, better, or 
more pleasant fellow for a companion than honest 
Ned here. With fifteen hundred such men I 
would undertake to march to the city of Mexico, 
and occupy the seat of Santa Anna myself before 
three months should elapse." 

The colonel's life has been marked by constant 
peril and deeds of daring. A few years ago he 
went on a hunting excursion into the prairies of 
Texas, with nine companions. They were attacked 
by a roving paTty of Cumanches, about two hun- 
dred strong, and such was the science of the colo- 
nel in this sort of wild warfare, that after killing 
a considerable number of the enemy, he fairly 
frightened the remainder from the field of action, 
and they fled in ulter dismay. The fight took 
15* 



174 COLONEL Crockett's 

place among the high grass in the open prairie. 
He ordered his men to dismount from their horses 
and scatter; to take deliberate aim before they 
fired, but as soon as they had discharged their 
rifles, to fall flat on the ground and crawl away 
from the spot, and reload their pieces. By this 
scheme they not only escaped the fire of the In- 
dians, but by suddenly discharging their guns 
from another quarter, they created the impression 
that their party . was a numerous one ; and the 
Indians, finding that they wgre fighting against an 
invisible enemy, after losing about thirty of their 
men, took to flight, believing themselves lucky in 
having escaped with no greater loss. But one of 
the colonel's party was slightly wounded, and that 
was owing to his remaining to reload his rifle 
without having first shifted his position. 

Santa Anna, it is said, roars like an angry lion 
at the disgraceful defeat that his brother-in-law, 
General Cos, lately met with at this place. It is 
rumoured that he has recruited a large force, and 
commenced his march to San Louis de Potosi, and 
he is determined to carry on a war of extermina- 
tion. He is liberal in applying his epithets to our 
countrymen in Texas, and denounces them as a 
set of perfidious wretches, whom the compassion 
of the generous Mexicans has permitted to take 



Adventures in texas. 175 

refuge in their country; and who, like the serpent in 
the fable, no sooner warmed themselves than they 
stung their benefactors. This is a good joke. — 
By what title does Mexico lay claim to all the 
territory Which belonged to Spain in North Ame- 
rica ? Each province or state of New Spain con- 
tended separately or jointly, just as it happened, 
for their independence, as we did, and were not 
united under a general government representing 
the whole of the Spanish possessions, which was 
only done afterward by mutual agreement or fede- 
ration. Let it be remembered that the Spanish 
authorities were first expelled from Texas by the 
American settlers, who, from the treachery of their 
Mexican associates, were unable to retain it ; but 
the second time they were more successful. They 
certainly had as good a right to the soil thus con- 
quered by them, as the inhabitants of other pro- 
vinces who succeeded against Spain. The Mexi- 
cans talk of the ingratitude of the Americans ; the 
truth is, that the ingratitude has been on the other 
side. What was the war of Texas, in 1813, when 
the revolutionary spark was almost extinguished in 
Mexico ? What was the expedition of Mina, and 
his three hundred x\merican Spartans, who perished 
heroically in the very heart of Mexico, in the vain 
attempt to resuscitate and keep alive the spark of 



176 

independence which has at this time kindled such 
an ungrateful blaze ? If a just estimate could be 
made of the lives and the treasures contributed by 
American enterprise in that cause, it would appear 
incredible. How did the Mexicans obtain their 
independence at last ? Was it by their own virtue 
and courage ? No,, it w^s by the treachery of one 
of the king's generals, who established himself by 
successful treason, and they have been in constant 
commotion ever since, which proves they are unfit 
to govern themselves, much less a free and en- 
lightened people at a distance of twelve hundred 
miles from them. 

The Mexican government, by its colonization 
laws, invited and induced the Anglo-American 
population of Texas to colonize its wilderness, 
under the pledged faith of a written constitution, 
that they should continue to enjoy that constitu- 
tional liberty and republican government to which 
they had been habituated in the land of their birth, 
the United States of America. In this expectation 
they have been cruelly disappointed, as the Mexi- 
can nation has acquiesced in the late changes made 
in the government by Santa Anna ; who, having 
overturned the constitution of this country, now 
offers the settlers the cruel alternative, either to 
abandon their homes, acquired by so many priva- 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 177 

tions, or submit to the most intolerable of all 
tyranny, the combined despotism of the sword 
and the priesthood. 

But Santa Anna charges the AAiericans with 
ingratitude! This is something like Satan reviling 
sin. I have gathered some particulars of the life 
of this moral personage from a gentleman at present 
in the Alamo, and who is intimately acquainted 
with him, which I will copy into my book exactly 
as lie wrote it. 

Santa Anna is about forty-two years of age, and 
was born in the city of Vera Cruz. His father 
was a Spaniard, of old Spain, of respectable stand- 
ing, though poor ; his mother was a Mexican. He 
received a common education, and at the age of 
thirteen or fourteen was taken into the military 
family of the then Intendant of Vera Cruz, Gene- 
ral Davila, who took a great fancy to him, and 
brought him up. He remained with General Da- 
vila until about the year 1820. While with Davila 
he was made a major, and when installed he took 
the honours very coolly, and on some of his friends 
congratulating him, he said, " If you were to make 
me a god, I should desire to be something greater.'' 
This trait, developed at so early a period of his life, 
indicated the existence of that vaulting ambition 
which has ever since characterized his life. 



178 

After serving the Spanish royal cause until 1821, 
he left Vera Cruz, turned against his old master 
and benefactor, and placed himself at the head of 
some irregula? troops which he raised on the sea- 
coast near Vera Cruz, and which are called Jaro- 
chos in their language, and which were denominated 
by him his Cossacks, as they are all mounted and 
armed with spears. With this rude cavalry he 
besieged Vera Cruz, drove Davila into the castle 
of San Juan d'Ulloa, and after having been repulsed 
again entered at a subsequent period, and got enth-e 
possession of the city, expelling therefrom the old 
Spanish troops, and reducing the power of the 
mother country in Mexico to the walls of the 
castle. 

Subsequent to this, Davila is said to have ob- 
tained an interview with Santa Anna, and told hirii 
he was destined to act a prominent part in the 
history of his country. "And now," says he, "I 
wall give you some advice : always go with the 
strongest party." He always acted up to this 
motto until he raised the grito, (or cry,) in other 
words, took up the cudgels for the friars and 
church. He then overturned the federal govern- 
ment, and established a central despotism, of which 
the priests and the military were the two privi- 
leged oi-ders. His life has been, from the first, of 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 179 

the most romantic kind ; constantly in revolutions, 
constantly victorious. 

His manners are extremely affable ; he is full of 
anecdote and humour, and makes himself exceed- 
ingly fascinating and agreeable to all who come 
into his company ; he is about five feet ten, rather 
spare, has a moderately high" forehead, with black 
hair, short black whiskers, without mustachios, and 
an eye large, black, and expressive of a lurking 
devil in his look; he is a man of genteel and dig- 
nified deportment, but of a disposition perfectly 
heartless. He married a Spanish lady of property, 
a native of Alvarado, and through that marriage 
obtained the first part of his estate, called Manga 
de Clavo, six leagues from Vera Cruz. He has 
three fine children, yet quite young. 

The following striking anecdote of Santa Anna 
illustrates his peculiar quickness and management: 
During.^the revolution of 1S29, while he was shut 
up in Oxaca, and surrounded by the government 
troops, and reduced to the utmost straits for the 
want of money and provisions, having a verj^ small 
force, there had been, in consequence of the siege 
and firing every day through the streets, no mass 
for several weeks. He had no money, and hit 
upon the following expedient to get it: he took 
possession of one of the convents, got hold of the 



180 COLONEL CROCKETT S 

wardrobe of the friars, dressed his officers and 
some of his soldiers in it, and early in the morning 
had the bells rung for the mass. The people, de- 
lighted at having again an opportunity of adoring 
the Supreme Being, flocked to the church where he 
was ; and after the house was pretty well filled^his 
friars showed their side-arms and bayonets from 
iDeneath their cowls, and closed the doors upon the 
assembled multitude. At this unexpected denoue- 
ment there was a tremendous shrieking, when one 
of his officers ascended the pulpit, and told the peo- 
ple that he wanted ten thousand dollars, and must 
have it. He finally succeeded in getting about 
thijty-six hundred dollars, when he dismissed the 
congregation. 

As a sample of Santa Anna's pious whims we 
relate the following : 

In the same campaign of Oxaca, Santa Anna and 
his officers were there besieged by Rincon, who 
commanded the government troops. Santa Anna 
was in a convent surrounded by a -small breast- 
work. Some of the officers one night, to amuse 
themselves, took the wooden saints out of the 
church and placed them as sentries, dressed in uni- 
forms, on the breastwork. Rincon, alarmed on 
the morning at this apparent boldness, began to 
fire away at the wooden images, supposing them 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 181 

to be flesh and blood ; and it was not until some 
of the officers who were not in the secret had 
implored Santa Anna to prevent this desecration 
that the firing ceased. 

Many similar facts are related of him. He is, 
in fact, all things to all men ; and yet, after his 
treachery to Davila, he has the impudence to talk 
about ingratitude. He never was out of Mexico. 
If I only live to tree him, and take him prisoner, 
I shall ask for no more glory in this life. 



16 



1S2 



CHAPTER XIIL 

I WRITE this on the nineteenth of February, 
1836, at San Antonio. We are all in high spirits, 
though we are rather short of provisions, for men 
who have appetites that could digest any thing but 
oppression ; but no matter, we have a prospect of 
soon getting our bellies full of fighting, and that is 
victuals and drink to a true patriot any day. We 
had a little sort of convivial party last evening : 
just about a dozen of us set to work, most pa- 
trioticall}^, to see whether we could not get rid of 
that curse of the land, whisky, and we made con- 
siderable progress ; but my poor friend. Thimble- 
rig, got sewed up just about as tight as the eyelet- 
hole in a lady's corset, and a little tighter too, I 
reckon ; for when we went to bed he called for a 
boot-jack, which was brought to him, and he bent 
down on his hands and knees, and very gravely 
pulled off his hat with it, for the darned critter 
was so thoroughly swiped that he didn't know his 
head from his heels. But this wasn't all the folly 
he committed : he pulled off his coat and laid it 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 1S3 

on the bed, and then hung himself over the back 
of a chair ; and I wish I may be shot if he didn't 
go to sleep in that position, thinking every thing 
had been done according to Gunter's late scale. 
Seeing the poor fellow completely used up, I car- 
ried him to bed, though he did belong to the Tem- 
perance society ; and he knew nothing about what 
had occurred until I told him next morning. The 
Bee hunter didn't join us in this blow-out. In- 
deed, he will seldom drink more than just enough 
to prevent his being called a total abstinence man. 
But then he is the most jovial fellow for a water 
drinker I ever did see. 

This morning I saw a caravan of about fifty 
mules passing by Bexar, and bound for Santa Fe. 
They were loaded with different articles to such a 
degree that it was astonishing how they could tra- 
vel at all, and they were nearly worn out by their 
labours. They were without bridle or halter, and 
yet proceeded with perfect regularity in a single 
line ; and the owners of the caravan rode their 
mustangs with their enormous spurs, weighing at 
least a pound a piece, with rowels an inch and a 
half in length, and lever bits of the harshest de- 
scription, able to break the jaws of their animals 
under a very gentle pressure. The men were 
dressed in the costume of Mexicans. Colonel 



184 

Travis sent out a guard to see that they were not 
laden with munitions of war for the enemy. I 
went out with the party. The poor mules were 
bending under a burden of more than three hun- 
dred pounds, without including the panniers, vvhich 
were bound so tight as almost to stop the breath 
of the poor animal. Each of the sorrowful line 
came up, spontaneously, in turn to have his girth 
unbound and his load removed. They seemed 
scarcely able to keep upon their feet, and as they 
successively obtained relief, one after another 
heaved a long and deep sigh, which it was painful 
to hear, because it proved that the poor brutes had 
been worked beyond their strength. What a 
world of misery man inflicts upon the rest of 
creation in his brief passage through life ! 

Finding that the caravan contained nothing in- 
tended for the enemy, we assisted the owners to 
replace the heavy burdens on the backs of the 
patient but dejected mules, and allowed them to 
pursue their w^eary and lonely way. For full two 
hours we could see them slowly winding along 
the narrow path, a faint line that ran like a thread 
through the extended prairie ; and finally they 
were whittled down to the litlle end of nothing 
in the distance, and were blotted out from the 
horizon. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 1S5 

The caravan had no sooner disappeared than one 
of the hunters, who had heen absent several days, 
came in. He was. one of those gentlemen who 
don't pride themselves much upon their costume, 
and reminded me of a covey who came into a 
tavern in New York when I was last in that city. 
He was dressed in five jackets, all of which failed 
to conceal his raggedness, and as he bolted in, he 
exclaimed, 

" Worse than I look, by . But no matter, 

Pve let mj^self for fourteen dollars a month, and 
find my own prog and lodging." 

" To do what ?" demanded the barkeeper. 

" To stand at the corner for ar^paper-mill sign — 
' cash for rags' — that's all. I'm about to enter 
upon the stationery business, you see." He tossed 
ofi'his grog, and bustled out to begin his day's work. 

But to return to the hunter. He stated that he 
had met some Indians on the banks of the Rio Frio, 
who informed him that Santa Anna, with a large 
force, had already crossed the Neuces, and might 
be expected to arrive before San Antonio in a few 
days. We immediately set about preparing to 
give him a warm reception, for we are all well 
aware, if our little band is overwhelmed by num- 
bers, there is little mercy to be expected from the 
cowardly Mexicans — it is war to the knife. 
16* 



186 COLONEL CROCKETT*S ' 

I jocosely asked the ragged hunter, who was a 
smart, active young fellow, of the steamboat and 
alligator breed, whether he was a rhinoceros or a 
hyena, as he was so eager for a fight with the in- 
vaders. " Neither the one, nor t'other, Colonel,'^ 
says he, ^' but a whole menagerie in myself. I'm 
shaggy as a bear, wolfish about the head, active as 
a cougar, and can grin like a hyena, until the bark 
will curl off a gum log. There's a sprinkling of 
all sorts in me, from the lion down to the skunk ; 
and before the war is over you'll pronounce me 
an entire zoological institute, or I miss a figure in 
my calculation. I promise to swallow Santa Anna 
without ga*gging, if you will only skewer back his 
ears, and grease his head a little." 

He told me that he was one in the fatal expedi- 
tion fitted out from New Orleans, in November 
last, to join the contemplated attack upon Tampico 
by Mehia and Peraza. They w^ere, in all, about 
one hundred and thirty men, who embarked as 
emigrants to Texas; and the terms agreed upon 
were, that it was optional whether the party took 
up arms in defence of Texas, or not, on landing. 
They were at full liberty to act as they pleased. 
But the truth was, Tampico was their destination, 
and an attack on that city the covet design, which 
was not made known before land was in sight 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 187 

The emigrants were landed, some fifty, who doubt- 
less had a previous understanding, joined the stan- 
dard of General Mehia, and the following day a 
formidable fort surrendered without an attack. 

The whole party were now tendered arms and 
ammunition, which even those who had been 
decoyed accepted; and, the line being formed, 
they commenced the attack upon the city. The 
hunter continued: "On the 15th of November 
our little army, consisting of one hundred and 
fifty men, marched into Tampico, garrisoned by 
two thousand Mexicans, who were drawn up in 
battle array in the public square of the city. We 
charged them at the point of the bayonet, and 
although they so greatly outnumbered us, in two 
minutes we completely routed them ; and they 
fled, taking refuge on the house tops, from which 
they poured a destructive fire upon our gallant 
little band. We fought them until daylight, when 
we found our number decreased to fifty or sixty 
broken down and disheartened men. Without 
ammunition, and deserted by the officers, twenty- 
eight immediately surrendered. But a few of us 
cut our way through, and fortunately escaped to 
the mouth of the river, where we got on board a 
vessel and sailed for Texas. 

" The twenty-eight pri sorters wished to be con* 



1S8 

sidered as prisoners of war ; they made known the 
manner in which they had been deceived, but they 
were tried by a court-martial of Mexican soldiers, 
and condemned to^be shot on the 14th day of De- 
cember, 1835, which sentence was carried into 
execution. '^ 

After receiving this account from my new friend, 
the old pirate and the Indian hunter came up, and 
they went oflf to liquor together, and I went to see 
a wild Mexican hog, w^hich one of the hunters had 
brought in. These animals have become scarce, 
which circumstance is not to be deplored, for their 
flesh is of little value ; and there will still be hogs 
enough left in Mexico, from all I can learn, even 
though these should be extirpated. 

February 22. The Mexicans, about sixteen 
hundred strong, with their President Santa Anna 
at their head, aided by Generals Almonte, Cos, 
Sesma, and Castrillon, are within two leagues of 
Bexar. General Cos, it seems, has already forgot 
his parole of honour, and has come back to retrieve 
the credit he lost in this place in December last. 
If he is captured a second time, I don't think he 
can have the impudence to ask to go at large again 
without giving better bail than on the former occa- 
sion. Some of the scouts came in, and bring re- 
ports that Santa Anna has been endeavouring to 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 189 

excite the Indians to hostilities against the Texians, 
but so far without effect. The Cumanches, in 
particular, entertain such hatred for the Mexicans, 
and at the same time hold them in such contempt, 
that they would rather turn their tomahawks 
against them, and drive them from the land, than 
lend a helping hand. We are up and doing, and 
as lively as Dutch cheese in the dog-days. Tlie 
two hunters that I have already introduced to the 
reader left the town, this afternoon, for the purpose 
of reconnoitring. 

February 23. Early this morning the enemy 
came in sight, marching in regular order, and dis- 
playing their strength to the greatest advantage, 
in order to strike us with terror. But that wgs 
no go ; they'll find that they have to do with men 
who will never lay down their arms as long as they 
can stand on their legs. We held a short council 
of war, and, finding that we should be completely 
surrounded, and overwhelmed by numbers, if we 
remained in the town, we concluded to withdraw 
to the fortress of Alamo, and defend it to the last 
extremity. We accordingly filed off, in good or- 
der, having some days before placed all the surplus 
provisions, arms, and ammunition in the fortress. 
We have had a large national flag made ; it is 
composed of thirteen stripes, red and white, alter- 



190 

nately, on a blue ground with a large white star,, 
of five points, in the centre, and between the 
points the letters Texas. As soon as all our little 
band, about one hundred and fifty in number, had 
entered and secured the fortress in the best possible 
manner, we set about raising our flag on the battle- 
ments ; on which occasion there was no one more 
active than my young friend, the Bee hunter. He 
had been all along sprightly, cheerful, and spirited, 
but now, notwithstanding 'the control that he 
usually maintained over himself, it was with diffi- 
culty that he kept his enthusiasm within bounds. 
As soon as we commenced raising the flag he burst 
forth, in a clear, full tone of voice, that made the 
blood tingle in the veins of all w^ho heard him : — 

*' Up with your banner, Freedom, 
Thy champions cling to thee ; 
They'll follow where'er you lead 'em, 

To death, or victory ; — 
Up with your banner, Freedom. 

Tyrants and slaves are rushing 

To tread thee in the dust ; «. 

Their blood will soon be gushing, 
And stain our knives with rust ; — 

But not thy banner. Freedom. 

While stars and stripes are flying. 

Our blood we'll freely shed ; 
No groan will 'scape the dying, 

Seeing thee o'er his head ; — 
Up with your banner, Freedom."' 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 191- 

This song was followed by three cheers from 
all within the fortress, and the drums and trumpets 
commenced playing. The enemy marched into 
Bexar, and took possession of the town, a blood- 
red flag flying at their head, to indicate that we 
need not expect quarters if we should fall into 
their clutches. In the afternoon a messenger was 
sent from the enemy to Colonel Travis, demanding 
an unconditional and absolute surrender of the 
garrison, threatening to put every man to the 
sword in case of refusal. The only answer he 
received was a cannon shot, so the messenger left 
us with a flea in his ear, and the Mexicans com- 
menced firing grenades at us, but without doing 
any mischief. At night Colonel Travis sent an 
express to Colonel Fanning, at Goliad, about three 
or four days' march from this place, to let him 
know that we are besieged. The old pirate volun- 
teered to go on this expedition, and accordingly 
left the fort after night fall. 

Febymary 24. Very early this morning the ene- 
my commenced ^a new battery on the banks of the 
river, about three hundred and fifty yards from the 
fort, and by afternoon they amused themselves by 
firing at us from that quarter. Our Indian scout 
came in this evening, and with him a reinforcement 
of thirty men from Gonzales, who are just in the nick 



192 

of time to reap a harvest of glory; but there is some 
prospect of sweating blood before we gather it in. 
An accident happened to my friend Thimblerig this 
afternoon. He w^as intent on his eternal game of 
thimbles, in a somewhat exposed position, while 
the enemy were bombarding us from the new 
redoubt. A three ounce ball glanced from the 
parapet and struck him on the breast, inflicting a 
painful but not dangerous wound. I extracted the 
ball, which was of lead, and recommended to him 
to drill a hole through it, and carry it for a watch 
seal, " No," he replied, with energy, " may I be 
shot six times if I do ; that would be making a 
bauble for an idle boast. No, Colonel, lead is 
getting scarce, and I'll lend it out at compound 
interest. — Curse the thimbles!" he muttered, and 
went his way, and I saw no more of him that 
evening. 

February 25. The firing commenced early 
this morning, but the Mexicans are poor engineers, 
for we haven't lost a single man, and our outworks 
have sustained no injury. Our sharp shooters have 
brought down a considerable number of stragglers 
at a long shot. I got up before the peep of day, 
hearing an occasional discharge of a rifle just over 
the place where I was sleeping, and I was some- 
what amazed to see Thimblerig mounted alone on 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 193 

the battlement, no one being on' duty at the time 
but the sentries. "What are you doing there?" 
says I. "Paying my debts," says he, "interest 
and all." " And how do you make out ?" says I. 
"I've nearly got through," says he; "stop a 
moment, Colonel, and Til close the account." He 
clapped his rifle to his shoulder, and blazed away, 
then jumped down from his perch, and said, "That 
account's settled ; them chaps will let me play out 
my game in quiet next time." I looked over the 
wall, and saw four Mexicans lying dead on the 
plain. I asked him to explain what he meant by 
paying his debts, and he told me that he had run 
the grape shot into four rifle balls, and that he had 
taken an early stand to have a chance of picking 
off stragglers. "Now, Colonel, let's go. take our 
bilters," said he; and so we did. The enemy 
have been busy during the night, and have thrown 
up two batteries on the opposite side of the river 
The battalion of Matamoros is posted there, and 
cavalry occupy the hills to the east and pn the 
road to Gonzales. Tliey are determined to sur- 
round us, and cut us off from reinforcement, or the 
possibility of escripe by a sortie. — Well, tliere's 
one thing they c-uinot prevent : we'll still go 
ahead, and sell our lives at a high price. 

February 26. Colonel Bowie has been taken 
17 



194 

sick from over exertion and exposure. He did 
not leave his bed to-day until twelve o'clock. He 
is worth a dozen common men in a situation like 
ours. The Bee hunter keeps the whole garrison 
in good heart with his songs and his jests, and his 
daring and determined spirit. He is about the 
quickest on the trigger, and the best rifle shot we 
have in the fort. I have alread}^ seen him bring 
down eleven of the enemy, and at such a distance 
that we all thought it would be waste of ammuni- 
tion to attempt it. His gun is first-rate, quite equal 
to my Betsey, though she has not quite as many 
trinkets about her. This day a small party sallied 
out of the fort for wood and water, and had a slight 
skirmish with three times their number from the 
division under General Sesma. The Bee hunter 
headed them, and beat the enemy off, after killing 
three. On opening his Bible at night, of which he 
always reads a portion before going to rest, he 
found a musket ball in the middle of it. " See 
here. Colonel," said he, ^* how they have treated 
the valued present of my dear little Kate of Na- 
cogdoches." "It has saved your life," said I. 
"True," replied he, more seriously than usual, 
"and I am not the first sinner whose life has been 
saved by this book." He prepared for bed, and 
before retiring he prayed, and returned thanks for 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 195 

his providential escape ; and I lieard the name of 
Catherine mingled in his prayer. 

February 27. The cannonading began early 
this morning, and "ten bombs were thrown into 
the fort, but fortunately exploded without doing 
any mischief. So far it has been a sort of. tempest 
in a teapot ; not unlike a pitched battle in the Hall 
of Congress, where the parties array their forces, 
make fearful demonstrations on both sides, then fire 
away with loud sounding speeches, which contain 
about as much meaning as the report of a howitzer 
charged with a blank cartridge. Provisions are 
becoming scarce, and the enemy are endeavouring 
to cut off our water. If they attempt to stop our 
grog in that manner, let them look out, for we shall 
become too wrathy for our shirts to hold us. We 
are not prepared to submit to an excise of that 
nature, and they'll find it-out. This discovery has 
created considerable excitement in the fort. 

February 28. Last night our hunters brought 
in some corn and hogs, and had a brush with a 
scout from the enemy beyond gun-shot of the fort. 
They put the scout to flight, and got in without 
injury. They bring accounts that the settlers are 
flying in all quarters, in dismay, leaving their pos- 
sessions to the mercy of the ruthless invader, who 
is literally engaged in a war of extermination, 



196 COLONEL Crockett's 

more brutal than the untutored savage of the desert 
could be guilty of. Slaughter is indiscriminate, 
sparing neither sex, age, nor condition, Buildings 
have been burnt down, farms laid waste, and Santa 
Anna appears determined to verify his threat, and 
convert the blooming paradise into a howling wil- 
derness. For just one fair crack at that rascal, 
even at a hundred yards distance, I would bargain 
to break my Betsey, and never pull trigger again. 
My name's not Crockett if I wouldn't get glory 
enough to appease my stomach for the remainder 
of my life. , The scouts report that a settler, by 
the name of Johnson, flying with his wife and 
three little children, when they reached the Colo- 
rado, left his family on the shore, and waded into 
the river to see whether it would be safe to ford 
with -his wagon. When about the middle of the 
river he was seized by an alligator, and, after a 
struggle, was dragged under the water, and perish- 
ed. The helpless woman and her babes were dis- 
covered, gazing in agony on the spot, by other 
fugitives who happily passed that way, and relieved 
them. Those who fight the battles experience but 
a small part of the privation, suffering, and anguish 
that follow in the train of ruthless w^ar. The can- 
nonading continued, at intervals, throughout the 
day, and all hands were kept up to their work. 



ADVENT UKES IN TEXAS. 197 

The enemy, somewhat imboldened, draws nighcr 
to tlie fort. So much the better. — There was a 
move in General"Sesma's division toward evening. 
February 29. Before daybreak we saw Gene- 
ral Sesma leave his camp with a large body of 
cavalry and infantry, and move off in the direction 
of Goliad. We think that he must have received 
news of Colonel Fanning's coming to our relief. 
We are all in high spirits at the prospect of being 
able to give the rascals a fair shake on the plain. 
This business of being shut up makes a man 
wolfish. — I had a little sport this morning before 
breakfast. The enemy had planted a piece of ordi- 
nance within gun-shot of the fort during the night, 
and the first thing in the morning they commenced 
a brisk cannonade, point-blank, against the spot 
where I was snoring. I turned out pretty smart, 
and mounted the rampart. The gun was charged 
again, a fellow stepped forth to touch her off, but 
before he could apply the match I let him have it, 
and he keeled over. A second stepped up, snatched 
the match from the hand of the dying man, but 
Thimblerigi who had followed me, handed me his 
rifle, and the next instant the Mexican was stretched 
on the earth beside the first. A third came up to 
the cannon, my companion handed me another gun, 
and I fixed him off in like manner. A fourth, tlien 
17* 



198 

a fifth, seized ^the match, who both met with the 
same fate, and then the whole party gave it up as 
a bad job, and hurried off to the camp, leaving the 
cannon ready charged where they had planted it. 
I came down, took my bitters, and went to break- 
fast. Thimblerig told me that the place from . 
w^hich I had been firing was one of the snuggest 
stands in the whole fort, for he never failed picking 
off two or three stragglers before breakfast, when 
perched up there. And I recollect, now, having 
seen him there, ever since he was wounded, the 
first thing in the morning, and the last at night, — 
and at times thoughtlessly playing at his eternal 
game. 

March 1. The enemy's forces have been in- 
creasing in numbers daily, notwithstanding they 
have already lost about three hundred men in the 
several assaults they have made upon us. I neg- 
lected" to mention in the proper place, that when 
the enemy came in sight we had but three bushels 
of corn in the garrison, but have since found 
eighty bushels in a deserted house. Colonel 
Bowie's illness still continues, but he manages to 
crawl from his bed every day, that his comrades 
may see him." His presence alone is a tower of 
strength. — The enemy becomes more daring as his 
numbers iecrease. 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 199 

March 2. This .day the {lelec!;atcs meet in 
general convention, at the town of Washington, to 
frame our Declaration of Independence. That the 
sacred instrument may never be trampled on hy 
the cliildren of those who have freely slied their 
blood to establish it, is the sincere wish of David 
Crockett. Universal independence is an almighty 
idea, far too extensive for some brains to compre- 
hend. It is a beautiful seed that germinates rapid- 
ly, and brings forth a large and vigorous tree, but 
like the deadly Upas, we sometimes fmd the 
srnaller plants wither and die in its shades. Its 
blooming branches spread far and wide, offering a 
perch of safety to all alike, but even among its 
protecting branches we find~the engle, 'the kite, 
and the owl preying upon the helpless dove and 
sparrow. Beneath its shade myriads congregate 
in goodly fellowship, but the lamb and the fnwn 
find but frail security from the lion and the jackal, 
though the tree of independence waves over them. 
Some imagine independence to be a natural charter, 
to exercise witliout restraint, and to tlicir fullest 
-extent, all the energies, both physical and mental, 
with which they have been endowed ; and for 
their individual agi2;randizement alone, without 
regard to the rights of others, provided they 
extend to all the same privilege and fi^eedoin 



200 

of action. Such independence is the worst of 
tyranny. 

March 3. We have given over all hopes of 
receiving assistance from Goliad or Refugio. Co- 
lonel Tra^'is harangued the garrison, and concluded 
by exhorting them, in case the enemy should carry 
the fort, to fight to the last gasp, and render their 
victory even more serious to them than to us. 
This was followed by three cheers. 

March 4. Shells have-been falling into the fort 
like hail during the day, but without effect. About 
dusk, in the evening, we observed a man run- 
ning toward the fort, pursued by about a dozen 
Mexican cavalry. The Bee hunter immediately 
knew him to be the old pirate who had gone to 
Goliad, and, calling to the two hunters, he sallied 
out of the fort to the relief of the old man, who 
was hard pressed. I followed close after. Before 
we reached the spot the Mexicans were close on 
the heel of the old man, who stopped suddenly, 
turned short upon his pursuers, discharged his 
rifle, and one of the enemy fell from his horse. 
The chase was renewed, but finding that he would 
be overtaken and cut to pieces, he now turned 
again, and, to the amazement of the enem}', became 
the assailant in his turn. He clubbed his gun, and 
dashed among them like -a wounded tiger, and 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 201 

they fledlike sparrows. By this time we reached 
Uie spot, and, in the ardour of the moment, iollowed 
some distance before we saw that our retreat to the 
fort was cut off by another detachment of cavahy. 
Nothing was to be done but to fight our way 
through. We were all of the same mind. "Go 
aliead!" cried I, and they shouted, "Go ahead, 
Colonel!" We dashed among them, and a bloody 
conflict ensued. They were about twenty in num- 
ber, and they stood their ground. After the fight 
had continued about five minutes, a detachment 
was seen issuing from the fort to our relief, and 
the Mexicans scampered off, leaving eiglit of their 
comrades dead upon the fiehh But we did not 
escape unscathed, for both the pirate and the Bee 
hunter were mortally wounded, and 1 received 
a sabre cut across the forehead. The old man 
died, without speaking, as soon as we entered the 
fort. We bore my young friend to his bed, dressed 
his wounds, and I watched beside him. He lay, 
without complaint or manifesting pain, until about 
midnight, when he spoke, and I asked him if he 
wanted any thing. "Nothing," he replied, but 
drew a sigh that seemed to rend his heart, as he 
added, "Poor Kate of Nacogdoches!" His eyes 
were filled with tears, as he continued, "Her words 
were prophetic. Colonel ;" and then he sang, in a 



202 COLONEL Crockett's 

low voice that resembled the sweet notes of his 
own devoted Kate, 

" But toom cam' the saddle, all bluidy to see, 
And hame cam' the steed, bat hame never cam' he." 

He spoke no more, and, a few minutes after, died. 
Poor Kate, who will tell, this to thee ! 

March 5. Pop, pop, pop ! Bom, bom, bom ! 
throughout the day. — No time for memorandums 
now. — Go ahead! — Liberty and independence for 
ever! 

[Here ends Col. CrocketVs 7nanuscript.~\ 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 203 



CHAPTER XIV. 

The hand is cold that vvl'ote the foregoing pages, 
and it devolves upon another to record the suhse- 
quent events. Before daybreak, on the Gth of 
March, the Alamo was assaulted by the whole 
force of the Mexican army, commanded by Santa 
Anna in person. The battle was desperate until 
daylight, when only six men belonging to the 
Texian garrison were found alive. They were 
instantly surrounded, and ordered, by General 
Castrillon, to surrender, which they did*, under a, 
promi.se of lus protection, finding that resistance 
any longer would be madness. Colonel Crockett 
was of the number. He stood alone in an angle 
of the fort, the barrel of his sliattered rifle in his 
right hand, in his left his huge Bowie knife dripping 
l)lood. There was a frightful gash across his fore- 
head, while around him there was a complete bar- 
rier of about twenty Mexicans, lying pell-mell, 
dead, and dying. At his feet lay the dead body 
of that well known cliaracter, designated in the 
Colonel's narrative by the assumed name of Thim- 



204 

blerig, his knife driven to the haft in the throat of 
a Mexican, and his left hand clenched in his hair. 
Poor fellow, I knew him well, at a time when he 
was possessed of many virtues, but of late j'ears the 
weeds hod choked up the flowers ; however. Colo- 
nel Crockett had succeeded in awakening in his 
bosom a sense of better things, and the poor fellow 
was grateful to the last, and stood beside his friend 
throughout ihe desperate havoc. 

General Castrillon was brave and not cruel, and 
disposed to save the prisoners. He marched them 
up to that part of the fort where stoed Santa Anna 
and his murderous crew% The steady, fearless 
step, and undaunted tread of Colonel Crockett on 
this occasion, together with the bold demeanour 
of the hardy veteran, had a poweiful effect on all 
present. Nothing daunted, he marched up boldly 
in front of Santa Anna, and looked hiiti sternlv in 
the face, while Castrillon addressed " his excel- 
lency," — "Sir, here are six prisoners I have taken 
alive ; how shall I dispose of them ?" Santa Anna 
looked at Castrillon fiercel}', flew into a violent 
rage, and replied, " Have I not told 3'ou before 
how to dispose of them ? Why do 3-ou bring them 
to me?" At the same time his brave officers 
plunged their svvords into the bosoms of their de- 
fenceless prisoners. Colonel Crockett, seeing the 



ADVENTURES #N TEXAS. 205 

act of treachery, instantly sjirang like a tiger at 
the ruffian chief, but before he could reach him a 
dozen swords were sheathed in his indomitable 
heart ; and he fell, and died without a groan, a 
frown on his brow, and a smile of scorn and defi- 
ance on his lips. Castrillon rushed from the scene, 
apparently horror-struck, sought his quarters, and 
did not leave them for several days, and hardly 
spoke to Santa A^ma after. 

The conduct of Colonel Bowie was characteristic 
to the last. When the fort was carried he was sick 
in bed. He had also one of the murderous butcher 
knives which bears his name. Lying in bed he 
discharged his pistols and gun, and with each dis- 
charge brought down an enemy. So intimidated 
were the Mexicans by this act of desperate and 
cool bravery, that they dared not approacTi him, 
but shot him from the door; and as the cowards 
approached his bed, over the dead bodies of their 
companions, the dying Bowie, nerving himself for 
a last blowi, plunged his knife into the heart of his 
nearest foe at the same instant that he expired. 

The gallant Colonel Travis fought as if deter- 
mined to verify his prediction, that he would make 
a victory more serious than a defeat to the enemy. 
He fell from the rampart, mortally wounded, into 
the fort ; and his musket fell forward among the 
Id 



206 coLONE^ Crockett's 

foe, who were scaling the wall. After a few 
minutes he recovered sufficiently to sit up, when 
the Mexican officer who led that party attempted 
to cut his head off with his sabre. The dying hero, 
with a death grasp, drew his sword and plunged it 
into the body of his antagonist, and both together 
sank into the arms of death. General Cos, who 
had commanded this fortress while in the posses- 
sion of the Mexicans, and from whom it was cap- 
tured, on entering the fort after the battle, ordered 
the servant of Colonel Travis to point out the body 
of his master; he did so, when Cos drew his sword, 
w^aved it triumphantly over the corpse, and then 
mangled the face and limbs with the malignant 
feelings of a Cumanche savage. One woman, Mrs. 
Dickinson, and a negro of Col. Travis, were the 
only persons whose lives were spared. The bodies 
of the slain were then thrown into a mass in the 
centre of the Alamo, and burned. The loss of the 
Mexicans in storming the place was not less than 
eight^iundred killed and mortally wounded, making 
their losses since the first assault more than fifteen 
hundred. This immense slaughter, by so small a 
number, can only be accounted for by the fact of 
the Texians having five or six guns to each man 
in the fort. Immediately after the capture Santa 
Anna sent Mrs. Dickinson and the servant to 



ADVENTURES iN TEXAS. 207 

General Houston, accompanied by a Mexican with 
a flag, offering the Texians peace and general 
amnesty, if they would lay down their arms, and 
submit to his government. General Houston's 
reply was, "True, sir, you have succeeded in kill- 
ing some of our brave men, but the Texians are 
not yet conquered." He sent him a copy of the 
Declaration of Independence recently agreed on at 
New Washington. 

After the capture of San Antonio, Santa Anna 
had made a feint on Gonzales, where General 
Houston was with a very inferior force, which in- 
duced the latter to fall back on the Colorado, under 
the belief that the whole Mexican army was march- 
ing to attack, him. A similar feint was also made 
by the Mexican General on Bastrop, a town on the 
Colorado, north-east of San Antonio. Gonzales 
lies east- of that place. Having, in both instances, 
effected his object, Santa Anna concentrated his 
forces, and marched directly for La Bahia, or Go- 
liad, which is situated about ninety miles south-east 
of San Antonio, on the Colorado. The fort at 
Goliad is of great strength, and w-as defended by 
Colonel Fanning with a small force of volunteers. 
About the middle of March, orders were received 
from General Houston directing the blowing up 
and evacuation of the fort, and that Colonel Fanning 



208 

should concentrate with him on the Colorado. On 
the 18th of March the Mexicans were discovered, 
in considerable force, in the neighbourhood of Go- 
liad, and through the day there was some skirmish- 
ing with the advance parties. On the 19th the 
fort was set on fire, and its wooden defences de- 
stroyed ; but the wall was left entire, and Colonel' 
Fanning took up his line of march. His force, 
at that time, was reduced to two. hundred and 
sixty, rank and file. With this force and several 
field pieces he set out to cross an open country, 
and endeavour to effect a junction with General 
Houston. On the evening of the first day uf their 
march, the enemy made their appearance in the 
rear, about three miles distant. Colonel Fanning 
halted, and opened his artillery on them, instead 
of hastening forward to avail himself of the shelter 
of a wood, some distance ahead. The enemy ma- 
nifesting a disposition to cut him off* from the 
woods, he again put his forces in motion, but it 
was now too late. He not only lost the shelter of 
the timber, which'would have ensured his safety 
against the enemy's horse, but the assistance of his 
advanced guard, which was cut off* from him by 
this manoeuvre of the enemy. The absence of the 
advanced guard reduced his forces to two hundred 
and thirty-three, rank and file, to which the enemy 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 209 

opposed five hundred cavalry and two hundred 
infantry. The action commenced about five 
o'clock, and continued until nearly dark. The 
enemy was repulsed with great loss in every 
charge, and never was able to penetrate nearer to 
Fanning's force than sixty-five or one hundred 
yards ; and finally, about dark, drew off his forces 
to a secure distance, leaving only a few to succour 
the wounded, who were not molested. Fanning's 
loss was five killed and twelve wounded, two 
mortally. The enemy acknowledged the loss of 
one hundred and ninety-two killed, and a large 
number wounded. So soon as the Mexicans with- 
drew, Fanning commenced throwing up intrench- 
ments, at which his men w^ere employed during 
the whole night. 

About sunrise on the 20th, the enemy again 
advanced on Fanning, and fired their cannon four 
times over him ; a large reinforcement of Mexi- 
cans was plainly to be seen, three miles distant. 
At this moment a white flag, attended by a small 
party, w^as seen advancing from the enemy, which 
was met by a similar one from Fanning, under 
Major Wallace. The enemy demanded the sur- 
render of Fanning and his forces, and promised, in 
the most sacred manner, that they should retain all 
their private property ; that they might return, by 
IS* 



210 

the first opportunity, as prisoners of war, to the 
United States, or remain until they were regular!}^ 
exchanged ; and that they should be treated in the 
most humane manner while retained in confine- 
ment. With these specious promises he was in- 
duced to trust to the honour of the butchers of the 
Alamo, and accept of the terms of capitulation. 

As soon as the necessary arrangements could be 
made the prisoners were marched, under a strong 
guard, to Goliad, and huddled together, officers and 
men, into a church witiiin the fort at Goliad. The 
enemy having succeeded in capturing other small 
parties, the number of prisoners amounted to four 
hundred, and were all crowded together in the 
church, and compelled to sit or lie constantly. 
The only accommodation afforded was a few 
benches for. the officers. They were retained in 
this situation for three days, and during this 
period received only a small ration of raw beef, 
not exceeding half a pound each. On the fourth 
day they were marched out into the open air, and 
limits prescribed them, over which they were not 
to pass. For four days longer they were kept in 
this situation, during which they were allowed 
only two rations similar to the first; and, but for 
the pecan nuts purchased from the Mexican sol- 
diers, and a smalf quantity of jerked beef procured 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 2ll 

in the same manner, they must have suffered im- 
mensely. On the eighth day representations were 
made to the prisoners, that it would be necessary 
to remove them out of the fort, as tliey were about 
to drive in beeves to slaughter, in order to prepare 
rations for their removal to Matagorda, where they 
were to take shipping for New Orleans. They 
were accordingly marched out, in parties of one 
hundred each, and, in single file, were led along a 
high brush fence ; when, at the distance of two 
hundred yards, they were ordered to face about, 
and the cocking of the guns gave the first intima- 
tion of the fate that awaited them. At the first 
fire nearly all fell mortally wounded. A few 
escaped by falling at the flash, and as soon as the 
firing ceased, the}' leaped up, and sprung over the 
fence, and succeeded in reaching the woods, where 
they eluded their pursuers. The Mexicans pro- 
ceeded to despatch with their ba5"onets any who 
showed signs of life after the firing, and they 
then stripped- and burnt the bodies. The authori- 
ties of Texas bestowed solemn obsequies upon 
their mutilated and blackened limbs, on the 4th 
of June, after their murderers had sank unto death 
on the plains of San Jacinto, under the appalling 
words, " Remember La Bahia!" 
But this succession of barbarities, so far from 



212 

intimidating, served to rouse the energies of the 
oppressed. The vainglorious Spaniard, elated v^^ith 
his success, without adverting to the fact that he 
had never been victorious without having at least 
from five to ten of his mercenaries opposed to one 
of his foes, now ventured to, cross the Colorado, 
believing that victory was perched upon his stand- 
ard, and would not leave it until Texas should be 
subdyed. 

His track was marked by death and desolation. 
Fire, famine, and the sword were in his train, and 
neither sex nor age was received as a plea for 
mercy. The hoary head of the grandsire, the 
flaxen curls of the babe, and the dishevelled tresses 
of the affrighted mother, were alike stained with 
gore. Farm houses were consumed by fire, the 
crops destroyed in the ground ; and the settlers 
fled in dismay, feeling that the worst of scourges 
had been let loose upon them. The plains were 
strewed with thousands of the unburied slaugh- 
tered ; and the air was fetid with corruption and 
decay. The merciless tyrant saw all this, and his 
heart expanded with joy, as he moved on, like 
Attila, and beheld the terror and wretchedness of 
those he came to annihilate, rather than to scourge 
into subjection. But his was a temporary triumph. 
He crossed the Colorado full of hope of carrying 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 213 

his demoniac intentions into execution, but shame, 
confusion, and defeat awaited his coming. 

About the 18th of April the tyrant, with one 
division of his troops, marched in the direction of 
Lynch's ferry, on the San Jacinto, burning Harris- 
burgh as he passed down. The Texian forces 
under General Houston were ordered to be in 
readiness, and on the morning of the 19th they 
took up their line of march in pursuit of him, and 
found him encamped on the banks of the San 
Jacinto. About nine o'clock on the morning of 
the 21st the Mexicans were reinforced by five hun- 
dred choice troops, under command of General Cos, 
incseasing their effective force to upward of fifteen 
hundred men, while the aggregate force of the 
Texians, for the field, numbered seven hundred 
and eighty-three. General Houston ordered the 
bridge on the only road communicating with the 
Brazos, distant from the encampment, to be de- 
stroyed, thus cutting off all possibility of escape. 
The Texian army was ordered to parade their 
respective commands, which they did with alacrity 
and spirit, and were anxious for the conflict; the 
disparity in numbers only seemed to- increase their 
enthusiasm and confidence. Houston, having the 
enemy thus snugly hemmed in, and his little army 
drawn up in order of battle, addressed them, in 



214 

person, briefly, and concluded by saying, "Fellow 
soldiers, there is the enemy before you ; do you 
wish to fight?" "We do!" was the universal 
response. " Well, then," he continued, " remem- 
ber it is for liberty, or death! — Remember the 
Alamo! Remember Goliad!" The soldiers shout- 
ed, "We shall remember!" — " Then go ahead!" 
From General Houston's official account it appears 
that the. war-cry was, "Remember the Alamo." 
The attack was furious, and lasted about eighteen 
minutes from the time of close- action until the 
Texians were in possession of the enemy's camp. 
Our riflemen, not having the advantage of bayonets, 
used their pieces as clubs, breaking many of them^ at 
the breach. The rout commenced at half-past four 
o'clock, and continued until twilight. In the battle 
our loss was two killed and twenty-three wounded, 
six of whom mortally. The enemy's loss was six 
hundred and thirty killed, and seven hundred and 
thirty were tak^n prisoners, among whom were 
Generals Santa Anna and Cos, who were captured 
a day or two after the battle. About six hundred 
muskets and three hundred sabres were collected ; 
several hundred mules and horses were taken, and 
near twelve hundred dollars in specie. 

We learn, from other sources, that General Cos, 
when taken, was pale and greatly agitated ; but 



ADVENTURES IN TEXAS. 215 

Almonte displayed, as he had during the fight, 
great coolness and courage. Santa Anna fled 
among the earliest who retreated. His horse 
bogged down in the prairie, near the Brassos 
timber; he then made for the timber on foot. 
His pursuers, in the eagerness of the chase, dashed 
into the same bog, and continued the pursuit on 
foot, following the traii of the fugitive, which was 
very plain on account of the recent rains, until 
they reached the timber, where it was lost. The 
pursuers then spread themselves, and searched the 
woods for a long time in vain, when it occurred to 
Arnold Hunter that the chase might, like a hard 
pressed bear, have taken a tree. The tree tops 
were then examined, when, lo! the game was dis- 
covered snugly ensconced in the forks of a large 
live oak. The captors did not know who the 
prisoner was- until they reached tlie camp, when 
the, Mexican soldiers exclaimed, "El General, El 
General Santa Anna!" When conducted to Ge- 
neral Houston he offered to evacuate Texas, and 
acknowledge its independence, on condition that 
his life and liberty should be granted to him, and 
a safe escort to Mexico. 

The enemy passed La Bahia and Bexar, blowing 
up the Alamo; spiking, and throwing the cannon in 
the river, in his retreat. The Cumanchc Indians 



216 ADVENTtTRES IN TEXAS. 

commenced depredating in the rear of the Mexican 
army, as they advanced from Bexar upon the 
settlements. All their horses and mules, of which 
they had many, as well as much baggnge, were 
takea by the Indians. At every step they met 
with trouble, and are hurrying with all possible 
despatch toward the interior. 

The fate of poor Fanning, who was not killed 
in the indiscriminate massacre of his troops, has 
since been ascertained. He was condemned to be 
shot. When he found that was determined on, 
and was ordered out for execution, he handed his 
watch to an officer, as compensation to have him 
buried, deliberately tied a handkerchief over his 
eyes, begged them not to shoot him in the head, 
bared his breast, and requested to be shot there. 
He was shot in the head, and never buried! 

Such are the monsters that freemen have had to 
contend with, to maintain their freedom ; true, the 
struggle is not yet over, but nothing can impede 
the onward march, and Texas must take her stand 
among independent.nations. 



THE END, 



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